What Do You Think About Dating During Separation?

[WalkbyFaith]

My sitution....WAS is seeing OM, but denying it to everyone. But I have the proof I need. I want to work on saving our marriage, but obviously she doesn't.

What is everyone's view on the LBS slowly entering the dating world in this situation? I have mixed emotions, but since W is moving on.......

And PS, we live in a "no fault" state

[hopeinwaiting]

I read somewhere that there was a lengthy thread on this topic. Maybe someone will post a link.

[karen43]

Apparently dating can be a good strategy to help the WAS realize what they're losing. So I guess it could be seen as doing what works.

I could see people doing it when the situation has been going on for a while, one or the both of you have filed for divorce, and you're ready to move on.

I'll admit I have religious/moral beliefs that prevent me from doing that. Plus, I always think what kind of person would date a married man or woman? Plus, I have 2 kids and I like at least one of us to be a good role model for the kids. But I really do think it has to be a personal choice for each person as to what's right for you.

Karen

[billclay18]

Apparently dating can be a good strategy to help the WAS realize what they're losing. So I guess it could be seen as doing what works.

I could see people doing it when the situation has been going on for a while, one or the both of you have filed for divorce, and you're ready to move on.

I agree with Karen here...if you've dropped the rope, given up and are truly moving on, it's fine. If you still want your M and it's just a tit-for-tat thing, which it sounds like, not sure it's a good idea.

[billclay18]

Also, if you want to use dating as a "strategy" to show your WAS you're moving on, then your "date" needs to be in on the plan, otherwise you can end up using someone as part of your game with WAS.

Social interaction is another option, it's not dating, just interacting with the opposite sex socially. See gucci for specifics.

[WalkbyFaith]

Apparently dating can be a good strategy to help the WAS realize what they're losing. So I guess it could be seen as doing what works.

Karen,

Thanks for the feedback. And yes, that would be my only real reason for doing it. Right now, my WAS thinks she can play me like a little lost puppy, so I have gone NC (as much as possible with children involved). I also want to try to shock her back to reality a little and let her realize what she's losing.

I probably won't do it (too chicken), but thought this would make for a good discussion.