Eric and MHL- Coincidentally (and reassuringly) I am really not too bothered about the job. And the GM is coming tomorrow so could be interesting/enlightening. And I AM looking this as a great opportunity. Hopefully, the severance will carry me far enough to "look properly' for said opportunity.
And, to further prove the need for my friends, the Crazy Train made another stop here today. This time she is looking for a gift certificate she got last Christmas. Even went so far as to say what book it was in...as though everyhting is exctly as it was when she left- not all packed in the garage for three months.
Woo woo! All aboard.
My answer was 'I'll have a look'.
Didn't say when. Maybe on the weekend if I can fit it into my GAL'ing. Friday and Saturday nights are booked. Sunday is hockey, as usual.
A cousin made a comment on a FB pic I posted of D2. So I go to look at my pics and there are more pics than just my albums. Apparently, even though I am defriended, I am still 'tagged' in W's pics on her page so they show on my page. Including a pic of "D2 and Daddy watching TV"
You would think......
Man, I could sure use a "Touch" of key lime vodka.
Got a text from W Monday am about D's boots. I told her they are at the dayhome.
5 seconds later, a call. She informs me she is moving on the 14th. She would like to come by the house to get some things esp D's bed and her old sectional. I told her it's all in the garage. I ask for the address and she tells me. It's an existing home and if she needs furniture, it would appear it's not another case of shacking up with friends. I know she hasn't the funds to do this on her own so I can only presume Goober and she are gonna "play house" for real.
I'm getting "done".
I know it ain't standing but (play on words alert) I don't know how much more of this I can "stand"
Oh, and I forgot to mention that my job does terminate Dec 31. Package will keep me secure for a while. I'm starting the job search immediately so that the severance becomes a nest egg.
So in three weeks I buried a friend; lost my job and am told my W is likely moving in with OM.
Strangely, I still feel pretty good. I'm looking forward to the change in job. W moving her stuff out will be another stage in my "release" of the old M.
2011 will be a brand new year and a "180" from 2010.
This is pretty good. Keeping the focus on you & the good times AHEAD. Keep walking.
Me 36; H 40 baby born in May M:13, T:15 Bomb (OW): Dec 09 began DBing: Feb WH overseas with OW old: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2027369#Post2027369
Well, you know my story so you know that I know how hard it is to have so much hit you at once!
That's the weird thing though: I have found myself feeling strangely good too. (Even before the possible reconciliation.) I think it's because there is confidence in knowing that no matter what, you are going to build a good life for yourself! Well, that and the knowledge that you KNOW you deserve better...because you truly do!
We can plan for the future but the future sometimes has its own plan for us.
After a day of thoughts, I have a few things to add.
Regarding the pending meeting this weekend, I have decided that I plan to view her the same as I see her texts, etc. Simply continued dysfunction and there is nothing to find meaning in.
The presumption that she is going to continue away from me and play house with Goober is my problem. I obviously had a misconception/expectation (that word again) that the affair would be struggling/failing. That would be ridiculous. She is nowhere near bottom and may never hit it. This next stage of the affair is most hurtful to me and discouraging. But it is her choice and her life. Not mine.
I intend to email her later this week with a time that I will be available at the house Sunday- a 3 hour window.
I will ask if she is bringing help and who. If she is bold enough to say 'OM", the answer is NO. Period.
I will leave my D with my parents as I do not wish my D to see her mom's stuff packed and carted away.
While she is here I will ask if this new address is her "permanent" address so her mail can be forwarded (it will give me a "feel' for what this move is) and leads me to the next one VVVVV
If she doesn't take it all, I will ask that the balance of her stuff be removed by month end as I need the garage space.
I will try to be as upbeat and positive as I can while she is here. That's all I can ask of myself.
I don't expect perfection. And I'll deal with the silence afterwards.
Simply continued dysfunction and there is nothing to find meaning in.
Easy to say BUT hard to do.
Hey man I know you are in a MUCH better place but detachment...
...the kind that REALLY lets her go is still yet to come. You know how I know?
Because you are still focused on what she is doing with Goober.
Look at Goober as a tool. <<<<That is a double entendre (sp?)
She thinks she needs him to fix what is wrong inside. She blames you for not doing it for her or inhibiting that what she believes.
While (and this may be a long time) she believes this she is of no use to the new CD. You could no more have a HEALHTY relationship with her than say ...
A large wooden badger. Actually the wooden badger is better than her right now.
Originally Posted By: CD
While she is here I will ask if this new address is her "permanent" address so her mail can be forwarded.
Don't ask. Tell her you will forward her mail there. Not your business. Hers. Ask her what she wants you to do with the rest of the stuff.
Subtle difference but a good one. She will see questions as prying.
Which of course...
They are.
You are on the right track my friend. The emotion behind the situation will diminish over time.
Don't worry. Until then just control it in front of her.
You got this. Keep steppin'
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
