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fisherman #1787076 06/22/09 12:49 PM
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Originally Posted By: trumpt
Yes and others can work AND sleep in the truck. Yep, I'm THAT good.


Translation=Boss is out of the office today ?

Originally Posted By: Tript

I'm recovering, my kids ran me ragged, but we had an awesome day.


Me too.....Loved every minute of it......

Mach1 #1787084 06/22/09 12:58 PM
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Isn't that the best. I couldn't have asked for a better day.

Nah...bossman is here, I'm just sneaky like that. ; )


Don't stand still.
Mach1 #1787127 06/22/09 01:45 PM
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Yes - that post was to you because you were the first person to really explain it to me. Or at least try to explain it, I think it does take a lightbulb moment, bc it's a FEELING.

I would love to do coffee & don't mind driving out of my area. I am actually on vacation this week, but one day next week would be good. Maybe we could find somewhere in the Woodbridge area. Let me know!

BTW - not putting too much into this, but when H dropped me off at the airport, he walked up to me & gave me a hug. He hasn't initiated any physical touch with me since Feb! Maybe even Jan.

I think I am actually exuding the changes at this point like you talked about. I don't have to run around saying look at my changes. They are just there! But I know I still need to DO WORK.


Me 36, Him 33
M 11yrs, T 15yrs
S 8, D 7
ILYBINILWY - 1/09
H moves out 10/09
D to be final SOON I HOPE!
Done in VA #1787131 06/22/09 01:49 PM
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Originally Posted By: Hopeful in VA
Wow I really have to change the title of this thread!




I think that is a great idea......something a little more positive.

Maybe even think about joining us over in MLC.

There is a peace that comes from true detaching...Inner peace that only YOU can know.





SLH.....Nice to meet you. Where is your thread ?

Mach1 #1787141 06/22/09 02:06 PM
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Originally Posted By: Mach1
Maybe even think about joining us over in MLC.


That's the place to be...we have the most fun. Just to warn you though, you'll never be the same.


Don't stand still.
fisherman #1787147 06/22/09 02:20 PM
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Hey there
sent you a message
Hope your father's day was awesome!

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did you send me a private message? I don't see anything


Me 36, Him 33
M 11yrs, T 15yrs
S 8, D 7
ILYBINILWY - 1/09
H moves out 10/09
D to be final SOON I HOPE!
Done in VA #1787390 06/22/09 07:50 PM
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Sorry about the confusion....I was telling Trapt I posted on his page.

How are you today?

Here's a stupid joke for you:
How did the farmer fix his jeans ?
With a cabbage patch !

Last edited by stillloveshim; 06/22/09 07:53 PM.
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"I also have to tell you that I went back & read your thread. What a cliffhanger! I could never really find info on how you got your wife back. I felt like I was reading a novel, like when you moved out, I was screaming in my mind - no don't do it! Fortunately I knew there was a happy ending."

I am just impressed you could still find my story. Last time I tried to search this place I had to use keywords and search limiters on Google. Part of my walk was removing myself from here (DB.com). I found that it kept me "in the moment". I just stopped posting. I think it was about 3 months or so. The "How" is what I write about now. For me a big part of it was "Distancing/Detaching" from the situation. I became very "matter of factish". I would not let things (Drama) that she was creating effect me. Once I understood that I could not change her view on things and stopped trying.. things changed. If she told me something was purple.. but it was clearly red.. I just said "Ok.. your right". To a point she had to decide on her own if she wanted to be with me. I am not the greatest things since sliced bread.. but I will assure you I was much better than the people she was choosing to spend time with. In the end she saw that.. on her own. Trust me.. I made my own messes. I screwed up alot. The odd thing is that even if I had posted exactly what happened I don't know that it would "help" others. I really think that you have to "get it" and apply "it" in your own way.

"Wow I really have to change the title of this thread!"

I would recommend that you don't. The mods are supposed to lock the threads and I know they have been a little slack.. but it will give you a reference point once they do. Just like life when they lock it and you move to another.. then make the change.

"Anywho...when you are REALLY & TRULY making your changes, you don't have to worry anymore about - did I do or say the right thing? You just KNOW you did. It's not about doing the right thing anymore "to see if your WAS responds" - you just do it because it feels right & you want to."

Now can you go back and read things now and "see" that this has been said many times.. many different ways? Why did you not "see" it?

"Is this what you guys have been trying to get me to "get"? Please read post above. It's what made me have this revelation."

Life has a way of cluing us in doesn't it? Did you really have to ask the first question.. or did you already know the answer?

"BTW Forrest mutual friend J3B says Hi...."

Tell Jack... Arghhh Matey!

Remember what you learn as you walk along here HVA. At the very least.. no matter what happens.. you will one day look back on this as one of the "best" experiences of your life. As long as you learn from it.. and Do Work.


Relax
Eat
Think
Act normal
React.. Smartly.
Do something different.
Emulate.
Do Work.

Lets get "RETARDED" in here.


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Wow I really have to change the title of this thread!"

Okay thread title remains. Then the documentation of journey remains intact anyways.

Now can you go back and read things now and "see" that this has been said many times.. many different ways? Why did you not "see" it?

Bc you can't "see" it. I don't even know that I could properly explain it to anyone - including myself. Thank goodness I was able to do it when I did. I'm on vacation this week & before I left, I kept thinking - it's great that I'm going on vacation, but my problems will continue to follow me & that sucks. Now I'm completely free!

Life has a way of cluing us in doesn't it? Did you really have to ask the first question.. or did you already know the answer?

No - but I also wanted to let you all know that your hard work paid off. That I got it! Thank you.

The really interesting thing in everything I've gone through so far is that one event could not happen w/o another. Each step of the way has related to the last which related to the one before & so on. I remember back in March thinking at that point I had been equipped with everything I needed to make it on this path & now I look back & think it was hilarious that I thought that. Every single event was a building block for the next.

Journaling - just some random ideas for getting to the point of detachment...

Have fun!
This is part of my previous posts on joy/happiness. Fun is not easy to have during this transition, but it is necessary.
Fun is participatory.
Fun cannot be planned. It has to happen. To have fun happen to you, be a happening person.
You cannot fake fun. You're either having fun or you're not, and only you know the difference.
Play is essentially free exploration of the world. It's how children learn. The enemy of play is fear. When we are fearful, we stop experimenting & so we stop learning & growing.
I would have to say that the first step to getting to the detachment stage had to do with fear. I STOPPED living in fear...fear of the future - I could NOT MAKE MY SPOUSE see things MY way. Once I stopped living in fear, I was free to LEARN & GROW again & that is when I learned to DETACH

To quote my current favorite author Mike Mason in the book Practicing the Presence of People...

"When we're afraid to be fools, we end up being afraid to be anything. It becomes easier to just disappear, to fade into the woodwork. We get to thinking that righteousness means hiding our faults, when really the truth is just the opposite. Pride wants to look good, but humility has no fear of looking bad. People will see our faults anyway; like Paul, we should glory in our weaknesses. Then we'll be free to have fun.

I'd like to make a film of a hundred children at the point when they realize that it is not okay to do certain things in public. I fancy this is the moment when people lose touch with the best playmate they'll ever have, their own inner child.

Are you still friends with the little girl or boy inside? If not, you won't make friends with anyone else either. Other kids will come calling, but you won't be home.

Be home to the child you still are at heart. He or she is your ticket to having fun."

"I was trying to be free, but trying is lying."

Quote by Nelson Mandela "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented & fabulous? Actually, who are you NOT to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. AND AS WE LET OUR OWN LIGHT SHINE, WE UNCONSCIOUSLY GIVE OTHER PEOPLE PERMISSION TO DO THE SAME. AS WE ARE LIBERATED FROM OUR OWN FEAR, OUR PRESENCE AUTOMATICALLY LIBERATES OTHERS."


Me 36, Him 33
M 11yrs, T 15yrs
S 8, D 7
ILYBINILWY - 1/09
H moves out 10/09
D to be final SOON I HOPE!
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