Check the laws in your state regarding loans...some states that are community property states...unless you have a LEGAL seperation you are equally responsible for all debts aquired by either of you...meaning that just because he did it without you (or as in my case, without my even knowing) does not excuse you from the debt collectors...
A LEGAL seperation will protect you...if your state has that, if not I would contact an attorney asap and stop him from buying the car if you can...unless of course you want a new car down the road?
I haven't been around much because one of my best friends and my rock when my H went through his MLC just told me over a week ago that her H walked out...they have 3 boys...I have been helping her
I think I have to file today because my h is getting into a lot of debt and there is no other way to protect me and my sons future in my state. Any suggestions? I am so sad that i have to do this but have no choice. Advice would be greatly appreciated. my appt is at 430pm today.
Do what you need to do to protect yourself and your son.
Good luck
Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
They dont have legal separation in my state or I would. The only way to protect lawyer said is file for D. I am so upset over this. I dont know if I shoud do it or not. I dont want to but Im afraid im going ot lose my house becuase of his debt.
Okay, so you have to file D? Do it. It can sit and grow mold on a shelf unless someone pushes, and I assume you are not going to do that, right?
In my state, people often, married or not, put ads in the classifieds of the local papers saying " I_______________an responsible for any debt made other than by myself. Somehow, this seems to protect them to some extint.
First you need to calm down. It this panic fearful state you will be more incline to react in fear, which will do you no good.
1) You will be fine no matter what. YOU need to believe this. I can't believe it for you.
2) You will live. This will not kill you nor will it kill your son. Will is suck? Yes BUT only if you allow it to.
3) Now is the time for you to think about YOU. That is not selfish - it is reality.
4) If you are concerned that you may loose your house then file for the D.
As Punkin said a divorce usually takes some time. It is not like you will walk into court and get a quickie divorce. So time is on your side.
Look rysmom - you are scared and that is understandable. In order for you to make it through this you will need to face YOUR fears. Look those fu*kers right in the eye and face them.
A divorce, if it comes to that is NOT the end. It can be the begining BUT only if you allow it to.
Stay strong and do what you must to protect yourself.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
thanks for your reply. I am really undecided what to do. we have two houses one is paid off and the other one I owe 200,000 on. I was thinking maybe I could file for d but not have him served the papers yet he would not know I had filed. I dont think I would be responsible for any debt he incurs after today if I do that. My lawyer keeps pushing for d and I don't like that.
Lack of control will make you second quess your every move
Rysmom, What do you want really? What do you hope to gain in your life. Who is Rysmom? Who is she when the going get tough, when the H is a fu*king as*hole, who is this person. Find that and everything that you are worried about, all the questions you have will be answered.
Maybe this is not the answer you wanted. I can sit here and tell you what I would do but fu*k that's me NOT YOU.
So what do YOU really want Rysmom...oh...and that YOU can control.
Quote:
My lawyer keeps pushing for d and I don't like that.
Do they work for you or you for them?
Also, I do not believe that you can file AND not have him served. Your L should be able to advice.
One last point...you are trying to control this sitch and you do not want your life to change. This is killing you and driving you crazy. I hate to say, your life has already changed and will change again in the future. It is after all the natrual progression of life. Change happens. How we deal with it is what is really important. Fight it and you create stress and havoc in your life. Go with it...well then you may start to deal with it.
It is easier to swim against the current or with it?
Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
I have been doing really well GAL but can't have true peace of mind worrying about my financial future. But then again the thought of h marrying ow would kill me too. They were looking at wedding rings a month ago. I know i have to put things in gods hands but worry about money especially in this economy.
