kinda makes me happy to hear u want to be at the point im at---means ive really come so far and to a good place...this is the funniest part - last night h only wanted attention from me and i kept backing away from him (son does not know about any of this, it is after he is asleep)...and i back away thinking about how much i miss my exboyfriend...that alone makes me smile to think how far i have come and how it is truly possible to move on and find someone u might possibly love just as much if not more...its almost crazy to experience it. if i reread my old posts, wow. ive come a long way...
u will too sanderika, u will. one day it will all just click...the best thing i did was move out of that house into a new environment. is it possible for you to do that too? i live in a wonderful community, all people in our situation, lots of kids. and it is beautiful, so moving from my big house didnt hurt as much...i have made so many wonderful new friends and i really enjoy myself here...
dont get me wrong, i still have nightmares about psycho ow and their baby and getting emails from my lawyer about finalizing this still hurts in a way. but its not the same. im further removed from it.
h is emailing me now as i write this...he is bizarre..no matter who he ends up with, he will never be faithful. it wasnt about me, its about him. and im sure thats the case with your h too..
hang in there sanderika.
me: 31 H:29 Son:5 m:8 years in november t:10 years first bomb: 10/06 moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08 ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06 d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08 moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
I guess there was a time I was doubtful you would be able to break free from all the psychotic drama.
You did it and have given little son so much more everyday for having the strength to take a stand against H and OW. I have always been sorry he treated you so badly. I am sorry they don't wake up in time to reverse the damages they cause.
I know moving for you was a wise choice given the in-laws next door and H's relentless "stalking" for lack of a better word.
I can't move right now. Son does not want to leave his home. He has only ever lived here and is a freshman in high school. I will wait it out to seek another place in a few years. I live in a very small town in southern Maine and I do have a very good group of supportive friends. The hardest part is H is only 6 miles away. My home is really nice and comfortable. It is a large property too, with 2 big Barns as well. It is probably too much property for me to take care of alone, I try really hard and eventually will sell it and downsize.
Your H emailing is so funny, he doesn't get it!! He does get the award for "I caught on after I lost everything" LOL
We will chat later, someone is here to plow my driveway and I need to move the car
Sanderika
ME48/H48MLC T 33y M 28y S16 OW 8/7/05 Bomb 8/16/05 Sep 9/05 H f'd D 10/3/08 D pp'd 1/20/09,7/24/09,12/4/09 D dismissed 2/5/10 H served me D papers again 9/4/10 D dismissed 9/26/11
oh, u must have had the same snow storm we had in ny...dont miss having to have my driveway plowed....where i live it is all done for me. fabulous benefit of the divorce lol....
one of the things that helped me to move on is that the circle of people i travel in right now have no associaton to h...h and i married young...being 32 and divorced is rare. so the people im in with an older crowd now and none of them know him. the places i go, he doesnt go. so, i guess, if he were in this circle, it would have been harder..
i see the women who have to deal with their exes, being know as "so and so's exwife"...much harder to deal with...
we will both be ok, i promise! good idea to let your son finished high school where u live...my son was much much younger and easier to move....i only moved 10 minutes from where we lived but its a great change for me.
as for my h, he emails me all day long. he regrets what he did but cant change it now. i think by still talking to me and wanting my attention minimizes the effects for him. i play along because its better to stay on good terms, but at the same time, im moving on with my life and looking for someone new, and looking to finalize the divorce at some point, so long as everything is fair and he pays fairly for the damage he did.
me: 31 H:29 Son:5 m:8 years in november t:10 years first bomb: 10/06 moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08 ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06 d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08 moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
I need your strength. I am in the beginning stages of all this. My H left in 12/10. I confronted him about an out of state affair that i suspected but then definitely confirmed. I am so lost. Everyone tells me to forget about him and move on but i have many many years invested. I need strength but dont have an ounce right now. Im on last resort method right now. How did you get to where you are?
