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Joined: Jul 2007
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Hey from New Zealand K4D.

Actually, dbing started out very badly for me too but I hung in there and WAW did come around. Frankly, once I got the hang of it, it was easy. The hard part is the R. Rebuilding trust, healing, dealing with jealousy and often having a late newcomer distract you.

The one peice of good advice I can give you is do what's good for you. It may have taken me 2.5 years but I am pleased I took that long and I can now look at our M properly and realistically.

Your faith will help.....


--------
Me; 38
W; 34
1 4yr old S
Married 4.5 yrs, together 9 yrs
Bomb; 15 June 2007
Holiday together Sept 2008; My Dad dies Nov 2008; reconcliation fails Nov 2008

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Originally Posted By: Sad Girl
Originally Posted By: CityGirl
I will be going back to school in two weeks to study law. I hope to specialize in family law. I need to complete three semesters to become a paralegal. After that I will need to complete another three semesters to earn a BS in Legal Studies. I do have a college degree although its in a different field. What will happen after that? Maybe I will take the LCATs just for giggles and see if any law school will have me, lol!



Why are you studying to become a paralegal rather than just going straight into law school?

My college degree wasn't related to law. There were people with all kinds of degrees when I was in school.

I don't doubt for a minute that any law school would scoop you up.


CG-
My thoughts exactly...go straight to studying for the LSAT...no need to do the other stuff. You may be delaying the real deal and using para-legal work to avoid the reality of what you say you want to do. Why do that? Very few college classes relate to what you'll study in law school. What matters is your ability to write and to distill many things into a few ideas...and you have that. Plus one advantage for you in admission to law school is having an unusual major. Most of us were English majors or Political science. Don't do what everyone else is doing to get in. You are ready to take the LSAT prep course and from there, decide more. Without a doubt, I'd take the LSATs before doing ANY para-legal work. It delays your financial situation from improving that much longer.

And fwiw, imo, don't go to law school with too narrow a focus; be open to other areas of law as well. Family law is very draining and a relatively dangerous area of law for L's...and last but not least, you WILL get into SOME law school. Make sure it's an accredited one, AND stay current with the reading b/c it sucks to get behind. Good luck,

Sorry for the hijack.
j-


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
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Originally Posted By: CityGirl
I have been thinking about a career change for a while now. At least a year. I am sort of looking at it as a career enhancement and not a total change.

In some capacity I will probably always keep my business running as I really do enjoy it and I have spent so many years building it. I am not sure I will ever be able to let go of my "baby". While I am in school I will have to keep my business running in order to generate income to pay daily expenses and tuition as I don't want to live off savings during that time.

I can take my business anywhere as long as I have access to a computer and phone. While I do have deadlines to meet for clients I have quite a bit of flexibility which is a huge bonus while in school.

I do plan to have children one day and my business will allow me to be home and still work and support myself and my family. So, no, I can't imagine leaving it behind.

This next phase is really something for me and me only. I might feel fulfilled after completing the paralegal coursework and dive right in. Hence the reason I decided working with smaller educational goals is best for me.

I love the idea of options and a paralegal has so many!

What I love the most is the idea of me being in charge of me. I am here to create my own destiny. At this juncture of my life I feel this is just "right".



Not to quibble but you say paralegal studies will only be 3 semesters..well law school is just 3 more, and gives you many more options in many careers, than would paralegal work. Sometimes I get hired to speak about health care, or a policy issue, based solely on having a law degree. It helps in every field I know, to have a law degree whereas for most people, a 4 year "legal studies" degree just doesn't make sense -- to me to get another BA when the real deal for an employer is knowing you can handle the mental level of a graduate degree, and trust me, (and Sad2), we know you can. WE KNOW IT...we're not blowing smoke...
why would we?

ALL businesses love having an inside L, even when they hate L's...and people hire you to review their contracts, which you can do from home so YES there are legal jobs you can do out of your house and charge lots more than a paralegal can, plus a paralegal will always need an attorney to actually review the work that gets filed and since you're just as smart as we are, it'll get annoying to work FOR someone you could be working as a partner of...just saying...

the only reason you've given for paralegal work instead of law school is your belief that you'll "LOVE" paralegal work but your doubt that you'll enjoy the law as much & therefore the additional 18 months (3 more semesters) of school to become a L, would not be worth it. To me that's a weak argument. If you like the field, but don't want the responsibility of being an attorney, then say that. But I think it's fear of failure CG and you are not someone who should have that fear. You write & organize your writing too well - and think too clearly to sell yourself so short.

Study for the LSAT and see what happens. THEN think about other options. How can that hurt? You can always retake the test...
j-

again sorry for the hijack.


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 13,511
Likes: 1
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Originally Posted By: K4D
Quote:
What are you going to do when you are divorced, have your kids, and have to work?


I don't have another option when I have to stay late. We have been told that we will stay until everything is completed on certain days. I have to work with her to keep that help. There is nobody here that I can rely on to help out with that.

Kevin


Find someone you can rely on. Hire them. Single parents all over the world do this. You can too. You have to.
J-


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 3,325
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Posts: 3,325
Checking on you Kevin!


Me: 46 FWS: 36
Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07
Baby Girl born 3/08
Kicked him out because OW: 7/08
5/10 He realized what he had and lost.
Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,975
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I'm here. Nothing to report in the sitch.

I did get an email from an agency that is interested in sending me on a job interview for a company that bought out an old company I used to work for. It would be a great job as I liked working for the old company. We will see what happens on that front.

W is also on an interview this morning.

Kevin


Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,975
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Quote:
The one peice of good advice I can give you is do what's good for you. It may have taken me 2.5 years but I am pleased I took that long and I can now look at our M properly and realistically.


Thanks Kiwi,

That is what I am trying to do.

Kevin


Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,975
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Another full weekend coming up.

Thursday night I am doing a birthday dinner for D7 with W and her mom and stepdad and D12 and maybe SIL and her BF and daughter.
Friday night I am doing a birthday dinner for D7 with W and her real dad and D12 and maybe SIL and her BF and daughter.
Saturday D7 is celebrating her birthday party and of course, me and W will both be there.

Fun fun fun... Another chance to shine. Although I somewhat dread it as well. But I have to keep positive about it.

Kevin


Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,975
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Quote:
Find someone you can rely on. Hire them. Single parents all over the world do this. You can too. You have to.
J-


Thanks 25,

Kevin


Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,099
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Kevin,
Well put, you sound better than ever. You made some decisions here and drew some boundaries, that should feel good.

I enjoyed hearing FaithfulH's advice to you about NOT splitting the finances. I had similar thoughts, but he puts things so much better. What a wealth of experience, I loved hearing his story. I've been meaning to read this thread for a while, time to do it:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1782809&page=1

My favorite part was when he said that his W leaving was the best thing that could have happened to him, because of the growth that's resulted. That's so hard for me to believe right now, good to remember.


Me: 30
W: 28
T 8, M 6
S: 7-27-2007
W filed (again) 3-2011
Served 8-2011
Responded, now dark
"I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
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