Good to hear from you Gardener! I didn't know you'd sold the house, I must have missed something somewhere. It's a big step and involves a lot of emotion. It's amazing how just when we think "I'm good" some emotion just jumps up again and bites us in the butt! Update us soon.
After many weeks of lurking and following along, a long overdue update:
I have been very busy with finishing my season, closing down my business and preparing for the closing and my move on 11/19.
In tackling the task of emptying this old house, I was struck more and more by the fact that for the most part it's all just "stuff." So I am leaving with my clothes, books, music, artwork and a few treasures I've had since before my marriage.
I have enough memories of both the joy of seventeen years and the heartache of betrayal without clinging to tangible reminders of them. So, with craigslist, ebay and charities I've gotten rid of everything else.
Saturday, I purified the house, burning White Sage in each room, recalling love, joy and family and thanking this wonderful old house for all it's given and cleansing the pain of these past two years.
Two years. Tuesday will be two years since The Bomb. Seems like five or six. Feels like yesterday. Hell and back.
In many ways I am a different person than I was seventeen months ago when I was blessed by finding this site, this glimmer of hope, and all of you. In all the important ways I'm still the same person, too. Perhaps moreso.
I can't begin to articulate how deeply grateful I am for all of you: your support, love, sympathy, concern and love. And while I risk the crime of omission, off the top of my head I thank Givingitmyall, Mac-Ct, Awoken, Hoosiermama, Spybunny, Serenity13, Coach, newmama, iwantittowork, ImprovedRomeo, flowmom, Antlers, Coach, PuppyDogTails, Greek, Buffet, LostRabbit, Avermont, LolaL, ClingingtoHope, Luvless, C-Bart, KimmieLee, Mrs.A., Gnosis, whatisis, Sandi2, RockedHerWorld, Dia, Golfgirl1, citygirl, poet, Virtually Handsome, SP, Findingmyvoice, DonnaFound, (and everyone I'm forgetting) for being the good, decent, giving, noble people you all are.
You all saved me.
I'm off to Colorado on the 19th to stay with S,34 through the holidays and then hitting the road for a bit to check out a few places in which I'm considering living and starting - writing - my next chapter.
I'll still lurk and pop up from time to time and see you in the .alt as well.
Peace,
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
