I sure wish this was an option.I have gone and screwed things up royally.I have done everything we aren't supposed to do and found out too late.It is extremely hard to get past the pain and guilt.I haven't seen my kids in a month I have been asking my W but she refuses.when this all first started back in early Feb.I was floored, I countered by consuming a large quantity of alcohol and I said something I wish I could take back, I threatened to end my life.yes it was stupid, immature and childish and to this day I don't really think I could do it.I just don't have the b@lls to do it.but that doesn't matter. all she knows is I said it and now it is haunting me.
She insists that I am unstable and has been telling my kids this and so have her parents. I have been in therapy for a year and doing very well I have made huge progress but she refuses to see this.so I invited her to come with me to the therapist she said o.k, she never showed.at that time there where no custody orders in place.so I had enough and picked my two youngest up from the bus stop.She was also there and started to cause a scene.I told her she was upsetting the kids so she let them go.I called her later that evening and informed her that they had fallen a sleep and I put them to bed.She moaned and groaned a bit but I assured her they were fine. after all I have cared for them for the last two years. I have been a stay at home Dad due to an injury from an auto accident.She came by in the morning and brought my son's meds he has asthma.I didn't have any in the house because obviously she left with it.But I did have medication if there was an emergency.I am more than capable.The kids and I had breakfast.dressed for school and I dropped them at the bus stop and waved them off as they went to school.when I returned home I called the W and asked if I could have them back that night and the following day since they were off from school.She said she had to talk to her lawyer,she would let me know.never heard from her.
The following morning a sheriff knocks on my door asks my name and for ID.then hands me a court order. the W filed for emergency temporary custody.in it she claims I refused to return the children(that she already had)unless she moved back into the marital home.I refused my son his medication.I am a danger to myself and my children.the court date is not for another month and here we go again.she refuses for me to see the kids.and in the process she is alienating my children. Does this crap ever get easier.
Sorry for the long post just have to vent.
H 49 W 42 S 19 S 14 S 12 S 8 D 6 M 19 Bomb dropped 2/09 Separated 5/09 still hopeful, praying
thank God marriages don't run as bad as windows does, the last known good configuration wouldn't work for them either LOL!
- I wonder how many people will get this.
Since she has gotten the law involved, unfortunately you have to do the same.
Couple things to consider, if you're a stay at home dad, I'm assuming your wife works, does she make more money than you do, do you collect money from an insurance settlement? It sounds like she is used to pushing you around and getting her way, how long has that been happening? Was this the trend in the marriage, she walked over you and did what she wanted?
I wish I had some great words of wisdom. As best you can, hang in there. Stay on the path you are on. Work with your counselor and work on yourself. I am really sorry that you find yourself in your current situation. I am very new to this but I keep trying to tell myself...take it one day at a time.
Me: 39 H: 39 S: 15 M: 18 years Bomb: 6/3/09 H moved out: 10/15/09 H moved back:5/30/10
Based on your profile it appears that you have several children old enough to speak up in family court. If you can get your kids to tell the judge that you are their primary caregiver and a safe and stable father, it will help your case a lot. You need to do everything you can to keep your W from alienating your children from you. Some courts will make it part of your custody agreement that you can't badmouth each other as parents. Some states you can actually lose primary custody for badmouthing the other parent. You need to find out the laws in your state and if you don't have a lawyer yet it is time to get one.
