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Kalni Offline OP
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It's been my second time here. Last time "I moved out" and back to separated when I realised H was holding back and wasnt 100% there with me. This time he is. This time I am the one struggling cause I dont know how to handle his A, the past and how to forgive and let go.

I saw a MC today. We will see her Thursday. There are not many experience MCs here, the reason I liked her was that she was positive and said "you seem to have good basis for a happy M, good for you not to quit when you found out he was cheating, cheating can be the end of a M, it can also mean a chance/opportunity to start over and put things in the right order with the goal to build a better relationship".

She said she is not experienced but that she will do everything possible in her powers to help us "piece".H agreed immediately to try her.

I am feeling exhausted and discouraged. I wish I was a goldfish and could forget the past. I dont know why it hit me so hard the last couple of weeks. Maybe because I feel vulnerable again. Maybe because I realise, our M will always have a huge scar... The "love of my life" is just another weak man.

Anyway, dont want to sound bad, it's my piecing thread and I need to be positive. I promise I will work on that.
K

Last edited by Kalni; 01/18/10 05:15 PM.

Me&H:42
S11&D10
Bomb 5/2007-Sep 11/2007
Reconc.November 2009
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FIRST!!!!!! I'll take a Bailey's and Coffee please. I'm cold today.

You started the path.....keep your feet on it Maria. I really have a lot of hope for you and H.

Quote:
The "love of my life" is just another weak man.


We are all weak Maria, you know that, but it's how you choose to grow that makes you strong!


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

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Originally Posted By: Kalni
our M will always have a huge scar... The "love of my life" is just another weak man.


Scars remind us of where we've been, but they don't dictate where we are going.


Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,518
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Dang! I missed being first. Oh well, it's a little early to be drinking just yet.
Hugs, sweetie, and more hugs.
OK, send over a Lemon Drop this afternoon. A stiff one.
Since I'm laying around nursing my foot, I'm spending time this week preparing to file, maybe next week. Bleck.
Can you get out today (perhaps w/ a girlfriend) and go for a walk? love, Goldey


Me:44, WAW hx bi-polar H:48, hx of abuse
S:22, S:19, D:16
Filed Oct 08, dismissed
Filed again Jan 10, dismissed
Now Piecing
alter persona: SuperBoots
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Kalni,

I wish I knew what to say to help you through this.

I think it's great that he wants to work on the relationship. There are a lot of people who would love to be where you are now.

It will take time to heal. It will take time to rebuild that trust. He is weak, but so are we all. Set your boundaries, and give him encouragement and support.

Someone told me that the relationship I had with my wife is over; we will never have that level of innocent, almost childlike, trust again. But that doesn't mean that we can't learn to trust each other, and now we can see the weak spots in our R and learn how to strengthen them.

Hopefully you can do the same.


Me: 44, Wife: 39
M: 17 years T: 20 years
Bomb on 08/25/09
1/13/10: MC started
1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs
8/28/10: Wife moved out
No talk of D, no movement

"Every day is another chance to get it right."
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So glad to see you over here! Keep choosing to look for the positives:

*He is moving things back into your home

*He wants to go to the MC

*You said yourself he is "in" this time, and you should know since you could tell he wasn't all there last time

Too early to go shopping for spring shoes? smile


You still don't have 100 threads, you know... whistle There's plenty of time to get things back on track and build.


Me-35

Together: 18 yrs
M-12.5 yrs
S-8
D-4
D'd: Feb. 2010

The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save. --Zeph. 3:17
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Originally Posted By: TrentC
Someone told me that the relationship I had with my wife is over; we will never have that level of innocent, almost childlike, trust again. But that doesn't mean that we can't learn to trust each other, and now we can see the weak spots in our R and learn how to strengthen them.


Exactamundo!!!!!!!!!

This is the best summation I've heard in a while.


Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
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Kalni Offline OP
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Problem is... I WANT that childlike innocence BACK damn it!!!


Me&H:42
S11&D10
Bomb 5/2007-Sep 11/2007
Reconc.November 2009
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 2,452
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It will come, not overnight and not without challange, but it will come.


Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,036
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A scar is definitely better than an open wound, and nothing is tougher.

Burt

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