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newmama #2094338 10/23/10 08:34 PM
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Gatsby, thanks for stopping by! I would prefer he didn't try to talk to me but don't know how to deal with this and don't really think ANYONE knows. Like I read on another thread, KerryK mentioned that there are self help books written out there by people who are sharing a perspective or viewpoint, but we live our own lives and have our own codes.

hahaha! I don't know!


me,34
exH,34
S,16 months
S:3/31/09-left for OW
started DBing 10/09
d final: sometime 10/10
current:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1
met in 2004

newmama #2094353 10/23/10 09:03 PM
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Originally Posted By: newmama
You know, I am getting a little annoyed with this super slow email exchange between City Guy and I.

Dont rush it grasshopper.

Time is relative.

I've been chatting and cooresponding with a nice lady who works just a few blocks from me since July 2009. I may ask her out again as I think she is at a new stage in life.

It is hard to get the stars to line up. When the moment is right, it will happen.

Learn to enjoy things on your own much more. Then there is not chance of codependency that can cause one to choose badly.

newmama #2094363 10/23/10 09:33 PM
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Originally Posted By: newmama
You know, I am getting a little annoyed with this super slow email exchange between City Guy and I.

I think I was wrong- if was "into" me, he would be emailing at a faster rate, don't you think?

So, last time I heard from him was 4 nights ago when he asked me what my big dreams were. I repied on Wed, three nights ago.
He may be "into you" but juggling other women -- fair enough right? It's a dating site. Plus, as I wrote before, he hasn't seen your IRL awesomeness yet. He doesn't know if he's into you or not. I wouldn't suggest putting him on the spot about wanting to see one another. I was determined to make Guitarist make the first move, so when he talked wanting to meet and exchanged email addresses but then I didn't hear from him for a week (!!), I was very discouraged. But I couldn't get him him out of my head, so I sent that "nudging email", which prompted him to ask me out. I would suggest waiting until a week has passed and sending a "one last chance" nudging email if you're still interested. I think my nudging email was more flirty/an invitation than a "so what's the deal, do ya wanna go out or not" email would have been. It expressed my interest but it still put the ball in his court and left space for him to initiate the next move.


me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4
current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp
.: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
flowmom #2094367 10/23/10 09:45 PM
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Yeah, that's the trick with the dating sites. I can't totally control whether I'm talking with no women, or maybe four. I really prefer one at a time, but I also don't want to pass up on chances to meet interesting people. Once I have been on two dates with one person, and intend to continue, I'll shut down the others. I don't like the juggling act aspects, but I don't know how to avoid it.

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well I haven't even received a wink now from match for over 8 days! Maybe because I haven't signed in? City guy gave me an alternate email so I have been corresponding with him through that email since last weekend. Maybe if my "activity" report says "hasn't been on in 7 days" that could deter people? I know, I could be fishing and I do that as you know. BUt am not feeling super enthused!

Tonight it is stormy, I am exhausted and skipped out on a meetup where we would be dressed up and go dancing. NOT feeling like it- and I feel good about my decision! I talked to a friend on the phone and caught up on "Teach" with Tony Danza on A&E (HIGHLY recommend it for nonteachers and teachers alike)

This a.m. I took S to a science museum and we haven't been since he learned to walk! So he had lots of fun. I can't wait until this time next year when we can engage in even more exhibits.

ExH came to get him just as we entered the house (I was running a tad late). I had to change his clothes because he was soaked from spilling his drink all over him. So we had a few minutes of "chit chat." I explained how we just got back from that place and that he was actually not into the sand pit part, which surprised me because he loved the sand at the beach this summer.

ExH said "you went to the beach this summer?" WTF?!? idiot! Ummm yeah, twice and once was for an extended weekend with my friends- I KNOW I told him about both times and made a point to mention how he played in the sand! Did he totally blank that out or was he just playing dumb? I don't know.

He also warned me about the storm tonight and told me he would be able to rake up some leaves. Same old, same old... shouldn't things be different now that we are officially divorced? Don't misunderstand waht I am saying.


me,34
exH,34
S,16 months
S:3/31/09-left for OW
started DBing 10/09
d final: sometime 10/10
current:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1
met in 2004

newmama #2094479 10/24/10 06:16 AM
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Thanks for the opinions about City Guy. I guess I will "see" if he replies! But you're right, Kerry- what's the rush, really? Timing is the whole story. I guess the best thing is to get busy with my life (no problem) and not think about it.

Why couldn't I be born "asexual?" smile


me,34
exH,34
S,16 months
S:3/31/09-left for OW
started DBing 10/09
d final: sometime 10/10
current:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1
met in 2004

newmama #2094481 10/24/10 06:22 AM
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wow, they have shortened the time to edit! I swear, in the past I had 5 minutes and now it is a minute or less?

What I wanted to clarify is that I am NOT reading into exH's talking points to mean anything! I am just saying that he really hasn't altered his talking points much this whole time so WTF (yes I think saying F is warranted) did he postpone the D this whooooole time when he is just playing status quo? Do you get what I mean? What a selfish, stupid, idiot a hole!!!
WHy can't he be cold, or just business, or just say the word DIVORCE and not refer to it as "paperwork?" honestly!

(I have not reported our conversations verbatim--no mention of relationship talk or anything! I am just reporting the basics of the convos)


me,34
exH,34
S,16 months
S:3/31/09-left for OW
started DBing 10/09
d final: sometime 10/10
current:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1
met in 2004

newmama #2094483 10/24/10 06:24 AM
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newmama Offline OP
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and I am not regaining the weight I have lost but damn, french toast with syrup bacon and scrambled eggs sound reeeeally good! smile smile
Or a man covered in syrup would be better!
I mean a man I found attractive-- we wouldn't have to talk!


me,34
exH,34
S,16 months
S:3/31/09-left for OW
started DBing 10/09
d final: sometime 10/10
current:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1
met in 2004

newmama #2094492 10/24/10 07:21 AM
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Uh Oh! This thread is starting to turn to cannibilism talk. Not good.

The science museum...

It starts with an O and ends with an I and is an anacronym.

The first date with my future wife was there. The first exhibit we saw together was the stages of the fetus. I remember thinking to myself... "You want that? I can give it to you." I had no idea that I would marry her about 3 weeks later in Vegas.

smith18 #2094567 10/24/10 03:00 PM
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newmama Offline OP
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I remember looking at the fetuses and thinking "wow, those were real, live fetuses and babies. They died for some reason or another and their lives were donated to science. Is it necessary to really look at a live one or can we just look fake ones that have lots of carefully crafted details?"


me,34
exH,34
S,16 months
S:3/31/09-left for OW
started DBing 10/09
d final: sometime 10/10
current:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1
met in 2004

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