process re: papers served?

[hhh]

Hi all -
I am relatively new to this site and have learned a lot from the folks here. I have been separated frm H for 8 mos - he wants to end M, I want to save it. I've been trying to suggested retrouvaille but i dont think i can get H to do it. He's out of country for over a month, but has hinted about 'serving papers'. I really know nothing about D process. I live in Massachusetts. I guess he can get a D without my signing anyway, correct? Does anyone know anything about being served w D papers, and what I am supposed to do, if I don't want the divorce? Can he still get without my signing? I'd appreciate any advice from the folks here.

Thank you so much,
hhh

[givingitmyall]

hhh,

"serving" you means he has to have the divorce complaint physically handed to you or left with someone of suitable age at your place of residence. That date starts the clock running on your deadline to file an answer and any claims back against your H. If you are served, I strongly recommend you hire an attorney.

I do not know if Mass. is a no fault divorce state (I suspect it probably is). This means you don't have to have a reason to get D'd. So, I do not think you will be able to stop the D.

[beepee]

Im in Mass too and its a no fault divorce state.

I read about not getting the other persons signature.
He can say that he's exhausted every avenue but have not been able to locate you and do not know of your whereabouts and he would be able to get divorced on his own. I'm not sure what evidence or paperwork he would need to provide however.
I'm not too sure about the process, you might want to speak to a lawyer, they'll give you all the info you need.

Sorry for your sitch and but glad you've found this place, it's a wonderful resource and the people here have incredible advice and support!

[karen43]

If you get served with D papers, then I think that's right you need to hire a L immediately. I don't think you can stop the D, but you can delay it if you think the extra time will help in any way. My D has been going on for over a year, and I haven't even tried to delay it in anyway, just taking forever! I've heard that you can tell your L to delay it, but don't let your WAS know that you are doing that or having your L do that and blame everything on the L.

Have you read Divorce Remedy yet? I highly recommend that. If you post here and list a few more details, more people will post also, if you have any other questions. Sometimes we "vent" here too, instead of at our WAS. Karen

[Teddy]

This is what I did and would suggest the following to you. And worked extremely well and kept my costs down for a divorce I didn't initiate and didn't own.

Don't duck the service. Ducking the service just makes things more stressful then they already are. But along the same lines you don't have to make it easy either.

Once served immediately turn it over to an attorney. Tell him to play defense only. Let your spouse initiate action.

I hope this helps. Sad that anybody is in this situation.