Onwards and upwards!

[chatterbug]

Hi P. I miss ya... Jealous in Canuack land. I even wrote you a poem.

[P17]

Hi P. I miss ya... Jealous in Canuack land. I even wrote you a poem.

Hey cutter, I'm still around. As I said on newmama's thread I have neglected 6 months of my life (from the separation) and I have FINALLY got back on the horse. Unfortunately, getting back on the horse means doing 6 months of back work that I missed! Just support busy just now. I also have Lady P (I like the name newmama :)) coming up here this weekend and I am off to look at flats in the next city (110 miles away) in the next hour. Two flats to see both of them just about in price range. We'll see if they are suitable.

What are you jealous for?!?! From your sitch, you've got the whole world in your hand! Maybe it's my ruggish good looks and Brad Pitt smile?

Have lots to update, not much of it about W but more to do with me getting on with life. However I am starting to feel sorry for W Oh the ways the damn mind and heart works

You know you can always catch me on the Alt. And as I said I am around here and I will make sure I speak a bit more rather than lurk!

W has a new name - for all you Cthulhu lovers out there (or is that just me?) I have named her the Nameless One - which, I've just realised, abbreviated, is NO

[P17]

I think you will understand why i picked what I picked.

She chose the mountain while I took to the sea
Kissing away to our graves below the cold waves.
She chose the mountain while I took to the sea
A fleeting glimpse of what was and what is to be.
She chose the mountain while I took to the sea
Shimmering hopes bashed apart left in the dark.
She chose the mountain while I took to the sea
Cast adrift floating away currents embrace
She chose the mountain while I took to the sea
Spiralling down I stand upon the land.
She chose the mountain while I took to the sea
I walk away

Cutter, I actually really like that. I read it on a lot of levels - the mountains never change, stay still, safe, always there. The sea, moving, changing, dangerous, learning. The journey or adventure on the sea where you get to the 'other side' (or land as it is in the poem). I actually really like it.

I would leave it as is but just finish it with another 'She chose the mountain while I took to the sea' or maybe even 'She chose the mountain while I found land'.

Really chuffed about you writing that for me!

[newmama]

You can alwys post about non W stuff- it is allowed :-) and we want to know what's happening in your life!

So does Lady P live near the next city where you'll be looking at flats? And it's ok to feel sorry for W but not too much- she created her own mess! (unless it has to do with something else)

[chatterbug]

H.P. Lovecraft... Have not read that since Highschool. Nameless one... Like that.

And I leaned another new word this week. Chuffed.

Last night I learnt Spanglish from daybyday.


Good to see you up and about P. Just tread carefully... Build the foundation of friendship. The love will grow from there. And all that extra stuff as well

[Day by Day]

Have lots to update, not much of it about W but more to do with me getting on with life. However I am starting to feel sorry for W Oh the ways the damn mind and heart works

W has a new name - for all you Cthulhu lovers out there (or is that just me?) I have named her the Nameless One - which, I've just realised, abbreviated, is NO

Hey P!! Been missing ya. Hope you update more soon. I think we'd all like to hear how you are getting on with life.

Love the new name for W. I'm with you... I do not repeat H's name either. I refer to him with another one.

Happy to hear you are doing great.

[P17]

Okay, I've been meaning to update my thread for a while now. I will forget some things I think but here goes.

Counsellor:

Saw my counsellor recently and she made me realise I'm no longer married in my head. Marriage for me isn't that bit of paper you get. It's the commitment, the vows, the love, the future. The bit of paper is a legal thing. That's not marriage.

There is no commitment, love or future anymore. The vows have been broken. There is no marriage left.

Legally, we're still married but not in any other sense.

So a D, that would be easy, right?

No, and that's what I'm going to concentrate on now.

My marriage didn't disappear overnight. It was stolen from me in the middle of the night but a collaboration of two people, neither of whom I know. One was a woman I thought I would grow old with but turned into a liar, a cheat, a deceiver and to have no morals or courage to stand up for what she always said was important to her. And a man who I don't know but thought it okay to help break apart a marriage and a family.

So. I feel good about things. I am seeing things in a different light and it's helping to get that third point of view. P is a different man and continuing to grow with the help of the C and here.

Off to see her again in three weeks. Looking at cutting it down to once per month and then phasing it out slowly.

W:

Ahh, the wonderful Mrs P. Or the Nameless One as she is now known (see above) - NO for short.

What has she been up to? Well, nothing much to be honest as far as I can gather.

Spoke to NO's best friend a week or so again as she works at D's school. Poppped into to drop D off after a hospital appointment and casually asked if D had booked a lunch with the full intention of walking away. NO's friend has changed her mobile number again and I got the impression she was ignoring me. No hard feelings, I understand she is in a difficult 'rock and hard place' so didn't want to make things worse.

As I was walking away after getting a confirmation that D had booked a lunch, NO's friend asked me how I was - so I stopped and had a chit chat. NO's friend was saying she failed her driving test due to medical reasons and will need to move closer to her work. So i told her I too was looking at moving to the nearest big city a 100 miles away and she asked why. So I told her the story about NO wanting half the house, forcing me to move, splitting me and D up, yada yada yada.

NO's friend knew nothing about this, or so she claimed (although she did look shocked) and when she asked why NO was doing this I said she had changed and it was probably the L that was encouraging her so he could make more money from the court work - NO's friend said, with some vigour that NO had changed and she hadn't really spoken to her for a while. So it look like NO is dropping her best friend now too ...

D's mum's ex-partner (hey this is getting complicated :)) got a FB request from NO on Monday just passed That made me annoyed as NO is trying to spy on me - NO and D's mum's ex-partner don't really get on - she did offer him a lift home a few weeks ago after years of ignoring him ... I've changed all my FB stuff to private except from friends only and I've blocked NO and her cronies (sorry friends). Surprisingly this two days after me and Lady P were in NO's store. Coincidence? Who cares.

Other than that, nothing from NO. But it still bugs me that she's trying to spy on me. Maybe she's not but if it looks like an elephant, smells like an elephant then it's generally an elephant. Even if it's wearing sunglasses, it's still an elephant.

Lady P:

Lady P and I have been getting on great. Lots and lots of communication. Lots and lots of honesty. Lots and lots of listening (even from me :)). Things are going well. We're both on the same page. Have a huge amount in common. Similar view on life, kids, relationships, marriage, commitment, Starbucks (very important for me :)) and just about everything else. That's obviously no guarantee of anything, but when we were in a second hand bookshop and I picked up and bought a book on 'Battles' (I'm a big military history fan) she didn't flinch .. result

Valentines day went well. I got 3 cards and a heap of little presents. I of course didn't go overboard and bought a card and a soft toy monkey with 'You drive me bananas' on it ... eating all the choccies I got gave me trapped wind for over a week and required tablets and a two doctors appointments

Lady P was here last weekend for four days. We had a great time and of course we both agreed that it was time to 'nicely' rub it in NO's face. So we went into her store. Nothing overboard, we were just shopping together. No idea if NO saw us, but I think she did. Towards the end of the shop I actually didn't care. Some of her cronies saw us together so that made me feel good.

We went back to the shop on Monday and I actually spoke to a few of NO's friends who I didn't think were actually talking to me. That was nice.

Things are going good. Fast but good. There seems to be a good understanding there of each other's sitch. Lady P is married but has been separated for 7 years and has two kids with her H. They get on very well and they are looking at formalising a D next time he comes home (he works away overseas a lot). Nothing to do with me. Just something they agreed to do this year.

Me:

I'm doing great actually. I'm happy. Content. Gaining motivation. I was thinking just the other day how good it feels to be on my own now. I don't fear it. I've come full circle - 7 years ago before I met NO I was on my own, spending time with D. Now I'm on my own spending time with D. It just feels like I'm back to where I was - not square one, just back to where I was. I had this marriage thing in between but it didn't work out

So there is a small update.

NO is STILL snooping. I find it funny and annoying at the same time. Get on with your life woman and leave me alone. I am having a good relationship with a special girl. I am enjoying life again.

To quote my favourite movie ... Life Is Beautiful (if you haven't seen it, you must).

[chatterbug]

Life is Beautiful Life is Good.

P my good friend.

like I said earlier. Scottish go 2 feet first... No stepping.

Good seeing you in PMA land. You have sure earned it.

Be careful and all that.... Nah you will not listen anyways....

[P17]

Life is Beautiful Life is Good.

It is and I mean that with to without somebody else. I don't need anybody else to make me happy ... it helps and it makes it easier, but I don't need it.

like I said earlier. Scottish go 2 feet first... No stepping.

Much like the Irish CB

Good seeing you in PMA land. You have sure earned it.
Be careful and all that.... Nah you will not listen anyways....

I always listen to my friends. Whether I actually act on what they say is different!

Let me put it this way - I will only go as far as I am happy too - I will not go along with things for the sake of it to keep somebody else happy. Lady P understands that, and in fact is doing the same thing herself!

The main result of all of this for me is a new found motivation for work ... haven't had that in about 6-7 months!

[newmama]

P, you sound sooo happy! I am right about how meeting someone else is the best distraction! Of course the dangers are getting attached quickly, promising Lady P the moon, then NO comes around and you could be confused. However, I know you are smart and your V day card was PERFECT! Nicely chosen! But I never understood how to change things anyway when people told me "slow down" "be careful!" (lol)

I've come full circle - 7 years ago before I met NO I was on my own, spending time with D. Now I'm on my own spending time with D. It just feels like I'm back to where I was - not square one, just back to where I was. I had this marriage thing in between but it didn't work out

I was thinking something similar when I was hanging out at my friend's house last weekend without my S- except there is normally a baby in my sitch!

And I bet I know why you have some vim and vigor again!