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#1900835 12/23/09 10:04 PM
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swashy Offline OP
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Hi Guys,

None of you probably know me. I haven't been on here for at least a year and even then...that was in Surviving for a while..but I was in Newcommers for 06 and 07.

I'm now divorced and have been for about a year. We are very amicable. I have three amazing children - 10, 9 and 7 who I have joint custody with my ex.

I know the holidays can be hard - especially when you are going through what most of you here are. But let me assure you of one thing - it is the hurdles in life that make us all stronger and better people. You are being faced with an incredible challenge. And regardless of the outcome, I'm confident that most of you will choose to learn from it and become a better person. A better, friend, parent, son/daughter and with a little luck...a better spouse.

I am divorced but I am happy. I tried my best to save my M but the outcome of that in the end was out of my control. My children are the happiest I have ever seen them. Their grades are the best I have ever seen. I have dated some wonderful women and know exactly what it is that I am looking for in a partner. My ex is still with the guy she left me for and she informed me a couple weeks ago that they will be buying a big new house in our neighborhood. Not an easy pill to swallow. But I will rise above it. And...I am setting up my first meeting with the guy to discuss him living with my kids. I know this will be hard...but I will survive it and I will be a better person for it.

Anyway...in short...I want you all to know that you are not alone. There are people out there who know how hard this is. And we have survived and some have even thrived. That does not mean give up on your M. Knowing that I gave it my all has brought me tremendous peace in my life. But please realize that no matter where you end up...as long as you have you...and you are proud of the choices you are making...you will be ok.

Please try to step back and see all that you have this Holiday season. God bless!


Scott: 38
X: 39
M: 13yrs D: 12/12/08
S9, D8, S6
MLC/EA/PA
Bomb: 8/10/06 S: 01/07 Asked for D: 05/07 Mediation 07/07

"And when all's been said and done
It's the things that are given, not won
Are the things that you want"
- Gomez; See the World
swashy #1900866 12/23/09 10:44 PM
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Hey Swashy! I sure remember you! So glad to see you are doing well and expecially that you and the kids are happy. My H and I are really good. I hang around here to try to pay it forward since the DB Board got me through a bad time in my life. I learned a lot from this board, and it saved my M. Glad that you were part of that.

Merry Christmas!


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
swashy #1900867 12/23/09 10:45 PM
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Take care Scott....thanks for the post.


M44 H41
M20 T23
3 older teens
Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy"
EA Nov 09 w/coworker
Another PA in Mar 10
I Filed Apr 10
D final Dec 10
luvless #1900871 12/23/09 10:51 PM
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What a lovely, inspirational post. smile Thanks for sharing.


Me: 29
Got a ticket to the D concert
swashy #1900880 12/23/09 11:00 PM
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Hi Scott,

I remember you too.

What a great post for the Newcomers.

Have a very Happy Christmas and make good use of the mistletoe


Saffie
me 46
H 46
M in 1986
D20,D18,S16,D13
H's A 01/05 to 07/06
H recommitted to M 07/06
renewed vows 09/06
Going from strength to strength
saffie #1901046 12/24/09 04:19 AM
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Swashy, That is good to hear.

Cheers


M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Coach #1901332 12/24/09 06:12 PM
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Scotty!

I was thinking about you the other day, wondering how it was going. I'm glad to hear all is well in your life. Strangely, I miss you and the rest of the folks who were bombed around the same time...there was a trial by fire friendship that helped us all get to the other side.

Merry Christmas! I know nothing but good things are in store for you. smile

SD


Me: 40
H: 43
H had EA from 2/06-9/06
Bomb 5/06
Piecing since 9/2006
3/2008: Boundary setting
7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb.
8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 6,585
swashy Offline OP
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Thank you everyone! Sandi & Saffie - I remember you both as well! Glad you are doing so well Sandi and Saffie I hope you are too. smile

SD!!! I hear ya! What an amazing group of people we had on here. I still keep in touch with several - some I talk to on an almost daily business and will be friends for life. Not sure where I would be without the support structure I found on here. Are you on FB? A bunch of us are.

Life is never easy but it is good. Hope you had a great Christmas and that you are doing well. Kids had a blast on Christmas! smile

Take care!
Scott


Scott: 38
X: 39
M: 13yrs D: 12/12/08
S9, D8, S6
MLC/EA/PA
Bomb: 8/10/06 S: 01/07 Asked for D: 05/07 Mediation 07/07

"And when all's been said and done
It's the things that are given, not won
Are the things that you want"
- Gomez; See the World
swashy #1902439 12/27/09 01:53 PM
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Scott,

I needed to read your post. Thanks for chiming in.


Me 43, S11, D7
M13
Bomb 4/20/09
Current

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