Getting a rent check on April 1st! I am so relieved. Going to my aunt's on Thurs and then my sister's on Friday/Sat night. Meeting the friend whose horse I have been caring for for the last year for dinner at the restaurant she works at. And my sister is going to take S15 and I ice skating!
I am soooo ready to relax and unwind with family/friends. The past year has been great in some ways, but man--very stressful in others. I feel relief just thinking about getting away!lol.
Sorry I haven't had a lot of time to post. I am reading up on you situation. Crazy how it was just done like that. Wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you. (((((Laura)))))
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Hey Kat, how was your trip!! I bet you had an amazing time--I have on my bucket list to do something big like this with my S15 one day!
I just got back from being with him 3 days and it was wonderful. He was sad the first day, which killed me, but he got out of his funk and started to have a good time the 2nd and 3rd day. Got to go ice skating and hit some golf balls with my cousin, who is a really sweet guy.
I read a really great book one morning waiting for everyone to get up--living your life like you have 30 days and really enjoying the moment. I began to relax into enjoying my time away--trying not to worry about my joblessness and school and money sitchuation.
Basically I gave myself time to get through these initial months and not put too much pressure on myself to "do things" immediately. I have enough money to get me through for a while, and each day I get closer to what I want to be. So RELAX already! There are still going to be sad days, but you know? Just knowing, for instance, that this Friday I have no school and can plan whatever I want (S is with dad) is LIBERATING!
I am going to have to be very careful money-wise. But I can cut back on the areas that don't mean that much to me and perhaps I won't feel it too badly. I'm praying that is how it works in the end.lol. But for me, a meal of ramen noodles is no big sacrifice. And getting my clothes from sister and mom, etc, also--no biggie. I love to hit garage sales and got my loveseat off craig's list. I can do this!
Went to my friend's CODA meeting last night--they are a little strange--you really don't comment or "cross talk" and just tell what's been going on in your world. It was nice to see friend though.
I am feeling better today--I have the next 3 days to myself and just have to worry about school, which, I like it a lot. My anniversary (would have been married 16 years) was on the 31st and that was a hard day. But then the next day was gorgeous and I had my S15 and he played some good April Fool's jokes on me!
I had my first Hospice visit and it went so well! The people were lovely--the father 95 was SHARP and the daughter was his caregiver. She kept putting off her errands because as she put it, I was a fresh audence and he was enjoying telling stories about his dad and mom and sister and he and growing up in New York. So fascinating--they had photos and all kinds of mememntoes.
I still have my challenges, like I couldn't get the lawn mower started and had to get a neighbor to help, but I still have hope that I can do this. Getting a job or course being a priority! But again, it seems to be working out with God's timing.
I have felt nothing but relief. Maybe some sadness. But the weight coming off my shoulders--wow. I didn't know you could feel that good finally getting something you didn't want and worked so hard to keep from happening.
I have had a rough summer--wondering WHAT in the world was up with the delay of the D, then getting bit by my dog (accident--stepped on him) but it was a horrible bite--my Xray tech neighbor said he hit an artery after she saw the blood stains that are still in the barn and where it happened on my leg. She said I was so lucky not to get an infection.
I've had things in the house (because of ex's lack of repairing and keeping up with ANYTHING) fall apart all around me--the water tank rusted apart and as soon as I had that replaced I got a leak in my laundry room. It's major. Still working on that one! Thankful I paid my homeowner's insurance!!
My ex didn't give me any money after March--no child support--nothing. And I took on every single bill. 2 mortgages--everything. I rented out the property with the trailer to a neighbor that is losing his house. That money saved me. Neighbor has fixed up 660 square feet SO ADORABLY (he is horrified when I call the place adorable or cute.lol. But it is AMAZING!!!) He paid I-don't-even-know WHAT to make the water tank at the trailer not have dirt/crud in it any longer. I tell him he is an angel sent to help me on this earth. He laughs at me.
I have had so many angels come help me. I look at people completely differently. They are angels with special powers to say the right thing at the right time. I don't know how to make them human again. Maybe I never have to. They guide me and protect me and are all around me. Even though bad things happen--they never end up all that bad. The dog bite that should have ? had stitches at least I think--I had my church pray over it, put antibiotic ointment on it--stayed off of it--it's almost healed over. I never had a problem from it.
I got A's in all my classes. I met the most amazing people. I have a new fun hobby of clipping coupons and getting FREE STUFF. SO much fun!
Going through this process has been so incredibly difficult--and yet it has brought me the most incredible joy. Do I sound nuts???? I ask people all the time--are they SURE I'm not losing it?? They laugh at me.
I have no bitterness towards ex. The things I could be angry with him about....they are blessings in disguise. The home he fled from and stuck me with--all the problems--they are being solved slowly and miraculously in the most incredible ways! I have no job yet--and yet....I am not freaked out about it at all. I have been told over and over--you will find a job. I believe them.
I was in Walgreens "doing my thing" with the coupons and a lady stopped and we chatted for about 1/2 hour--me explaining how to do it--and then I noticed she was wearing scrubs. I asked where she works, about her job, told her I just finished school and was hoping to be D'd soon--how I wanted to spend a few more weeks with my son who is 15 and has had me as a SAHM all his life and also I didn't want to start a job until the D was finished.
She gave me her name and number. She said to call her when I was certified and done with my divorce.
Things like this happen ALL THE TIME!
I know I'm on a bit of a "high" right now. But daily I marvel at what is happening in my life. It's too much for me sometimes to contemplate. I have a trust and a confidence I didn't think existed. Who am I ? I ask my son.
He laughs at me. I'm his crazy mom of course. He is so beautiful. He took care of his mom after the bite--wrapped her leg--cleaned up the blood all over the porch. He wasn't freaked out at all. He was so cool and collected in a crisis. Blood doesn't bother him. He thinks he might become a physician assistant like his dad.
Focus on the positives. No matter what--they are there. And laugh. Always laugh!
Hey there MIL--I hope you are doing well. And yes--GAL takes time! I have a new hobby (couponing) that is FUN--but I'm not one of those "extreme" ones--just getting enough to take care of my own and S15's needs and now I am helping to get stuff for my ex SIL's mission trip.
I tell ya--I will NEVER pay another penny for toothbrushes, toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner, body wash, razors, or CANDY. This stuff is ALWAYS free at CVS and Walgreens (here in Florida)
And up your way you have Rite Aid and some other stores that sound amazing--stores that double coupons all the time!! In Florida we NEVER have double coupons. But we have Publix and the B1G1 stacked with coupons (and you can also stack them with competitor coupons like Target and Winn Dixie and Albertsons) means I do get some free things every week. Trick is to do it when it's the "season" for it.
Like barbecue sauce--Ok, I am set for at least 2-3 years and it all was free. I even got free barbecue sauce and free ribs one time.
I now have a group of friends that meet once a week on Sunday nights to do "coupon stuff". They are more particular than I am and so they give me coupons of things they won't use.
YES!! I am so blessed. I have too many positives in my life to be down for more than a couple of hours at a time. Even when I am sad, I hear God saying--but.. but...but....look over HERE!!lol.
Are you yet divorced? What have you been doing to GAL lately?
extreme couponing is sweeping the nation. it truly is a full time job to do that. i simply don't have the patience but those who do .. more power to you!.
i'm glad you are coping with your divorce in fun ways.
me? time went by but my sitch did not budge at all. still no SLA in place. still no d papers.
no, he didn't change his mind. he's just procrastinating. i have not spoken to him in a year now. but i do my own thing .. work, exercise .. i'm thinking about going back to school at night. we'll see ..
i'm sure before the end of the year, i'll be divorced.
You would love this book - The Tightwad Gazette by Dacyzyn. Creative and entertaining and inspiring and clever. It's an old book so you should be able to find it in the library or buy a used copy from Amazon.
KML, I need to get that book. I hope my life settles down enough so I can read some stuff again!
But I did manage to read "The Shack". WOW--I don't like fiction that much any longer but THAT BOOK-- It's amazing! I have 20 more pages to go and I DON"T WANT IT TO END!!!
And the really, really weird thing? A LOT of these random strangers I meet that are so helpful and encouraging to me are older black women.
I met another one yesterday. She's going to be 62 in a couple of months. She has been off drugs 15 years. She works at the vocational school I'm thinking of going to. I started talking to her--I don't know HOW these things happen--about just general stuff and the next thing you know she pulls out this devotional and she tells me she was so annoyed that she was reading this particular page today but now realizes--it was for me!
I read it and I got goosebumps everywhere--I couldn't believe how it applied to me.
My life is SO STRANGE and wonderful all at the same time....
