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kissak Offline OP
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Just journaling....

H came by last night to get something out of his vehicle that is still at the house. He came in and wanted a hug right away....I looked at him and said "ok, what do you want?" lol...He looked shocked that I asked, but I called him on it...I said "you want something, there is a motive to being nice and wanting hugs".

Im not playing anymore. I have no idea what he is thinking. He even had the nerve to ask if he could borrow my bath tub!! OMG, I had to bite my tounge on that one...but I did say that he had a whole river in his "new" back yard, lol. He thought I was being hostile to him and wanted to know why, then thought I had deleted him off of my FB, which I hadnt.

Today it is back to smiley faces by text. I think my H just doesnt want the responsibility of being a husband, but he wants Me to still be his wife....???

Completely confused by his actions. Althought I expect confusion when it comes to him. Trying to not let him suck my back in. Not so hard this time...Im just truly seeing how immature he is.


Kissak

"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3
M-37 H-37
S-10, D-15
M- 1993
First bomb- 12/23/06
Came and went too MANY times!
Gone again 10-25-10
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,011
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hey, remember me? i havent been here in a while, just checking in on you...havent read your past posts, just see u are here, and clearly he was back and left again? ugh....hope you are doing well...

check my posts, ive been more than ok! in fact, my recent drama comes from the boyfriend i fell in love with after leaving H...long story, but if anything, it tells all of us that we can move on and can meet someone else and can fall in love again...when i have some times later i am going to try and read your past posts...if u want, post back and give me a summary!


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
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kissak Offline OP
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Hi Doodles! Yes, I remember you! How have you been?

Yes, My H was back, but this time I threw him out! Im doing good with it all.

I will check your posts!


Kissak

"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3
M-37 H-37
S-10, D-15
M- 1993
First bomb- 12/23/06
Came and went too MANY times!
Gone again 10-25-10
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,011
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ive been good, well in terms of H ive been good...my new drama is my boyfriend, well ex boyfriend for right now...i love how it was possible for me to move on fall in love and have relationship drama again...so you threw him out, are u going through divorce proceedings? i really need to read your old posts....did u look at mine? can u believe he had a baby with psycho ow? lol...and do u love that he only wants to talk to me and hop into bed with me? too too funny..sometimes im so fascinated that i got over it. if i can, anyone can!


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,011
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so i just read through some posts and i find it so funny how u guys were sitting at cs and getting along...thats just like us! we sit together in court as our lawyers battle a bitter divorce. how funny? i garnish his wages yet we sit together, we talk all the time and u wonder why we are apart. i wonder if its all a part of the middle life crisis thing?


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,525
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kissak Offline OP
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Same here mdoodles...my H I think still wants me, he wants to be my friend, have sex and do all that stuff..he just doesnt want the responsibility of being a husband. I guess he feels like now if he wants to cheat, he wont get in trouble for it....idk.

We have to wait a year before we can start divorce stuff...so who knows, maybe he will wake up and grow up or not. I really dont have the desire to be with him like before. I am really disgusted by him. All I see are those emails and how he talks to and treats OW. He is doing the same to me now.

Its sad, but for me to ever take him back, I would have to be like his warden, and him my prisoner with NO privacy...dont think either of us want that, so getting back together seems far fetched.

I cant believe your H had a baby with the OW! WEll, I can believe it, lol, but wow.

Yea, we get along great, actually better than when we were together. Its weird how he treats me completely different when we are apart...its almost sickening to me how nice he is right now.


Kissak

"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3
M-37 H-37
S-10, D-15
M- 1993
First bomb- 12/23/06
Came and went too MANY times!
Gone again 10-25-10
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,525
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kissak Offline OP
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Well, I really hated to do it, but I reread those emails between my H and the other women. He has been getting to me lately, texting me soo much. GOing right back to how it was before. Ugh~

Reading them again just reminded me that I need to stay away from him and his issues.

I mean, if he wants to be with me, grow up and be a real man and learn to love ONE women and treat her with the respect she deserves!

UGH, how I would love to give allll those stupid women a peice of my mind! How dare they carry on like this with a married man!!!!!!


Kissak

"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3
M-37 H-37
S-10, D-15
M- 1993
First bomb- 12/23/06
Came and went too MANY times!
Gone again 10-25-10
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,605
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Kissak - Maybe you needed to re-read the e-mails to reaffirm to yourself that you did the right thing by asking him to leave....sometimes anger helps to detach as well.

And why do you think that these other women knew that he was married? I don't think that he was eager to tell them.

Stay strong

(((hugs)))


M53 H54 D17
M33Y T38Y
Bomb OW 09/09
OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10
WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10
Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
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kissak Offline OP
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Mila, YOur right. I needed to read them to help reaffirm my decision.

I also did something else this morning. I told my H to please stop texting me so much. It wasnt helping me at all to always be expecting a text from him. It wasnt helping me to let go and move forward. That I still loved him and knew I couldnt be with him. That what he did behind my back hurt me greatly and I wasnt just gonna get over it easily. So, he didnt like it, he wants to talk to me now....its easier. Dont get that, but ok. He said he still loves me and would do whatever I needed, that he would always be here for me and blah blah blah....Point is, he doesnt like it. He knows deep down that Im the only real friend he has...maybe its time he just loses me. I cant keep letting him get away with the stuff he does and still gets to keep my friendship???

Idk...just having one of those mornings.

Oh, and Mila...these other women knew he was married and living with me...several of them even mentioned not texting him because his wife may see. If yall could only read those emails....Maybe I will post them...maybe you could get some insight to what goes on in his head and how the OW would respond to him.

I'm pretty sure he will have a hard time NOT texting me and wanting that friendship with me...he even said he didnt like it, but would try...hey, he did say If I didnt like him texting me so much that he would stop...guess he just didnt think I would say he should.

Am I doing the right thing here? Should I just cut him off completely from my life? Im not sure I can...a part of me still wants to be with him, but deep down I know I cant...how do I make that part that still wants him GO AWAY???


Kissak

"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3
M-37 H-37
S-10, D-15
M- 1993
First bomb- 12/23/06
Came and went too MANY times!
Gone again 10-25-10
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 843
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Originally Posted By: kissak
Am I doing the right thing here? Should I just cut him off completely from my life? Im not sure I can...a part of me still wants to be with him, but deep down I know I cant...how do I make that part that still wants him GO AWAY???
Detachment!
Love from a disance.

You need to enforce your boundaries.
That is part of leading the MLC'er through the crisis.

Although I seem to get disagreement with this advice, I still believe that we must LEAD.
In this case he must choose between you and the OW's.
He can not have both.

Be strong. smile

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