Good lord. I didn't know this was your second M. And you're so young. You've got all the time in the world to find someone who really rocks your world.
{{{stuck}}}
haha stuck you crack me up.
I really thought I mentioned that before? I obviously have bad luck picking men, so I think I am going to stay single for a long time. For the first time in my life, I dont feel afraid to be by myself. I am a different person then what I was 6 yrs ago when I met H....I got married at a young age (18) to the first H, it ended 2 yrs later, but I had been with him for 6 yrs...then I rebounded with H (now EXH i guess)....thought I was all in love and that I needed someone...(didnt really have that sort of love growing up, so I was seeking it out elsewhere) and here I am 6yrs later. I am the poster child for rebounding, and I have learned my lesson the hard way, but at least it was learned!
Good lord. I didn't know this was your second M. And you're so young. You've got all the time in the world to find someone who really rocks your world.
{{{stuck}}}
Umm yeah, that kind of changes things, lol.
Ditto what stuck said, good luck and excercise extreme caution embarking on new adventures. Geesh, could of given us some pointers.
LOL! thank you very much, im taking it day by day...learning from all my mistakes
Hi Jen! Sorry you have to be here, but it sounds like you are goingot start a peaceful new life. i m one of the fewer people on her going througha dvorce at a younger age, we are both 29 and seperated almost 16months, D day set for July 23rd.
we do have a daughter though, she will be 2 in sept (yup, he left me when she was 6 months old, after all the infertility treatments and conceiving our miracle baby)It is very hard learning how to be a mom and going through a divorce at the same time, but I love my daughter to death.
I say go for the date. There is no time set on too soon. Only you know that. And you will know when you go on the date.I went on one early on in my seperation and I found out I was so not ready. Then I dated a guy for fun (only 21) and that ended. Nothing for 9 months for me. I am ready for a companion and when I am legally divorced, I will accept some of the setups my friends would like to do.
We are young and were just settling in a life which didn'tlast that long, it's difficult. My friends have been married with kids for a few years and of course, it's early on and none of them are headed for divorce, they are enjoying their families.
Keep on going in the right directon.
Hey girl I am so very sorry to hear about your sitch as well. You know it never ceases to amaze me ---I will never understand how someone who once loved you enough to marry you could just leave you like that...especially in your case with a young daughter..what a shame. Sounds like you are much better off, which I know we all hear this all the time....and someday we will feel that too.
Thank you for sharing your dating experiences with me. Sometimes you dont know until you try, and as long as you are careful and keep your guard up thats all that matters
I feel like you on the dating thing...so now is where I update about my date!
I had a nice time, the guy was fun to talk to and we had a lot in common but thats about it. Will I go out with him again..eh, probably not. But it was nice to get out of the house and meet someone new. One thing it made me feel later on that night.....as I heard in a song "my heart remains faithful" to H, for now, unfortunately!
Im just trying to get through each day and now knowing that I dont need a man right now..Im just trying to take care of myself and I realized that being alone isnt so bad at all! No arguing, no drama... its just me!
I have comfort in the fact that I know, someday, H will realize how much he missed out when he let me go. May be years from now, I may never know it...but I know it will happen. I was a great wife to him, i finally see that now after blaming myself for the last year...and he will never find someone like me.
One thing I am learning is that you cannot force yourself to move forward,you just have to let it happen. I feel like I am making progress but I still cry often about it. I look forward to the day its just a memory and not my current reality. Probably the most difficult thing is having friends and family that don't understand. My brother is going through a pretty bad breakup so he can relate to me the most right now...but I get so tired of my friends saying "your better off" "he was a jerk anyway" "you need to move on"....gee, if it were that easy I think I would have chose that route about a year ago.
Thats why I am glad I can be here to journal. Nothing feels real. I just feel like he has been gone on a deployment (he use to be in the military) and that he will be coming home soon. I took the news of him being interested in a particular girl not so well. I had my little fit then I got over it. Of course she is the exact opposite of me. You know, the girl that acts like a guy, rides dirt bikes, agrees with the guys when they say a chick is hot...so that is what he thinks he wants because he all of a sudden got into dirt bike riding after we separated..that newness will only last for so long.
Somedays I feel like packing everything up and just running away from this place where there are so many memories, chances of running into him..but somehow I suck it up and get through each day. Until next time......
I know it's tough. Sometimes I wish it would all be over for me too.
You came through it a stronger person and each day will get better. Who knows? The tomboy girl he is attracted to might be gay and not attracted to your H. LOL.
My prayers are with you.
(((stuck)))
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I really do look forward to the day I can feel so much better about all of this. I dont understand how I can be so sad over someone that treated me so badly....doesnt make sense!
I feel though, as soon as I move out of our house (3 weeks or so) it will be a little different..maybe the healing process will continue at this point because right now it seems like its at a stand still. I need to come over to your thread to see whats been going on with you
I wish everyone would stop telling me I will be fine!!!!! I just need friends that will be there to listen and not constantly make me feel bad about missing exh.
They don't know what else to say - they don't want to see you hurt (it makes them uncomfortable that they can't take the pain away), so they try to talk you out of it. It does help to be around people who "get it." Don't be surprised if others back away from you a bit until you are feeling better - they won't do it on purpose. Journal a lot, dump stuff here, talk with divorced friends, etc.
Thanks Donna, I actually have noticed some ppl backing away, its odd I never noticed it before you mentioned it. They dont understand that sometimes I just want to be alone. As much as I hate those crying, anxious, sad nights I think its good to allow myself to feel those emotions.
I had to see him yesterday and it was very strange. He didn't even smile once. Of course I was all smiles and nice like always, his cousin was with him and he was actually being very nice to me, but exH was mostly quiet.
I had asked him to change the spark plugs in my car because Im trying to sell it and someone was coming to see it today, and he was all annoying and said "you need to stop relying on my, i have my own life now, why dont you ask that guy your dating to do it for you, doesnt he know how?"
I didnt know I was dating someone. I had dinner with a guy friend and that was it. Now he is being all hostile toward me....he knows I have no one here, for him to act like that is ridiculous after everything he has put me through. He is the one that told me to move on? Sheesh
XH is right -- it is inappropriate for you to ask him to work on your car. Rely on yourself and others, but not him -- he is no longer in your life in that way. The more you let go and make your life work without XH, the better you will feel.
