BFM, Thank you for posting. I read your thread and also FW's. You have an amazing story.
The mind of an MLC'er is amazing, but more so when you hear it first hand! I am not sure if my H has MLC, if ever he is, he seems pretty nice too, especially now, and I identified with your sitch in many ways. I esepcially read about the physical attraction part because I too, have a problem with that. Reading about it from your H point of view, that it may have helped keep the connection, makes me breathe a sigh of relief.
I hope more success stories will come out and post, they are inspiring, and also, a good model for us who are struggling!
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
You did what you knew you needed to do in the way of walking the journey, and managed to come through with your marriage; God did, indeed perform a miracle within your marriage.
Yet, in the new marriage that came out of the fires of the crisis; as you and your husband have learned; the work never stops; it continues.
As long as God is put first, all else will follow and blessings will abound.
Biggest advice is patience and trust in God. He will get you through this one no matter the outcome.
You are absolutely correct. You followed HIS instruction; given through your intuition; NEVER think your methods were "unorthodox".
There was a time for you to back away, and a time for you to come forward, because you listened to Him; you knew these times.
God has His Way of doing things; and as long as you obey Him and His direction; you KNOW things will come out all right.
The above statement you made is key for bringing anyone through anything; He never puts anymore on you than you can bear at any given time.
I've read the threads; including your husband's and I can see where your husband DID go through a MLC; the reason he was able to talk about it; was the fact he was able to lay his pride aside; you can't say that about most people.
He also struck me as a very outgoing person; and one who was willing to be open about not only the crisis; but his mistakes within that time.
God works in mysterious ways; His wonders to behold; God brings so many good things out of bad situations.
The few who are willing to speak of their experience confirms MLC as a true life's trial...and people are not just imagining things.
You trust in the Lord for the outcome; you take the journey laid before your feet to change, growth and healing; and you HOPE your MLC spouse does the same.
Each one facing themselves and each other, it takes TWO to bring the marriage back together if both are willing to do the work.
Been there, too.
May God continue to light your paths and bless your marriage beyond your expectations; as the future; which is a bright one, shines before the two of you.
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
I have read all your threads, including your husband's and I say I am inspired that God worked on you both even if you didn't know it. Your story gives me confirmation that God is working on mine and many other broken marriages.
If you get on again, I heard a song this week that reminded me of all those WAS/MLCer's out there and you and your husband's story. Come Home by Luminate
This is an awesome song and I wish my H would hear it, but he doesn't listen to Christian music.
HB is right, by listening and allowing God to lead you, has been a blessing and the right thing for you to do. Keep praying for all of us and we will be praying for you! Blessings!
Lorie W47 H48 D16 M20 H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW
When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.
Hi BFM....glad to hear things are still going well with you and FW. Congratulations for making it this far.
I let my H come home last year...it lasted almost a year, but found out he was still continuing to run around on me so I had to make a decision to just move on with out him. Its been hard, but God is there to help me everyday!
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
HB - loved your post. You are so right on about listening to God through my intuition. That describes what I did to a "t".
Jack - I would agree that with most, coming here is not a good idea. I knew it would work for us but I didn't suggest that until reconciliation was a real thing. Even then, I wouldn't suggest it for everyone. On our first go round back together there is no way I would have told H about this place. I knew when it was the right time. For most there will never be a right time.
Sorry I fell off the earth for a few days - my S-8 got walking pneumonia and I haven't even turned on the computer.
I don't have as much time as I used to get on here, read people's situations and post, but will try to help if I feel I can.