New Year brings exciting news

[ACJ]

BM,
I'm so sorry to hear your news. Nobody can say you didn't try really hard to save your M.

You are right a true friend would listen to both sides of the story so I no longer class those women as my friends. Their loss as when they needed help (and believe me there have been many times when they have needed it big time) I was always there for them come rain or shine. I have nothing to be ashamed of. I know that if my time comes tomorrow I have done my utmost to try and at least get a civil R between me and XH. He doesn't want that. His problem not mine.


S17 had his final interview for a job yesterday. He didn't get it. That's tough when your first experience of the interview process is to have to go through multiple interviews and selection processes. Worse still he had to go nearly 100 miles for the one yesterday and between him and me it cost the best part of £100 to get him there and back, food etc.

[BeingMe]

Ouch! Sorry about S17 not getting the job. Did he do a practice interview? That sometimes helps with the nerves, etc. Is his gf still expecting? I forget what happened there.

I guess the women's husbands were more your XH's friends, then they were your friend ... if that makes sense. I just hope our couples friends remain both our friends. I think they will because we are remaining friends ourselves. It helps a lot, and it isn't fair for us to force people to choose, which is what your XH did, in a way. I guess he needed to justify why he left his family, so you were the scapegoat.

How long before the arrival THE car?

[ACJ]

Hi BM,

S17s GF had a termination.

The car arrives on or around 2nd August.

I'm really low today. Next week it is my friend's birthday. I knew she was having a BBQ and was just waiting for final details. They came this morning via facebook. She has also invited the guy I met at her party last year and had an incredibly brief but v passionate fling with. I know he has recently moved in with his current GF (who he met just after our fling)so if he goes I expect she will be there too. I'm not sure I can go now. Despite the shortness of the fling there isn't a day goes by when I don't think of him and I'm not sure seeing him right now would be good for me. I know if I put my mind to it I cuold do it as I've been to parties before where XH and OW have been there. I just don'tknow tht I want to ut myself thorugh it right now.

[Walking]

Rubbish. Dust off all your DBing skills and go be the gorgeous woman that you are. Who cares who that old fling is there with? That's his drama not yours.

Ally, go to the party, smile at him, say Hi and then go and have fun and meet other new and interesting people.

We have this ridiculous notion that there are only a handful of people on earth we can intimately or emotionally connect with. it's just not true. So you had a thing with this guy - perhaps he was sent to open your heart again - to remind you that you are still a sensual woman with a lot to give to the world. That doesnt' mean just because it didn't work out with him it's not going to work out with someone else.

Imagine if you didn't go and the future man of your dreams was at that party just waiting to meeting you?

Go to the party Alison. You know this stuff and you know how to strut your stuff. He can't hurt you. She can't hurt you. He's just a bloke you once knew.

Get out your party dress.

Take care, V

[BeingMe]

I have to agree with V, ACJ. I am sorry you're having a low day though. I hope your spirits perk up soon.

Take care.

[ACJ]

I know you are right Virginia. I was v hurt by this man. He knew about all that had happened with XH and he made me trust him. That was stupid. I had just got to the point where I was relaxed again (which is probably why it happened) but ever since I've been back at square one.

I think the thing that is probably bothering me the most is that I've actually met his GF before I knew they were an item (although he doesn't know that and she probably won't remember meeting me). She is an incredibly beautiful woman and must be extremely clever as well as she is a consultant opthalmologist. He clearly has no qualms about being with a woman that earns far more than him (although that's not the issue I'm stuggling with).

I think i can safely say the man of my dreams will not be at the party as I've seen the limited guest list and I already know everyone.

I'm biding my time over my reply as I'm hoping he will have the sense not to go and then I won't have to worry.

Deep down I do want to see him again but for all the wrong reasons.

[ACJ]

Ok so I did it......... I went to the party. The 'fling' did go although he was the last to arrive. This was good really as it meant I was deep in conversation with others when he arrived. We acknowledged each other, asked how we were etc. He said it was good to see me. Although we didn't interact directly much we did have the odd conversation. Thankfully he didn't bring his current GF (not sure why as I didn't ask). He doesn't drive as he has any eye condition that prevents him from doing so and had arrived by bus. That's actually a really long journey from where he lives to where the party was. Anyway he was going to go back on the bus which meant he had to leave early but kind of chipped in unless anyone was going his way and good offer him a lift home. I offered, he accepted. We hcatted mst of the way home so that was good. It seems he hasn't moved in with hsi GF as planned (again didn't ask why). He gave me a peck on the cheek when I dropped him off. It was all fine. My demons have now been faced

[job]

Bravo! I'm glad you went to the party and had a good time. You also were able to chat w/the bloke and now can move along nicely and not worry about those particular demons again!

[BeingMe]

Good for you! Brilliant that you could talk and not ask questions about his gf. It sounds like you just listened.

[ACJ]

BM you are dead right I did just listen. Ironically when I offered him a lift home I did so under the impression he had moved in with his GF who I know lives near me. So when we got into the car and I asked him where he wanted dropping and it became apparent he was still in his own flat I made reference to the fact that he had told me last time we spoke that he was moving in with GF and he just said 'Oh that never happened'. I was tempted to ask why but didn't.

I didn't DB quite 100%. I did send him an email on facebook saying that it was nice to see him again today. I was honest and said I nearly didn't go b/c I thought it would be too awkward but was glad that I changed my mind and had found the whole afternoon relaxing (which was the truth). He replied this morning saying he was glad I had gone and he had stayed far later than he had intended purely b/c he was relxed too. He also thanked me for the lift home.

I know it's all in the past and will stay there but deep down I know I really connected with this guy. Every time we have a convo it's like we have known each other forever and I can definately read hs facial expressions (which isn't so good for him :)). Just a shame we wanted different things from life.