Dear all-

This may be my last post here.

Thank goodness 2010 is finally over.

I had a bit of a breakthru before Xmas.

As short as possible:

Drove away from an app't with acupuncturist/friend cause X's car was there. (same office building)

Was all set to cry/drive. Then my sis called, all terribly upset about troubles with her SO GF. Parked, talked to her for an hour, spouting off all the wisdom you all have given me.

Continued to drive home. Felt a physical shift inside my chest. Sort of calm, peaceful.

Got home. Got a card from XFIL--meant the world to me.

Did a favor for a guy I dated in the summer.

And somehow--all those karmic things--made an internal shift.

I have been able to meditate every day since.

I have cried less often. When I do cry, I am able to feel--or at least think--compassion for myself.

The pain comes short and sharp. But I breathe thru it now, and console myself like a friend would--rather than beating myself up.

I can talk with LFA, Kel Rocked, Gardener, Mindful, and all my other wonderful DB friends on FB now, so I think I will spend more time there than here.

I can't say thanks enough for the love and support I have gotten here. (I'm crying now!). I wouldn't be here today if not for all of you.

The pain, sorrow, love, and support here are beyond measure. Surely the powers of the universe will bring peace and love to all who have held and helped each other here, all who have wept and offered comfort to others despite their own pain.

Blessings, love and peace to all.

Allison


Me: 44
Him: 42
Together: 23 years; never married
Bomb: August 1, 2009
Affair since May 2009
Walk away; no conversation; no process