My dear LB husband has "accused" me of being a WAW. What we have here is an abusive marriage; one where the LB husband lives in his reality and the WAW (that's me I suppose) lives in REALITY.
I love my husband and I worked hard in counseling and read every marriage book and YES, the BIBLE as well, and PRAYED for the end of the verbal, emotional and spiritual abuse that my LB husband is totally unaware of. He thinks that I have "made it up". I have only been trying to reach him for over 3 years with my own writings which he did not have the respect to read.
What does a WAW wife need to hear or be allowed to say when her abusiver husband refuses to acknowledge responsibilty for this LBs?
M -12 Years 1 9 y son (w/me) S-Nov 2009 (and LOVING it; will NEVER go back!) D-soon
thanks Lotus, I do have some abuse on tape from 2004 but mostly I have emails; a paper trails that shows all his promises to change as well as his myriad of excuses as well as documented mind bending manipulation.Problem is (actually not);I have already separated from him 9 months ago...(yes, R; I am talking about us---he refered me to this site by "lovingly" sending me the WAW syndrome article but managed to DELETE the paragraph on HIS responsibility in marriage and WHY I am justifying to NOT wanting to be with him.)ALL the counseling and the "last attempt" was made and he showed his true colors to my Pastor. I am not contacting him apart from writing on this forum as he accused me of being a WAW and that I abandoned him.
I say all this to say ****Dear hubby; I don't want to live with your constant criticizing and verbally and spiritually manipulative ways any more.
You have NOT proved that you love me, you HAVE PROVED that you are arrogant and prideful and DO NOT respect me. I will not talk with you; counsel with you; I am CLOSED UP emotionally (I told you this a YEAR ago and that THIS position would NOT be good for our marriage; but you FAILED to hear or be concerned with anything I said to you...again_...
and in case you are reading this(to jusitfy your behavior and attitude) to get an idea of what kind of rebellious christian women are out there...
HEAR THIS...this one WAS yours. Goodbye.****
Last edited by freespirit; 09/04/1012:47 PM.
M -12 Years 1 9 y son (w/me) S-Nov 2009 (and LOVING it; will NEVER go back!) D-soon
Well, I wish my WAW had given me written notice, I had been asking her to go to couseling for a year, then one day out of the blue she tells me we have an appt with a couselor of her choosing...Then 2 visits one month and one fight where I spent the night at my moms...poof...we have only been married 2.5 yrs. I have not had nay reall communication from her in a month...I have only contacted her once a week for 4 weeks...and I plan to discontinue that...My wife is right, I have suffered pride and arrogance, and have admitted this to her by written email...she apparently has not filed, refuses to answer her phone, or reply to emails in any meaningful way...she sent me one about her phone being broken after the first thursday I did not call her, so apparently she is sorry she missed the opportunity to intentionally blow me off...most advice I have recieved says...stay away, no contact, let her reach out to me...that is where I am now...I forgive my wife the damage of renting a luxury apartmetn, leaving me like a thief in the night. Having her family come to our home and take all the things she wanted while I was at work, and then again while I was at church...I understand I have failed to make her feel cherished and loved, I have as the bible tells us failed to 'love' her as my own body...I have been rude and quick tempered with her...I have not cheated, nor abused her, and she currently is my wife, and I will begin to rebuild trust as I can by giving her the 'space' she needs...I will try to resist the urge to file to force her to make a decision, but I dont know how long I can live like this...going insane wanting to see her, talk to her, be with her...to know we have a future, its not a trick...It the same way I felt before...I think we both had too much going on in our lives, and forgot to speak the languages of love to each other...thats why I wanted to go to counseling...but as I said, not her priority until it was 'too late'...anyway I could go on, but I think thats a basic picture...any thoughts are appreciated. Thanks V
