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My courthouse has a family center - you might want to check at yours and see if they have a recommendation (they work with D lawyers all the time).

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Just a different perspective on meds. I took Lexapro (made my heart race) and Klonopin (difficult to come off of) and I would never take ether again. I also took Ambien and Lunesta to sleep. All of these meds have extreme side effects and you might have to take them for life because your body becomes dependent on them. I went to see a Naturopath who helped me, however it is not quick and not easy. That being said, I made it out and feel really good these days. I do yoga, eat well and take time to breathe and be with myself.

What's wrong with feeling? I had days where I didn't get off the floor because the grief was so bad. That said, I think it helped move my recovery along at a faster rate. Eventually you have to feel or you're just pushing it down further inside of you.

Just my opinion....good luck!


Me 55
H 49
Married 21 years
No kids
bomb 5/09
filed 7/09
divorced and moving forward 5/10

Life is all about Plan B
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I think with AD's (unfortunately) sometimes there is some "trial and error". I have been on Lexapro for 16 months and honestly, it saved my life. My anxiety had reached a point where I was pacing around my house, for sometimes 12 hours a day, trying to ward off panic attacks due to stress from my divorce. In fact, I was diagnosed with a situational panic disorder and hospitalized. I was under 100 pounds, my hair was falling out in clumps and my lupus was spinning out of control. I was scared to death to take any sort of meds but really, had I not I am not sure if I would still be standing right now. Of course, once the meds helped me become balanced everything I was learning in C'ing made sense!

I have never had one bad side effect from Lexapro but I know other people have.

Klonopin is not an AD and should NEVER be used as one. It is not a "fool around" kind of drug and is VERY powerful. I took it for some time and I agree, it's not easy to get off of. Most people dont know that Xanax (the wonder drug that so many people love) is highly addictive and it takes only 14 days to develop the addiction. My psych calls Xanax "the devil drug" and he won't prescribe it or take you on as a patient until you are "Xanax free".

I certainly respect anybody who has strong feelings against AD's (I used to be one of them) but for me, they saved my life. It is scary to start taking them!

You will make the right decision but IMO it's not a bad option to at least examine if you really are having a very hard time!

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AD's don't keep you from feeling, they allow you to manage your feelings. Lexapro also saved me, but I'd been on Zoloft before and that made me feel like I was dead. I communicated with my physician, and he told me that wasn't supposed to be the effect and he switched me to Lexapro.

I've also been prescribed Xanax in the past because of panic attacks. I agree that those meds are nothing to mess with unless you are careful about how you use them. For me, the only time I took them was when I had a panic attack, and that was a lifesaver. It was NOT for depression in any way, shape, or form!

When I started ADs, my goal was always to get off of them, therefore I did the work in therapy to get to that place. One important thing to note is that once you've had a bout of depression you are more likely to have another, and with each episode it becomes more and more likely it will happen again. It is a chemical reaction in your brain, and the body gets used to those chemicals. Therefore, doing therapy and getting "undepressed" as quickly as possible is important.

Consider all of your options, then pick what's best for you.

SD


Me: 40
H: 43
H had EA from 2/06-9/06
Bomb 5/06
Piecing since 9/2006
3/2008: Boundary setting
7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb.
8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
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I agree 100% - the "work" of C'ing must go with the AD's. My psych is very strict and won't take on any patient that will not sign a contract that states the following:

you will follow his med orders exactly
you will create a support system
C'ing (in his office)
spiritual belief of some sort

Any drug is very serious and I was scared to death to take them but I am glad I did. My health was very, very grave and had reached a point of danger.

But I know it's scary. I have found my dr. to be wonderful about listening and understanding my fears about medication. It's always good to know all the options!

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Great advice, everyone.

We shall see about the AD's...

Called my landlord this morning to tell him I will be moving out. I called L's receptionist and she's supposed to let me know if he can meet w/ me later today. I wonder if I can add a clause saying H has to pay for all of our legal fees for the D? I doubt it's possible but it's worth it to try. Seems everything is going his way swimmingly. I'm trying not to be bitter but feel like the world is constantly working in his favor while mine has crumbled.

Grr.


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Question: I am really tempted to delete all of STBX's texts from my phone for the past year. Should I do this or not?
Should I wait til after D?

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I would suggest forwarding them to an e-mail account- they can be safely stored there in the event you need them during the D without taking up space in your phone and you don't need see them everyday.

Do you have a good L picked out now, or are you still looking?

Hugs, Bunny


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S/19,D/17
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Soleil, most lawyers should give you a 30min-1hr free consulting session. Call them up instead of driving all over the place. CG has good advice- talk to every good L about taking your case because that will block him from using those Ls. Of course, you don't have to go with them.

Texts...depends what kind of texts, if there's anything that could be used in court then yes keep them. If they're 'hey baby, what's for dinner tonight?' then sure delete them.


Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6
Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks
Aug 2006, left again
Apr 2007, filed for divorce
Dec 2007, reunited
Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
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If your state is "no fault," text messages won't matter. If it is, delete them. Start erasing him from your life. If it's not, keep them as evidence.


When you are happy as an individual, you are in a better position to determine whether a partner enhances your happy life or weighs it down.
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