Can it get any worse?

[glamgirl]

I am devastated to say the least. H was over yesterday and I checked the mail and there was a letter from the state. It was a letter for child support. I was dumbfounded. Of course, h claims his innocence.

Of course I ask him all the questions. He claims he has been with nobody and he knows only as much as I do. Now the papers don't say a name or anything. I couldn't even talk to my h. He left soon after at my request. I just said I need some time and I think it's best you leave.

He said he would call the state today to see what the papers are all about. I said to h these are pretty serious allegations that people don't just make up.

I am so lost right now. Meaning, I have no idea what these papers are about and where is my future with h now. Could it really be possible he has had a child with another woman. Please tell me that is not true.

If it is true, my h is such a dumb F for finding himself in this situation. How can he have respect for himself, this woman and myself.

I really don't know who this man is anymore. How could he do this to himself, this woman, and to his family? He was once so well respected.

I have no experience in this area and find it very awkward to be in this situation. I should be crying and angry, but I am numb. So hurt and disappointed that my h should find himself in this situation.

I really don't know what to do at this point. Did I really marry that dumb of a guy? From what I married and who he is today are worlds a part. I can't wrap my head around his stupid idiotic behavior. It baffles me.

Maybe this explains why he can't come home or the whole secrecy thing. Maybe this explains a lot of who he has been the past 3 years.

I don't know where to start or where to go. I want this nightmare to end.

Please pray for me. I need all the strength I can get right now.

[naej]

Hi Glam, I am so sorry this has happened on top of everything else you have endured for the last 3 years.
I know nothing about the legal side of things but it makes no sense to have those kind of paers sent to you.
Was the letter addressed to him or you?
Why did it not go to where he lives?
I hope you get some answers, can you not ring them yourself at least you would get the truth and not your H's version of it.
Even if it is not what you want to hear I always feel better knowing the truth.
Could it all be a mistake?

Take care. It would explain his MIA behaviour and all the secrecy and then you can take stock.
Surely he now sees the need to be honest. Depression aside if it is true he obviously wasn't that depressed at some time or other.
Hugs ((())) you must be devastated.

[glamgirl]

I can't really describe how I am feeling inside. I feel so empty, so alone, so broken, so devastated, so embarrassed, so ashamed of my h, so dumbfounded that my h has found himself in this place.

My was a respectful business man, so full of ideas, such a great friend, husband, neighbor, trusted individual, devoted h and family man. I really idolized him. Now I look at him in disbelief. I am really floored that he finds himself in this situation.

Does he not have a judge of character of people he chooses to bring into his life? Does he not have a morale compass? What did he gain by all of this? What did he lose in return?

I have so many unanswered questions. The one thing that God keeps bringing back to the surface is without God in your life what is your purpose and how do you keep your life whole?

[glamgirl]

Thanks Naej I am so devastated. H has all his mail sent to our home. Not sure if he receives any mail where he lives. The letter was addressed to h and we were walking back from the mailbox and h says go ahead and open it. I did and that was what was in the envelope.

H acted surprised, but not really sure what is going on in his mind.

I am so proud of how I acted though. I questioned h, but no yelling screaming how could you stuff. I just asked what he knew and what he was going to do about it.

[glamgirl]

I hardly slept at all last night. Just thinking about how a mere 10 years ago we were jet setting off to Hawaii for our honeymoon and now our lives have been reduced to rubble.

These are hard lessons in life. I can only hope and pray that my h find the need to finally open up and be honest. I also hope he has regrets of how he lived his life and the decisions he made over the past 3 years.

It's because of his poor judgments over the years that he finds himself here. At what point is he going to change that? How much more pathetic can he make his life? He had it all and how could he be proud of what a mess he made of his life? I don't understand how someone can get so far off base in their thinking?

It doesn't make sense to me. None of this makes sense.

[plentyhope]

Dear glam, I pray that God gives you the strength and patience for all this, and ability to think this through. So sorry that you are going through yet another situation with your H. Hugs, PH

[Andabelle]

I am so sorry, Glam. If there is a child, a lot depends on his/her age (timeline). Also whether your H behaves responsibly or not. I hope you get some answers soon. He will have to come clean with the state coming after him.

[glamgirl]

Well I did call over to the state and yep my suspicions were correct. The order is from ow that I suspected from 3 years ago. Not sure what has transpired with her and h over the past 3 years, but it looks like she is going after h for child support.

Now, not sure what the past 3 years look like for h and her and if h went through a pg with her or what. I am simply devastated.

She is a tramp, I knew that from day one. 4 kids by 4 different fathers, I guess h is now the 5th. On welfare, drug addict, smoker, not educated, warrants for her arrest. I really don't know why or how my h got in touch with this woman, but now look at the mess h's life is in.

Do you think he knew about this child and that is what he has been hiding from all along? I am so ashamed of my h. I am so so ashamed that he is putting me and the kids through this. What a F farce. He couldn't leave well enough alone when he had a good thing.

Does he really have no regrets? Does this mean he is tied to this person now that they have a child?

Why can't my h talk to me? How can he continue to hide the truth now?

Well I guess God is revealing this to me. Why me? Why me? Why me? I keep asking that.

[glamgirl]

How am I going to make it through? How can I even look at my h without disgust?

Why couldn't my h be honest? Why couldn't he have talked to me? Why did I have to find out this way?

Life is so not fair. What does this all mean? Help! Any thoughts?

I haven't eaten since I found out. I feel so sick and brutally betrayed. How could my h do this?

[trustingfaith]

I can't even imagine how you must feel - I will pray for you.