WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 11

[Tomato]

hey cipa bud

hope you and life are mixing well. i will keep an eye out for you or one of us will get around to calling the other soon.

As "mom" made reference to and wondered how things went with you and the boys for Haloween and trick or treating, I also would like to hear about it. I can sorta picture you doing your great dad thing and making it extra special for you and them.

Be blessed bro. Peace.

T

[The Wifey]

Hey CIPA & Tomato - I am going to plan a trip some time in the next month to travel downstate in NY. Maybe we can catch up on FB and try to arrange a meet? FYI - I have an Uncle in a correctional institution in the Hudson Valley - 4 1/2 hours away. I'm going that far, might as well try.

[confusedinpa]

Just checking to see how your weekend went. Did you take the boys Trick/Treating?

I had a good weekend with the boys - big surprise :-p

My buddy and his wife and kids came over to join us for trick or treating. We hadn't seen them in a couple of months and the kids love playing with each other so it was real good. The nice part of our trick or treating in our development is that the kids will get candy of course but the adults can get beer. So it was a good time even though it started to rain.

We all went back to my house and the kids played while my buddy and I drank our halloween "candy". It was all good until my WAW texted asking for pictures of the kids from tonite. I hadn't taken any and only my friend's wife did so I just emailed her asking her to send the picture she had taken. I was a little annoyed as I had seen she had posted on FB pics of the kids for halloween every year.

Ironic how active she has been on FB. I think that's where she started with the first guy she cheated with me on. Since then she "graduated" to match. It still annoys and disgusts me what she had done, but it doesn't eat at me as much.

It did bother me when my 3 year old on Sunday asked me why I was still doing mean things to mommy. I told him I wasn't and asked him why he said that. He said mommy told him that this week. Unbelievable....

So goes another weekend with the boys.

Thanks for checking up on me "mom"

[confusedinpa]

Hey CIPA & Tomato - I am going to plan a trip some time in the next month to travel downstate in NY. Maybe we can catch up on FB and try to arrange a meet? FYI - I have an Uncle in a correctional institution in the Hudson Valley - 4 1/2 hours away. I'm going that far, might as well try.

Wifey - definitely hit me on FB. I'm working in the Hudson Valley during the week so I can definitely meet up if you around there Mon through Thurs.

Tomato - I'll try to hit you up sometime this week (probably tonite since there isn't a game on).

[MrBond]

cipa,

Glad to hear your Halloween went great. Have you ever called out your W on her BS lately? Did your son give you an example of how mom said you were treating her badly?

I would call her out on her BS to squash that ASAP. I'd call her and ask her exactly what she's said because you need to document it for the L. That would stop things right away.

She's looking for attention since she's not getting it from you. When you interact with her is it friendly or very tense?

[confusedinpa]

cipa,

Glad to hear your Halloween went great. Have you ever called out your W on her BS lately? Did your son give you an example of how mom said you were treating her badly?

I would call her out on her BS to squash that ASAP. I'd call her and ask her exactly what she's said because you need to document it for the L. That would stop things right away.

She's looking for attention since she's not getting it from you. When you interact with her is it friendly or very tense?

Actually the last we interacted was before what should have been our 10 year anniversary on 10/10. I tried to see if she wanted to go have dinner together as the week before she was lamenting about not having sushi in a while (it was one of the things we would do when we would go out). She declined pretty abruptly as she said I've hurt her too much. I expected as much.

The crappy part of it was that nite, I was out with my friends and boys in a halloween parade having a great time, when she text "Just realized I'm having the same anniversary dinner I had 8 years ago...." I didn't reply as I thought it was meant to be hurtful after all the BS she gave me when I asked her to go to dinner.

So it's been pretty tense since I found out how much crap she had been feeding me to justify her own guilty conscious. I have gotten to the point when she picks up the boys I don't look at her other than hired help - a very expensive babysitter that I can't fire.

Even last Sun, she showed up 5 minutes early to pick up the boys. I gave her the boy's bags as I had been to let her make sure she had everything. The boys and I got ready and came out. In the driveway, my 7 year old made a comment about the wishing star. So the 3 of us huddled together and said the wishing star poem and we each made a wish and hugged. Then my 3 year old saw how full and awesome the moon looked.

He asked if I could get him a piece. I reached up and pretended to grab a piece. I broke it into three pieces and gave him and his brother each one. I then took mine and told him I am going to keep it next to my heart so during this week when we look at the moon we will know it is the same moon we will be looking at together. My boys then touched their piece to their hearts as well as gave me big hugs and kisses.

I saw the mother just roll her eyes and turn away. F it, it's her loss.

After they drove away, they came right back. My 3 year old was freaking out. I came out and he asked if he could take some of his halloween candy with him. She immediately said they had plenty of candy. He started crying like crazy and I told him I will bring each of them the small bag of candy my buddy had given each of them. Their mother protested saying it was getting late. I ignored her, ran into the house and gave them their bags. I gave them hugs and kisses and said goodbye again. My boys both yelled "I love you" as she sped off.

So she is still "acting out". I don't care. I'm living my life and loving my boys. If she doesn't want to be part of it, it's her loss...

[MrBond]

Sorry to hear she's still acting like a child. But you know what you need to do to really obnoxious kids? Give them a spanking!

That's pretty much what I did to my W when she complained about not being able to see the kids when it was my day and I had my parents watch them. I called her on it. You can look at it on my posts. I felt soooo good telling her what was on my mind and that she couldn't have her cake and eat it too. In the end she even thanked me for it!

I would "man-up" and put her in her place especially if she's bad-mouthing about you to the kids. Not being mean to her, but setting her straight. I think Puppy or someone else on here called them "truth darts". Or do things like, when she comes over and is all pissy, start acting overly nice to her. That'll get a rise from her, but she can't do anything about it because it'll make her look like the bad guy. For example, when you were giving out the pieces of the moon, I would have said "here's a piece for mommy" and give it to the little one to give to her. She can choose to be angry about that, but you just showed the kids how to treat a woman right. Even if that woman is just plain out of her mind.

[theroadback]

Hey cipa, found a rap song for ya....


In the night I hear them talk,
The coldest story ever told,
Somewhere far along this road
He lost his soul,
To a woman so Heartless
How could you be so heartless'

How could you be so
Cold as the winter wind when it breeze yo
Just remember that you talking to me yo
You need to watch the way you talking to me yo
I mean after all the things that we been through
I mean after all the things we got into
And yo I know of some things you things that you aint told me
Ayo I did some things but that's the old me
And now you wanna pay me back
You gon' show me
So you walk round like you don't know me
You got them new friend
Well I got homeys
But at the end it's still so lonely

In the night I hear them talk,
The coldest story ever told,
Somewhere far along this road
He lost his soul,
To a woman so heartless
How could you be so heartless'oh..
How could you be so heartless'

How could you be so Dr. Evil
You're bringing out a side of
Me that I don't know,
I decided we wasn't gonna speak so why are up 3 a.m. on the phone,
Why does she be so mad at me for, homey I don't know she hot and cold,
I won't stop and mess my groove up cause I already know how this thing goes,
You run and tell you're friends that you're leavin' me,
They say that they don't see what you see in me,
You wait a couple months then you gone' see,
You'll never find nobody better than me

In the night I hear them talk,
The coldest story ever told,
Somewhere far along this road
He lost his soul,
To a woman so heartless
How could you be so heartless' oh..
How could you be so heartless'

Talkin', talkin', talkin', talk
Baby lets just knock it off
They don't know what we been through
They don't know 'bout me and you
So I got something new to see
And you just gon' keep hatin' me
And we just gon' be enemies
I know you can't believe
I could just leave it wrong
And you can't make it right
I'm gon' take off tonight
Into the night...

In the night, I hear 'em talk,
The coldest story ever told.
Somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul.
To a woman so heartless...
How could you be so heartless' oh... How could you be so heartless.

[confusedinpa]

LOL Kanye is one of my favorites. My boys and I sing along to this song :-)

[confusedinpa]

Just more journaling

She hit a deer last Thurs and called me. I asked if the boys was ok. She said only the 3 year old was in the car and he was ok as they were on the way to pick up the 7 year old. She tried to tell me all the details and what not but I asked to talk to him. I asked if he was ok. He said he was and then told me about what happened and that grandmom was coming to pick them up. I told him I was glad he was ok and asked him to call me tonite so I know he and his brother made it back to mommy's apt ok.

My 7 year old called and was upset about the car. I told him that it was only a car and the important thing was that no one was hurt. That was why we drive big cars (full size trucks and SUV's). The car thing is an adult thing so he should let the adults take care of that.

Later that nite, I talked to both of them again and they seemed ok. I told them that I will see them tomorrow (Friday).

After I picked them up on Friday nite, I took them to a motorcycle dealership as I have been seriously considering buying a bike. It's been over 7 years since I had one so I thought it would be a good idea to check out what's the latest that is out there. One nice thing about the crappy economy, prices are really discounted off of list, plus the weather has been really cold and wet.

My boys had a blast as we were the only ones at the dealership. They were very respectful of the bikes as they knew not to touch or climb on them without me saying anything. I had always been part of the riding crowd since college and have always found other motorcyclist to be really good people (contrary to the perceptions). The dealership was full of "true" motorcyclist that worked there.

The people working there enjoyed how much excitement and enthusiasm my boys had about the bikes. They kept finding one that they would buy when they got bigger so we could ride together. A couple of salesman brought out kid size riding gear for my boys to try on and play with. My boys took turns taking pictures of the bike and of each other as they tried on gear.

Then we went out to a resturant that we hadn't gone to in a while. The hostess remembered me and knew of my WAW situation. She had been very flirty since I had told her so that was always a good ego boost.

Sat we wound up playing some tennis in the morning. My 7 year old is really getting the hang of it. My 3 year old uses a racquet ball racket and is getting to the point where he can actually hit it over the net (when I bounce the ball to him). It was a lot of fun and a lot of running as they had to chase down the balls. They got so tired that when we hit Mickey D's for lunch, they were too tired to play on the climber.

After nap, we played some football and I made their now favorite dinner of chicken and rice with cheese/cream sauce.

Sunday we went to the driving range. My 7 year old has gotten a pretty good swing as I let him use my pitching wedge. He is able to hit it pretty straight (wish I could say the same). My 3 year old has a real kids club and makes good contact. It was a good time.

We grilled out some hotdogs for lunch (it was beautiful out) and had a picnic in our backyard.

After the 3 year old's nap, we played some baseball. Then we had dinner and we had to prepare for my WAW to pick them up.

The only downer this weekend was when my 3 year old tackled me to give me a hug and kiss and said that he loved me, he said that since he spends more time with mommy he loves her more. I told him that I'm sorry he feels that way but daddy loves him no matter how much time I see him. A little bit of a downer but I gotta remember he is only 3.

My 7 year old did get sad on Sunday when he realized that the weekend was winding down and he was not staying at home until the next weekend.

When I took them to her car, we saw the moon and I asked if they wanted to put our pieces of the moon back. They sad no. I gave them hugs and kisses. I saw my WAW rolling her eyes again so I asked if one of the boys wanted to break a piece of the moon of and give one to mommy to. My 7 year old did and gave it to her.

So I gave them extra hugs and kisses and told them I would see them on Friday again.

My 3 year old called me this morning as I was getting ready to leave for work. He was upset that he missed me. I told him and his brother that I missed him as well and will see them both on Friday and that we will try to skype tonite so we can see each other. I could hear in the background my WAW getting upset that they weren't getting ready. I told them both to have a great day and to do a good job getting ready for mommy. Then I told them I loved them.

It was nice to talk to my boys first thing in the morning.