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Awoken,

I don't know you and I don't really know your story but I am sending you my hugs and best wishes.

I think it is normal to have that lack of emotion at the end of it all b/c you have been through so much. You get to a point where you are just going through the motions and you become numb to everything around you. I know that is where I am right now.

You know that it will only get better from here and if you want to meet someone who loves you unconditionally and gives you the respect you deserve it will happen. There is someone out there for you. Or this may not be what you want. This may be the being of your journey to find yourself and figure out who you are as an individual. In any case there are sunny skies ahead for you. You have been through the storm and now you get to relax in the sun.

The road forward will not be straight, as I am sure you know. There are going to be lots of bumps along the way and you will get knocked down but in the end you will get up and you will be further ahead by the end of it all. It doesn't make it easier to know this but it does make it less surprising when it happens.

You never know what your ex will do eventually. Perhaps one day she will tell you the information you need to know. She may tell you and let you understand why your marriage didn't work and she may get to a point where she can answer your questions.

I strongly believe that when my marriage is completely over and he is out of my life that he will come back one day and tell me it was the biggest mistake that he ever made. I hope that he will finally one day admit to me that it wasn't me that made him unhappy but that he was unhappy with himself and he just put all the blame on me. I have to hold onto the hope that oneday he will come to this realization.

I don't think at this point that I will ever go back to him b/c what he has done is so damaging and I think now I am in one of those marriages that can't be DB'd. If you want to feel better about yourself read my story....I truly believe that it can't get any worse than what I have been through....it is so bad that I almost have to laugh about it now!!!

Anyway my thoughts and prayers are with you.

BG


M=42
H=51
Common-law 6yr
Children: 11yr old daughter (previous marrIage) 6yr old son
Bomb dropped January 2013
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Originally Posted By: Sister
He's having a tough time. My name tells you - I'm the sister he's reconnected with. I'm hoping some of you can find him in the .alt and help him out. I just don't have the same experience/perspective that you have to help him through this.

I think this place is a little too depressing for him right now, so maybe off site he will respond better. I'm hoping...

bump

Hi again sister, sorry to see that so many of his old friends here, weren't around today - flowmom, Serenity, luvless, 12bar, r22 (how kind of BG to post though!) - hopefully someone's caught him on the alt.

I'm just getting ready to leave work for the day, but I'll bump the thread up again in the morning; maybe others here can help with the same, or leave a positive, supportive message here for him ... Take care. PG.

PS - oh! 12bar was by my thread last night; I'll leave a message there for him too; maybe he'll be by again tonight and see it.


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Kevin,
I hear you're having a bad time right now. I understand. I also hear you're staying away from these boards a bit because they can be depressing at times. You're right, they are at times. (so many good, decent people in deep pain) I take a break every now and then, myself (just did, as a matter of fact).

When you and I met at your NYC gig, We clicked (even though we both agreed I monopolized the conversation! blush ) I have your cd. I listen to it often because it is good, you are talented and I always think when listening, "hey I know that guy!"

The hardest part is the kids. I know. I went through it once when my sons were 14 and 11. And today, when my stepkids who I was devoted to for almost twenty years have shut me out.

My sons shut me out for a while the first time. X kept telling me, "they'll be back." They came back. Why? Because full-time, pre-D and part time post D, I was the best d@mned Dad I could be. In challenging moments, I would take a deep breath and tell myself two things: 1) "You are not raising two children; you are raising two men." 2) "What kind of relationship do you want to have with them years from now when they are men?" Act accordingly."

Today, my two sons, 31 and 34 are the two closest relationships in my life.

It works out.
Trust me.

Just looked at my cell phone and saw that I do have your number from that night in NYC . I will call you early tomorrow evening.

Peace,


Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac


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Hey Awoken

Just wanted to say that I know this is a really hard time you are going through but a lot of folks here have you in their prayers. You are moving through a very tough spot in your life but you will move through it and come out the other side as a happy person and a great father. You will always know that you did right by your values and your children to fight hard for your M.

I have been away from the boards since April because it can become depressing to be here. Take the time to heal and come back and update whenever you are ready. You are strong and you will make it through this.

Take Care - 12


Me:41
W: 35
Married: 6
Together: 15
Bomb: 08/09
Currently: Investing in me!

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again, I return to the boards, and I'm touched by the wellspring of support here. Thank you to everyone. I'm not sure why I haven't been checking in, except that I've just felt overwhelmed.

I did receive some very meaningful support in the .alt.

I think I'm ready to regroup; and get back to the work I need to do. I'll be back and post more when I have time. I'm finding that I'm missing our community here. This is really a very special place.


M:42|W:40|D:17|S:13|Bomb:10/23/09
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Hi Awoken, glad to see you're feeling more on top of things, and got the support you needed. Take care.


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(((((Awoken)))))))

you are a good man. there is a lucky girl out there.....


M44 H41
M20 T23
3 older teens
Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy"
EA Nov 09 w/coworker
Another PA in Mar 10
I Filed Apr 10
D final Dec 10
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