In my H's case, the "awakening" came after he'd been in Replay for almost 2 years. ............. some days he'd feel as though he wanted to get closer to me and end the EA, and other days the fogged-out part of his brain would be in control ("What exactly is wrong with my friendship anyway?"). ............After this Awakening he broke up with his EA, which precipitated a deep depression and withdrawal from me and the children. .................He cycled more and more rapidly, sometimes starting to walk towards me for a hug and changing his mind before he had taken 3 steps............... Very, very slowly, he began to become more human and less alien, though it was about 7 1/2 months from the awakening until he decided to work on our marriage and end the EA. Even then, it was another 7 months until he stopped mourning her loss in his life, and another half a year or more before he was able to process what he'd done and accept responsibility for it--and, more importantly, to forgive himself.
Cyrena, thank you for sharing your story with us. I have read many of your posts over the past 2 years. This overview of your experience helps to put a "face" on the vague descriptions of MLC stages and timelines we've all read. Thank you!
I too would be interested in hearing others' experiences with the "Awakening" transition.
Cadet, thanks for posting this link. It is a good post and reading it again helped me this evening. THanks!
I'm curious. Have you ever found posts from "Never Give Up" (the person that Snodderly references)? Those old posts can be very hard to find. I'd love to read NGU's posts if anyone knows where I can find them.
Yesterday would have been our 25th Anniversary. Received the following e-mail from XW yesterday morning.
<Begin XW e-mail>
Subject: Today I celebrate yo and our family
Dear Ken,
I celebrate today. Twenty-five years ago we officially began our family. I learned a lot from you as we grew up together and I couldn't be more proud of our three children and the life we built together for them.
I hope you are well and I look forward to a time when we can meet for lunch or dinner and catch up.
Have a great day, Ken.
Sincerely, XW
<End of e-mail>
Any ideas on how to interpret this? All I can say is WTF! The use of the word "celebrate" is what really kills me!
Comments welcome!
Me48 WAW46 M24 yrs S24 D21 D19 EA disc 6/09 2nd EA Fall 09 I move out 11/12/09 W and I switch 1/14/10 D Filed 3/17/10 W moves in with OM 6/8/10 D Final 6/21/10
It means she was thinking about you. That's pretty much it. You must remember, MLC=confusion. They don't make sense and trying to make sense of their statements is a sure fire way to end up in the loony bin (do they even have those anymore?). You can take comfort in knowing she WAS aware of the date and its significance. But reading anything more into it (even the admittedly odd use of the word celebrate) is not worth it.
"Love me when I least deserve it, for that is when I need it the most"
M18 Me39,H42 D16 Bomb 1/10 Moved out 3/10 OW 6/10 H wants to R,OW gone 11/10 H moves back 5/11 H wants to wear rings again 9/11
She is testing the waters so to speak to see where you are.
Just like a child she wants you to be "not too close and not too far away".
Continue to treat her as a friend. Assuming you want to keep the door open. Once the MLC'er knows that the door is shut then they may go on with their life and not look back.
Since I have not been really following along on newcomers is this the only contact she has had with you since August?
You were asking about reconnection. Just understand that this a painfully slowwwwwwwwwww process.
