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Thinker,

She doesn't see it as giving up the fun with the kids. I do alot of coaching of sports with them. She has never had much interest in sports. She is trying to get her realestates license. (she has failed the class and has to take it again) Most of that work is done on the weekends. She really doesn't get that is when most of the quality time happens.

As far as the camping trip: My wife is taking our 3 sons to italy in August. i could try and stop it. I don't really trust her right now in her state of mind. She is going with her parents. i spoke with my lawyer and she said you would lose. Camping won't do anything, she can't stop it and a judge would laugh her out of the courtroom....


Remarried 6 mo
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S 16
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SS 19
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I'm in the car headed out on the camping trip - all 3 boys in the back.


Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2
M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08
Walking away from a bad situation.

My Sitch

Strength and Compassion
No Resentment
Thinker #2027224 06/25/10 11:15 PM
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Originally Posted By: Thinker
Yes, she is, and since threatening to D me no longer works, she has switched to using her L as the threat.

It's like she has latched onto her L as a protective parent figure who can make it all better.

...doesn't bode well for our future coparenting relationship.


Mine did the same thing. Whenever things didn't go the way she wanted them to, she always threatened me with her lawyer. She drew him like a gun!

I finally started telling her to take her threats and shove em'!


"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
antlers #2027326 06/26/10 02:53 AM
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Been there.

This phase is pretty rough, things can smooth out afterwards.

NoLongerHere #2028118 06/28/10 02:06 AM
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Back from the camping trip - safe and sound and a good time was had by all.

I am, however, unfortunately starting to see the influence she has on the boys. The older one takes responsibility for her emotions, and the younger one tries to tell her what he thinks she wants to hear.

On the way out of town, S7 asks me "Why are we taking S2?" When I answered "Because I want him to come" he responds "But it is making Mommy sad, so you should have left him at home"

On the way back from the trip I overhear S5 on the phone with her. He said "S2 was unhappy all the time and he kept getting hurt" - a complete fabrication on both parts (S2 did bump his head on the picnic table once, fall while running, etc - but no more than a normal 2-year old gets hurt during a weekend of playing hard - and he was happy and smiling through the whole weekend). I called him on it - loud enough that she could hear me through the phone, but It frightens me that he thinks this is what she wants to hear and is willing to say it.

This is how things get fabricated and used against you...


Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2
M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08
Walking away from a bad situation.

My Sitch

Strength and Compassion
No Resentment
Thinker #2050860 08/05/10 12:27 AM
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Thinker, you ok?

theroadback #2054978 08/12/10 02:18 AM
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Hi All,

Wow, has it been a long time since I've been on here. In the meantime, life has been great (with a few tough moments such as when we told the kids).

STBX Mrs. T is still angry and bitter and projecting it all on me, but I pretty much ignore it now. I've taken 2 awesome vacations in the last month - one with the kids and one without. The D process is moving ahead, and I am finding myself shocked at the mountains of paperwork it is requiring and generating.

I had to attend a mandatory "Parenting Education" seminar in at the courthouse this evening. State law mandates a 2-hour course for everyone who has children and is getting divorced. It's a pretty good session focusing on keeping the kids out of the middle of the divorce. The interesting thing about the class, however, was the demographics...

In order to keep tensions in the room as low as possible, they separate the class - some sessions are for Plaintiffs only, and others are only for Defendants. The material is the same, just the audience is different. As you may remember, even though I fought the divorce forever, I was the one who finally ended up filing, so I am the Plaintiff.

There were 27 people in my class.

4 of them were men...!

Does this mean that 85% of the divorces in my county are filed by women???

I was shocked when I looked around and realized it.

---

On another, positive note, I had a pleasant surprise when I joined Match.com a couple of weeks ago. Within a few short weeks I have been approached by and asked out by more attractive, educated, intelligent and fun women than I can possibly fit into the short times that I have between work and my days as a parent.

This is probably one of the primary reasons I haven't been on this site in a while - I've gotten too busy answering their mails... laugh

Hope all is well - I'll stick around. It just may not be that often.


Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2
M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08
Walking away from a bad situation.

My Sitch

Strength and Compassion
No Resentment
Thinker #2055462 08/12/10 07:07 PM
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Quote:
Does this mean that 85% of the divorces in my county are filed by women???


Seems like "newcomers" is the majority men right now.

Quote:
This is probably one of the primary reasons I haven't been on this site in a while - I've gotten too busy answering their mails...


Well then get off the computer, call and set up a date.

My oldest son is on a three week hiking excursion out West currently.

Cheers


M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Coach #2056019 08/13/10 05:38 PM
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Originally Posted By: Coach

Well then get off the computer, call and set up a date.


Already done that too! smile smile


Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2
M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08
Walking away from a bad situation.

My Sitch

Strength and Compassion
No Resentment
Thinker #2056034 08/13/10 05:58 PM
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Thinker,

Just my opinion....I would wait a bit to date, until the dust settles from this mess.

In my 10-week rebuilding class they suggested you wait at least a year. You have to learn to be alone again before you really know who you are and what you can give to a relationship and what you want out of a relationship. I've found that to be true. I separated in May of 2009 and divorced in May of 2010. The wisdom and knowledge I've found in this time has been amazing. I can say I know who I am, I take responsibilty for my faults in the marriage, and my heart is no longer broken.

I don't think I represent the popular opinion either "here" or in society where it seems to be "move on and find someone else." You have to find yourself first.....

Good luck in the days ahead. smile

Last edited by Golfgirl1; 08/13/10 05:58 PM.

Me 55
H 49
Married 21 years
No kids
bomb 5/09
filed 7/09
divorced and moving forward 5/10

Life is all about Plan B
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