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Joined: Oct 2008
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Actually, Do you have family members to take care of the kid?

I grew up under state care! Never rely on them unless there is a serious emergency.


http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1730055&page=1

Me 36
W 28
Married 02
Separated 9/08
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No there is no one else to do that,
I don't want to use state help at all they can be cluless....Sometimes. I told her I will be helping him if I get late night calls and late afternoon calls. She thinks he's worried about the time she is at work but I told her about the nights she has been gone and thats when he askes me to come over I will be helping him!


Me 40
waw 39
Never formally M
Common law
SD 16
SS 13
Together 9 yrs
bomb 10/2/08
She started dating 11/08
Started P/A 01/09
Contiunes to call R over
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 305
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well,
here we go... I told her I don't want to see her and I have moved on... Now this is what she has been pushing for.. So right after I explian that I want to leave she locks the house so I can't get my things LOL... So this is forcing me to contact her more! I really want out of this and let her know! So now she is really trying to get to me and has said I can't even come walk my dogs... I have found a place to move but may not be able to move as soon as I would like... Now as I was telling her I am over this and I want to just leave she starts saying we are split up and I verified everthing she was saying. Yes it's over and I just want to leave and locking the door has made me contact you more. Also told SS he can't call me any more... Well I am ready to call in some help at this point. I can go to the court house and see about filing and have already talk to the police because she is literly holding my things and my dog hostage... This is getting nuts... She even said don't use the kids as pawns then does exactly that moments later... I knows If I go to court it's going to get uglyer then it is.. This is so far beyond my understanding that I fear for the kids and her as well... Anyone know what I should do to protect the kids and I?

Last edited by pauld2100; 06/21/09 03:08 AM.

Me 40
waw 39
Never formally M
Common law
SD 16
SS 13
Together 9 yrs
bomb 10/2/08
She started dating 11/08
Started P/A 01/09
Contiunes to call R over
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 305
P
Member
Offline
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 305
New devolpment,

I have been dark and I really went dark this time I showed no interest what so ever, I even told her I don't want to see her at all! also I will be with someone else now and gave her back the engagment ring she bought me....

A little over two weeks now and I get an e-mail this morning it reads....



Good morning.

I wanted to apologize for the other day. I changed the locks because you scare me sometimes and I took your emails as threatening. Maybe I misunderstood.

Anyway, I know you’re in a very bad position and I don’t want to hurt you. It makes me very sad when you hurt and I don’t want to add to that pain. You are

Welcome to see the dogs anytime and the kids also, as you already know. I don’t want to fight anymore…


Now I also had a friend of hers that we both know contact me out of the blue yesterday... I thought this was wierd because he was asking about what I am up to... Well I said I am involved with another woman. After she make me leave. Then this morning got the e-mail, coincident I think not... Now my saying another woman well I really don't but have not closed my mind to other woman and if things continue like this I will be with someone else! That is a fact...
Amazing how nice she was for the first time in over 7 months does this seem a little warm to anyone? If she was to stay warm for a while I might try something new...

Input anyone...

BTW the e-mail she reffered to was after my SS called me and asked for help with her, so I did contact her and said if you can't be there I will! for that she changed the locks.... i kept my cool and have always loved my family in the face of many trials inside and out, SHE sould know this by now. I guess the thought that I won't be there this time and i may not be again! That must have scared her more....


Me 40
waw 39
Never formally M
Common law
SD 16
SS 13
Together 9 yrs
bomb 10/2/08
She started dating 11/08
Started P/A 01/09
Contiunes to call R over
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 305
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Member
Offline
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 305

Update,

It's been almost a month since that last encounter... I have not been tring to talk to her at all.. she has not initiated any contact, I had to contact her about our dog... or my dog, I have been gearing toward leaving and not giving her any attention and going out of my way to make sure we dont see each other... The reason I had to contact her was because she has had my dog at the house and she has been letting thing go that he needs grooming and some regular vet visits, so I text her just to ask about him... instead of text me back she calls me now and for the first time in months was asking me how I am doing... I was suprized to hear this but also dint return any concern about her, and she was also asking about my dog. I had taken him for 2 weeks so she also missed him... So I had him taken care of and had to drop him at home beause I still dont have a permanent place to live... This was the first time in over a month that she has seen me and was extra nice... She held me again and I was not really warm at all she is starting to act understanding about how things are, being very attentive also... It is creepy to say the least, I was a bit taken but didnt give much... She was also very thankful offered help with small things and I declined... She seems very worn out and sad ]... anyone have a take on this I know she has been thinking about me allot... I can see she is up to something with the extra friendly and engaging me with attention.. Advice anyone I am struggling with trusting her with anything, I know she is hurting and is starting to see her part in this as well...


Me 40
waw 39
Never formally M
Common law
SD 16
SS 13
Together 9 yrs
bomb 10/2/08
She started dating 11/08
Started P/A 01/09
Contiunes to call R over
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 305
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 305
No replies hhmmmm
ok well I guess you all know I have slipped here and there through this. Maybe I just cant put down in text all of the crazy things that happen and how complex just a basic meeting can be or could be with my W. she has decided to get together with anouter guy! this one at her HS reunion... she is going to have this person move out here from another state, needless to say I was floored. I know I slip sometimes and have been repecful and kind as possible and really nothing has worked! not that I even have a chance to see her much anyway with NC. being kind has done little to nothing, NC also with little results. What ever I slipped on has just added to pushing her away even more. again it is so comlex when I do see her that I guess she really knows how I feel without a word, even when I am putting my best foot forward. Not living at home through this has also taken its toll. She was not afraid to inform me about this latest move. She also admitted she cares about me but not in that way anymore. So far I felt I had done as well as I can for hit after hit from this. I also verified her feelings as well as I slipped on talking about the R and did my best and stopped it quickly as possible. If she really does move this person into the house with the kids, and I dont think the kids even know and if they do I may hear about how they feel about it, so far I can tell that she is not really giving much thought to how they feel about anything! maybe I went too dark! I think I may have, now that she is going this far with this next person, well I have never had to deal with this before. I cant put everything down here in words, her actions when she sees me for a minute or two is still a little confusing but seem to be just being freindly but not close....

Last edited by pauld2100; 08/02/09 09:27 PM.

Me 40
waw 39
Never formally M
Common law
SD 16
SS 13
Together 9 yrs
bomb 10/2/08
She started dating 11/08
Started P/A 01/09
Contiunes to call R over
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 305
P
Member
Offline
Member
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 305

OK, If anyone is reading thses please reply. I think maybe you think I,m not listening but I am I have done all of the suggestions here with some slips not alot of them but it has happened a few times.
It has been months of really not doing anything, I know when I was in the R and living at home I was upset about things. problem is it was over the accident I was dealing with not with my W, she was not as supportive I thought. I did tend to talk to much about things like the accident and other issues we had. I told her how beautiful she was offter, amde suggestions about how we could handle things. She said once that she wanted me to know what she wanted without her telling me. I know our SL was suffering a bit because she thought It would hurt me, even when I told her it wouldnt and that part of our lives was ok, problem is I had lost the desire for sex because of the whole mess I was in with the doctors and being stuck in this lawsuit. It was not because I wasnt attracted to her just to much on my mind and she may have felt I was not capable, she had suggested doing things to jump start it and I was up for it but we never made the effort.
I think it had something to do with sex at this point, she jumped in bed with someone within 3 months... and after all the dating that dint work out now she is planning to bring this person from another state from her HS reunion. I know she had have sex with this guy and maybe it's just me but this whole thing is just seems really weird that she has now decided to move someone in after just spending a few days with this person. the few times I saw her before she went to this she was being pretty cold, I was doing what was suggested and not engaging much with her and I wonder now if the meetings we had were a small opening for me to do something. At this point it really dosnt matter I guess. I really have taken another blow here and this was the worse one so far. I would really like to ask if anyone has advice here, I have used all of the advice. I know this if she does move this person out here he really dosnt know what he's walking into with 2 half way grows kids! I know she will and has been really sweet to OP in hopes of getting someone to move in. Also I know she has thought about allot through out this whole mess, even after all the dating. I guess I just like to think of that as a small sign.... Anyone please


Me 40
waw 39
Never formally M
Common law
SD 16
SS 13
Together 9 yrs
bomb 10/2/08
She started dating 11/08
Started P/A 01/09
Contiunes to call R over
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 305
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 305

Type O
I was tring to say " I know she has thought about me allot through out this mess, after all the failed dating as well...


Me 40
waw 39
Never formally M
Common law
SD 16
SS 13
Together 9 yrs
bomb 10/2/08
She started dating 11/08
Started P/A 01/09
Contiunes to call R over
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