This may not be helpful now but I'm wondering why you didn't just say from the start "if she goes to private school I'm not paying a dime" and stick to it. Now, legally I don't know where you stand but I wonder did you signed anything like admittance papers etc? If so, that in my mind would be considered consent. If you have already paid some of the fees that too may be considered consent. What's your lawyer say?
Wii, I wish I could go into the details here. Besides, I'm over it for now.
Hey look something shiny! I'll be back later.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
In my case I let my son continue in private school as I decided for various reasons it was in his best interest not to disturb him. I have to pay the entire fees though as the opposition party refused and even fought me on it but I still believe the sacrifice was the right thing to do for my boy. (As an aside the problem I have with Child Support is that it is not accounted for - I would like to see actual receipts and for it not not to be tax free for the recipient - this seems to be a fair way to ensure that its used for necessary expenses for the children.)
fb2, that thought has crossed my mind i.e. how much I pay in child support actually goes towards my daughter.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
So some more interactions with STBXW. This time I happened to find out that she's signed up for the dependant care flex account through her work without telling me. Since last year (she was out of work) I'd maxed out that account since I paid for all of the child care (far exceeding what's allowed). Of course when she suddenly moved out in March of this year and then subsequently got this low paying job in Apr she didn't bother to tell me she did this. Even if she did it was too late for me to make a change as separation is not a qualifying event.
Now she says:
"I didn't realize that you maxed out your fsa and I do have the dependant fsa too. I figured that we would obviously be filing separately this year?"
Well you should've asked me about the fsa before you signed up for yours. And I don't think the filing status matters here. Two people can't claim the same dependant and two people can't take the fsa credit for the same dependant for the max amount. So other than telling her TOUGH! I'm not sure what to do. I make a lot more than her and I'm paying child support etc so I feel I should be the one to take these tax benefits.
How are you guys handling this?
Last edited by ImprovedRomeo; 09/14/1003:44 AM.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
what- you mean your lawyer didn't help you arrange for this?
All I know is that until our divorce is finalized, we file jointly.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
No we haven't discussed any of this yet. We just have a basic separation agreement in place which was done so she could get her support payments and to get DD's schedule hashed out.
It seems to me regardless of how we file for the taxes only one person gets these benefits, you can't use the same dependant and get the benefits twice. It has to do with the custodian parent which IRS defines as someone that keeps the child more than the other parent- which is difficult isn't easy to determine in a 50/50 custody scenario. At least that's how I understand it.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
I know even though I am the residential parent, we have to "divide" the kids on our taxes and then we rotate the pair because of their ages. I know crazy!
So perhaps one year you get to claim her on your taxes and the next year she does. I am not sure how that would work on your FSA...perhaps the same. Have you spoken with your L or even the HR department at work?
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Hey- well, I haven't "handled it" yet, but you're right, only one person can file the dependent. Sometimes people trade years, but to be fair, if it's 50/50, the person who could benefit more from it (like if she got a different tax break for something else, she could let you have this one, etc) should get it, via negotiation. You're right, you can't "split" it.
My CPA told me that unless you've been D'd this year (there are some nuances- check with a tax person- I am not sure for how long during the year you must NOT have been D'd or by when you'd have to have filed for D in the year to file separately), you still file together this year, then would file separately next year- at least that's our sitch.
When the men on the chessboard Get up and tell you where to go; And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving slow; Go ask Alice... I think she'll know.
