You know gang, I would like to not even have the words so far away in the new name. That time has past and I don't particularly want any reminders of it......
You made a new name for yourself a long time ago...you got through this whole divorce thing by sticking to your guns, with your dignity in tact, and by putting your kids above all else.
I have a ton of names you could use or I want to call you, however I think the name you have now is just fine. I don't know of many who can say they have finally reached "that place", wherever it may be. So I think we could all carry your name.
You are a good man and my offer still stands to trade ex old ladies.
M-35 going on 15 D-8 S- 3 yrs ex-CL(w)- 30
D over one year
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. Douglas Adams "Just Be"
How about poopypantshead? And if you talk to AttorneyTom before I do would you please tell him to stop looking for me... He is supposed to be looking at himself! I think he'll get it.
M-35 going on 15 D-8 S- 3 yrs ex-CL(w)- 30
D over one year
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. Douglas Adams "Just Be"
There are varying definitions of soon, mine is now completed. I have waited a long time to write this post. Ladies and gentlemen, my divorce is now final.
I found out yesterday that my divorce had gone final. When my lawyer called and told me I felt a huge sense of relief that the final decision had finally come to fruition. 15 minutes later I had to excuse myself from the office as my tears began to fall like rain, uncontrollable, involuntary, and extremely surprising. I am so glad that all of this is finally completed, but the reality of what it actually is hurts very much folks. Do not try and fool yourself into thinking that you won't hurt the day it goes final. That's just what moral people do, they mourn a permanent loss of a commitment that they once made.
My time on here has been long, over 3 years fighting this battle. Almost everyone I came on with has had their resolution prior to mine, most of them ending in divorce. This is not a negative statement about the DB website, they are only here as guidance to save your marriage, not as the ultimate solution. Whenever there is another party involved no support group or website can solve your marital issues, they can only help guide you in ways to have the best chance at saving it.
Divorce Busting and Michelle have been an incredible piece of my life. I am a changed man from who I was when I got here. I am able to honestly say that my marriage fell apart because of my actions as well as my ex wife's. I forget to do the work that it takes to maintain a healthy and happy marriage, that mistake will not happen again.
I have learned a lot in the last 3 years. I have made some incredible friends that will forever be a piece of my life. You will have to forgive me, or indulge me, but there are a few people that I want to talk about. There are 3 men on this board that have been my lifeline and primary support system. They have given of themselves to me and taught me how to be a real man.
Kman has been an incredible friend. He has been the one who has encouraged me and pushed me forward and reminded me that there is life after all of this and it is incredibly fun. That the end of my marriage is not the end of my life.
Swashy has listened to more of my tears than any one man deserves to have had to put up with. He was there for me when it hit the hardest whether it was at 2 in the afternoon, or 4 in the morning. He has taught me that just because our spouses choose to be unfaithful does not mean that there can never be trust again in a relationship. He has shown me that real men are not afraid to show emotion and that it takes more of a man to be real than it does to be "cool".
Ty, when I first posted to Ty I thought that he was just a fool and to ignorant to see what was right in front of him. I never ever imagined the turnaround that he made would ever occur. He blossomed into one of the most amazing and realistic men that I know. He pushed through that horrific torturous wall that is in our faces before Swashy or I could and showed us both how to be strong through a horrific time in our lives. I do not go more than 2 days without talking to Ty, and he, Swashy, and Kev are like brothers to me. As strange as this sounds, I will forever be grateful to Carrie because without her I would not have these incredible men in my life.
There are so many more people on here that have become part of my life that are amazing. Lissie, for those of you that were fortunate enough to know her on here, she showed me that there are incredible women in this world who take pride in being a mom, who believe in commitment, and who you can trust. Most of all with my bean, she has been a woman that I can look at my D16 and say this is what a real woman is and this is the kind of woman I want you to become. For those of you that have followed my story you can only imagine how important that is in my world. My daughter is my world and having that has been so important these last few years. Muchas Gracias Frijole, Te amo mi amiga.
So the bottom line is this, my time here has sucked. It has been the hardest thing that I have ever been through and I pray that I never have to experience this again in my lifetime. More over I pray that the lessons I have learned will prevent my children from ever having to find a place like this in their lives.
For those of you who are new to this and randomly reading threads, saving your marriage is not the ultimate goal. I know this is a confusing statement to you, but it is the truth. Saving yourself, growing and learning from your mistakes, and becoming the person you really want to be, that is the ultimate goal. If your spouse chooses to come along for that ride, it is only a bonus. If they choose to end their commitment to you, that is simply their loss.
I implore everyone on here to remember that success is not measured by anyone but the person who stares back at you in the mirror each morning. What anyone else thinks is meaningless and you have only one person that you are accountable to and that is yourself. Do not expect perfection, it is an unrealistic expectation and even the best on here make them. The only thing you can do is continue to try and make the best decisions you can.
I thank each and every one of you who has ever posted to me, argued with me, or put up with my bullshitt over the last 3+ years. I am proud to know each and every one of you.
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