I have been wondering how things would be after she goes. From the people that I have talked to, including a female a cousin of mine who did the same thing, it's likely that she will feel freed and excited for a short while then it may sink in. Maybe not.
You're right though. If I have been able to get through this, I should be able to get through anything.
I'll have to catch up on your sitch. I'm interested to see what can happen a little while in.
FYI...my cousin was gone for 4 months before she went back home.
Me: 35 W: 31 S:9 M: 10 years Together 13 MySitch - Ups & Downs She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
EB..what an ordeal. I'm not getting the affection but probably could if I initiated it. I want to distance myself because I think that is what is good for my sitch.
I have the same feeling...I've made it this far....
M 33, W 30, SD 10, D 5, S 4
Made it through the WAW, living happily together now. And I am much wiser for it!
Hope you can keep it going. My wife and I went through a few of these rollercoasters before it got really bad. I didn't know about DB/DR and the board here. I might have kept it going had I known better. Best of luck.
M 33, W 30, SD 10, D 5, S 4
Made it through the WAW, living happily together now. And I am much wiser for it!
I asked my W to go out to dinner tonight, a gesture and to see if she might open up at all. I didnt provoke or indicate that I was looking for that at all. I was simply in a good mood taking care of myself and showing her the genuine interest in her that I actually have.
However if this M starts to repair and she can't meet my terms, just as she expects certain things from me, then I believe I am in a place where I can be alright on my own.
Missing my 19 and 16 yr old would be ridiculously hard though.
Here is another piece of the puzzle that I will add... We can't afford to change our minds right now, I cant imagaine either one of being able to afford a household on our own...let alone that we would need another car...or two....how does she suppose this will happen?
Well its time for me to go upstairs and get another dose of DB for tonight.
What if my W knows I am reading this.... I dont discuss it with her at all.... and she doesnt ask..... ??
But there really wasnt much of a way for me to have the privacy I need to read as often as I do/ have... This is my 2nd time thru DB, and I need to gind a copy of DR becuase our library doesnt have one.
I did my first year of college in Mt. P. I was born near the Big D and slowly worked my way north. Then I followed a boy to TN for the rest of college, then out to CA for grad school, married a "Californiano" and got rooted out here.
I don't mind, really. I have the ocean to look at instead of the lakes, and while I do miss snow, I don't miss it for as long as Michigan has it. The year I moved out of MI, it snowed on my birthday. In late April.
I miss blueberries, though, and turning leaves and apple cider. And hot chocolate on snowy days, and the particular feather-soft, quiet of dusk during a fresh snowfall.
*Californiano - descendents of Spanish settlers in Alta California before it became a US territory. I tease H about being a conquistador. His ancestors provided military security for the old missions out here.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
I miss blueberries, though, and turning leaves and apple cider. And hot chocolate on snowy days, and the particular feather-soft, quiet of dusk during a fresh snowfall.
I'm a native Californian - these things are foreign to me. Blueberries are the expensive fruit at the store. Turning leaves are only something you see in books, and snowy days are found on rare and expensive ski vacations.
I was born near the Big D and slowly worked my way north. Then I followed a boy to TN for the rest of college, then out to CA for grad school, married a "Californiano" and got rooted out here. 
