Luvless going to surviving the big D

[luvless]

Hi guys,

They locked my short thread at "I gave up..filed for D" I had hoped to stay here until the D was final but I guess I'm going to move over to surviving the big D.

Our divorce is set to be final in about two weeks I need to thank all of you who helped me through this time here in newcomers. I logged on last November 24th and it's now Nov 27th a year later. What a terrible year it was.

Please continue to follow me in the other room and thank you again - ALL of you for every bit of support along the way. I am deeply appreciative.

Luv

[cat04]

Luvless,

Probably no need to move. They locked threads that are over 100 posts.

[dbmod]

cat's right, no need to move.

[dbmod]

Here's your last thread

luvless' previous thread

[luvless]

dbmod that is so cool of you to do...

thank you

[luvless]

Hi guys,

A couple days ago I talked to my stbxH for the first time since he left. We talked for 3 hour and mostly business. I did tell him about the kids and how they were really upset about that other person. He seemed to be quiet and listen.

He had been texting me to see if we could come to a settlement. He is tired of paying atty fees - no sh*t. I guess he had a different idea of what divorce was going to be like. He complained the entire time how stressed he was and how he wanted to move on. It hurt like hell but I kept my composure. He doesn't even sound like the guy I know....so angry.

He kept telling me "I hope you see that I'm trying to be fair." My opinion is I thought it was very unfair to cheat and lie and treat your wife like crap. That is NOT being fair if you ask me.

There was no real resolve in the conversation other than he wants me to keep the house. I feel like it's mine anyway. I'm here taking care of the kids and he's out there living a life free of responsibility. I'm so disappointed in him. I miss the man I married and the dad he used to be. Oh well I have my family here and he will live an EMPTY life without his real family - me and the kids. He does not know loyalty. I hope he gets it one day.

On a good note I bought my own car last night. I made a phone call and went to pick it up. I haven't bought a car in 20 years. It's definately a down grade from what I'm used to driving but it's new and it's mine. My ex is going to pick up the car I drive now. He would rather pay the outrageous payment and keep it (he had two cars now) than to help me with half.

My divorce is set to be final next week. I've come a long way since last Nov. but it still feels awful.

Luv

[dbmod]

luv,

You sound wonderful. Divorce sucks. But there is life--and I believe you are starting towards a good life--afterwards. Who knows what will happen--he may well regret this later.

Your choices now are all YOURS. You get to create what you want now. You get to think about all the things you want in a future relationship.


On a good note I bought my own car last night. I made a phone call and went to pick it up. I haven't bought a car in 20 years. It's definately a down grade from what I'm used to driving but it's new and it's mine.

That's the way to start. New.

[desert_rat]

cat's right, no need to move.

Of course the cool people are in Surviving!

[luvless]

My divorce was final yesterday. Damn it's been one hell of a year. I can't believe I was ok. It actually was a very nice day...and night. I felt a weird sense of peace that I can't explain. Maybe God finally answered my prayer - to stop loving my ex husband. I hate to say it was a numb feeling because it wasn't. I was expecting to be very sad but the feeling never came.

My daughter's kitten died two days before. It just seems my family has been hit with so much emotional and financial devastation all because of the actions of one. I tried to save the kitty but I couldn't see her suffer so I put her to sleep. My daughter held her paw the entire time. She cried so sadly I wanted to die. All I could think is why does my ex husband get to escape all the pain? He never has to see or hear any of it.

That morning I was feeling so awful and cried all day about the kitten. That little kitty brought a lot of smiles to our household and was definately a good distraction for my daughter. It was awful to see her so distraught. She has felt so abandoned by her dad. It's just another thing she loved that is gone.

We are doing better about kitty and realize she is not suffering anymore. She literally got sick overnight. She was diagnosed with two major feline diseases.

I want to thank EVERYONE for all of your support. I will hang around the "surviving the big divorce" area and still offer my thoughts and support to others in the forum. I wouldn't have been able to go through this without you guys.
Max - you my friend - no words for how you helped me.

Luv is not luvless anymore

[luvless]

I'm still working on a settlement with ex. He keeps pressuring me to settle but I don't like his proposal and he obviously didn't like mine.

He is worried about attorney expenses. It baffles me why he didn't realize divorce is expensive.

I had a great Christmas with the kids. It was so nice to them happy. We spent some quality time together on Christmas eve and day. Last year was horrible so we definately made up this year. Ex was around the house making everyone miserable with his drinking and texting his coworker. We all knew what he was doing and it was upsetting us all.

Kids went to see him on Christmas afternoon for gifts and dinner. They came home complaining that he didn't even sit at the table with them. Instead he sat with the family he lives with while my kids were at another table. It made me sick to my stomach. Who does that? He never sees them. Invites them to a strangers home for a family oriented holiday and then doesn't even sit with them? I'm freaked out to think this man used to be my husband. He is insane! and incapable of having EMPATHY for the family he left.

We're doing ok...better everyday but we still have to deal with him and his lack of consideration for any of our feelings.

Luv