no it doesnt have to be logical it doesnt even make sense sometimes. a feeling that can exist without trust, through hurt and the most awful memories, that would make us go to extremes, sacrifice our dignity and question our own self-worth, to share with another individual. and yet we cannot clearly define it.
then to the other extreme, one who could love somebody, fall "in love" with someone else, and continue to love the first. love is not necessarily exclusive then is it? can we accept that?
I am not self-righteous, I may not even be virtuous in others eyes, but I have asked that question of myself on many occasions. And still I love my wife and still I am by her side... till death do us part
Maybe questioning why you still love someone while reading about divorces isn't that great of an idea...
I just finished this whole thread - hugs to you QS
I'm sorry you are going through this. I had a PI give me a lovely package of my husband out with a coworker who he had professed his love to. I know how you feel to see what you are seeing and feel the disgust.
Listen to these guys - they are giving you great advice. Stay strong!
Luv
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
But should I message HIM and let him know that I know EVERYTHING, and tell him how uncompassionate he is being. Just let him know that what he is doing is so wrong.
Quote:
In their Effed up mind, they think this isn't adultery.. They think that because there is no penetration, it's not an affair.. it's such BS. it makes me sick!
Well her reasoning is that she was done with the marriage BEFORE she ever had an affair, and that she "just went someplace else to find what she needed, and that it could have been me because she always came to me FIRST"..
Personally me?!? Yes I would call him out on it. I don't believe in keeping an A secret or not contacting the OP and exposing that you know. I mean,who knows, He may be mortified and embarrassd by it that maybe he won't want to have anything to do with her. She will be left all alone. That should be a nice wake up call.
I believe that a's thrive on secrecy. Once you take that away, there isn't as much thrill anymore.
BUT you have to stick to your guns and follow through.
I know others won't agree with this.
He professed his love to her "bachelorette style"?
1. Get yourself looking your hottest 2. Whisper in her ear how you want to do A..B..C.. and record it 3. Lick her ear...tell her you'll be waiting for her to make the next move 4. Wait.
If she comes to you, she really wanted you in the first place. Have the best mindblowing sex you can.
Then, tell her you want her to end her online chats so the two of you can heat up your house (don't call them affairs because she probably doesn't see it as such).
Buy acting this way, your wife knows you won't live the next 20 years in blame. She knows you want to meet her needs in new ways. She knows she can tell you anything.
That is the sex 180.
Why do I suggest this approach? I've had probs with internet porn myself, and was referred as addicted to it. I've been careful to not get into chats, but I know how powerful it could've been if I did. The last thing you/she needs is to make this an attack just now.
If she doesn't respond. If she doesn't take any steps, maybe it is time for a sex counsellor.
Why treat the symptom (her usage) instead of the disease (something in her, not you, that is controlling your relationship right now...plus the devil!)
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
Why do I suggest this approach? I've had probs with internet porn myself, and was referred as addicted to it. I've been careful to not get into chats, but I know how powerful it could've been if I did. The last thing you/she needs is to make this an attack just now.
Let's be honest here OTMT- you are a porn addict and getting treatment at a facilty, right? According to your older posts. I am getting a little frustrated with some of your posts- I feel like is's some sort of sexual fantasy for you... This and the post on Brown Eye's thread... C'mon here- both Allen and City Girl had spoken out about your comments..... these are serious situations- you suggestions are almost insulting!
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
