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Sorry kml, but I totally think his interest was peaked when he saw that you had a webcam...and you were chatting with someone.

He wants to have webcam sex with you or see you naked. I am 99% confident about this.


me,34
exH,34
S,16 months
S:3/31/09-left for OW
started DBing 10/09
d final: sometime 10/10
current:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1
met in 2004

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The first time I had sex after my ex (and the last time I had sex, lol!) felt weird, felt like it was missing something emotional, but also felt very good physically and was fun! It was weird because it was someone new, it was after I had a baby so my body was different, and it weird also because I wasn't planning it. It was fun because I had been pent up for a bit and was able to be extra "spicy!" but I definitely wasn't able to fully relax.

I don't regret it! I regret not having more of it, lol!


me,34
exH,34
S,16 months
S:3/31/09-left for OW
started DBing 10/09
d final: sometime 10/10
current:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1
met in 2004

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most computers now adays have webcams built in...
i doubt it was webcam sex he was after

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kml Offline
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Oh, I think the IDEA of the webcam probably got him going a bit. And then when he knew I was chatting with somebody else - with my webcam on - I suspect it kicked in a little competitiveness (although I didn't tell him who I was chatting with - for all he knew it could have been my Aunt Hattie!).

I don't expect a guy to chat with me while he's working - in fact I assumed that was probably the case, until later that evening when I saw he was on the dating site but still hadn't said hi to me. I wasn't upset or anything - simply took it as a sign that he wasn't all that interested (frankly, I'm not sure if I am or not). I DO know that one thing I liked about the East Coast guy, was that he reminded me what it's like when a guy is really INTO you. And I'm trying to hold out for that.

I just thought it was funny and predictable that when I was seeming so un-anxious to talk with him, he suddenly calls me Princess.

I'll probably give him a chance - at least see what he shows me about himself. But I think obviously it would be a good strategy to NOT be too available. Which, since yesterday I was off the computer entirely and didn't get home until 2 a.m., was very easy to do. We did chat briefly this afternoon but then I had to go to Costco with my mom.

(I went out to a punk show with my 38 year old singer friend - she's a hoot. All the guys were younger but you know what? I didn't feel like I stood out as an old lady or anything - that was nice wink )

When I DID get home, I quickly went online to check my messages (old boyfriend's daughter had her baby yesterday, she and I are close). And my way, way too young guy was on and wanted to chat by Skype - so didn't get to sleep until three a.m. after talking with him. (Sigh - I wish HE was 20 years older, he's so totally my type.)

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You know kml, it sounds like your East Coast guy is serving a real purpose of connection and affirmation. Enjoy it and just let it be what it is -- most likely limited in its potential but worthwhile for what it offers you at this point in time. It's good that are looking for a guy who is really "into" you.

One caution though, is I'd look for that "he's really into you" thing AFTER meeting IRL. With my current boyfriend, he showed genuine interest before we met, but also sent mixed signals because he was dating other women at the time and not hugely invested in meeting me immediately.

It completely changed after we met. He found me much more "beautiful in person" (blush) and the chemistry and ease of being together was immediate and remarkable. During and after our first meeting there was no question about him being into me...and it was based on IRL interactions, not the meaningful but abstract interactions of internet/phone.

That's why I agree with the advice of communicating enough to screen out undesirables and get a sense of the person and the potential interest, but don't delay meeting IRL for too long. So many say that their IRL experiences don't mesh with their online interactions.


me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4
current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp
.: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
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Quote:
but don't delay meeting IRL for too long. So many say that their IRL experiences don't mesh with their online interactions.


WORD!!!

I have said this so many times. Again, based on PREVIOUS dating experience, not recent. But it still applies smile


me,34
exH,34
S,16 months
S:3/31/09-left for OW
started DBing 10/09
d final: sometime 10/10
current:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1
met in 2004

Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
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kml Offline
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Yes, absolutely, I agree.I've really only met three guys from online. One was very nice, looked just like his pics, but there was zero chemistry on my part. We remain friends however.

One sounded promising online but when we met he was SOOOO into me and I just - wasn't. The subtleties of neediness and borderline weirdness had not come across online. That's when I learned that lesson - meet 'em quick!

This guy lives 2 hours away so I am considering whether maybe a video chat would be a good substitute for a quick coffee meet and greet. What do you think? (I will admit, I haven't met the much-too-young guy in person yet (and probably won't) but we chat on Skype and it has given me a pretty good sense of him. )

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I think a video chat will be a good screener! I need to get a webcam...


me,34
exH,34
S,16 months
S:3/31/09-left for OW
started DBing 10/09
d final: sometime 10/10
current:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1
met in 2004

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What I have heard is 3 connections and then you meet. So, you email, talk on the phone, text and then you meet. It's too easy to have a "fairy tale" online romance. You MUST see if the chemistry/connection is there as soon as possible.


Me 55
H 49
Married 21 years
No kids
bomb 5/09
filed 7/09
divorced and moving forward 5/10

Life is all about Plan B
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kml Offline
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Three sounds like a good number.

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