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#1768816 05/17/09 03:03 AM
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Hey all.
It's been a while since I last posted. D was final April 9th. So far I'm surviving, but today has been extremely hard. Probably the worst day so far. I've moved back in with my parents and I have full custody of my kids. Still waiting on my c/s, the state keeps telling me if I haven't recieved it by the end of May to call them back. But this is just ridiculous!
My kids are having a real hard time with this, which is making it extremely difficult for me. D2 climbs into bed with me every night half way thru. And S4 climbs in early in the morning. I wake up to them fighting over the top of me. Not the best way to start the day seeing as I'm not a morning person anyways! lol
S4 has gotten completely out of control. Talking back. Pushing and hitting his sis. Constantly antagonizing her. She returns the favor when he's not. Whining and crying nonstop. Not doing anything we tell him to do. I just don't know what to do anymore.
Today, I think it's really gotten to me because on top of all this, I'm learning the hard way how hard it is to actually start over. I'm still using X's vehicle per the settlement. But I have to get a new vehicle soon. Well, today we had to take back a used car that we were trying to purchase. After having it for a week and haggling with banks trying to get financed, turned out it's not possible to do so and it's only for $10,000. Plus, I've finally caught the bug that's going around.
I was able to talk to my sis about some things, but it turns out that she thinks my life is a complete mess, my kids are crazy and I'm hopeless. And to top it all off, she thinks she's done better than me in all aspects of her life (which she hasn't!)
No job yet, I've applied all over and got one call back. But no one is hiring. (Huge surprise given the economy!)
As far as X is concerned, karma sucks! lol He's not doing good in his school for work. Failing in fact. To the point that they're sending him overseas for a year to reintroduce him to the Navy. He's still with his trash. She's now living in my old house while he is in school in another state.
And it's really funny, because I was doing pretty good. Got the kids registered for Pre-K and Preschool. I've been able to get together with some old friends. It just all snuck up on me over the last couple days.
I'm trying to find a church here. But not any real luck. I need to find some sort of support group also, but again, no real luck. My friends are all in different phases of their lives. One girlfriend is recently D, no kids and crazy work schedule. Another is happily married with a newborn and crazy work schedule. And the other is a single mom with a crazy work schedule. We get to talk every so often, but have a hard time actually getting together because of either their work or our kids.
I guess I just need a break. But I can't get it because X lives 5 hours away right now. And I live with my parents, so they can't take them. And my sis, well...she won't take them because they're crazy and she's too selfish.
I know this is a huge vent posting, but I just had to get it out!


Me- 29
X - 30
M - 7.5 years
Final April 2009
S - 2005
D - 2007


Don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option.

A wise fish once said...Just keep swimming...Just keep swimming!
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These times will come and go, so just keep that in mind. It will always get better, just give it time and yourself a huge hug! The kids will adjust, their lives have been ripped apart too and they don't have the capacity to fathom what's going on, all they know is that they hurt... just like you. Give them love, give them time, let them cry and cry with them when you need to. You'll all get through this. You're doing fine \:\)


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
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hugs)))) will send prayers your way Liv, you will be blessed, these are indeed trying times, and as things take their time to get settled I pray you find a good church and that you find peace even as things around you aren't perfect.
Your sis sounds bitter, such a shame, I hope that from now own you take *any*thing she says with a grain of salt; it's unbelievable that such talk comes from someone who should be supporting you right now not try to tear you down.

As far as the kids, know that there have been times when I want to run away with the circus when my boy and girl fight, argh!!! they are trying to be independent, it is hard. Set your boundaries and mean what you say, no empty treats, reward any good behavior, make behavior charts.


Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2

30something
2kids
survivor of S, MLC, A, D
I have peace in my heart, at last.
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Thanks guys. I know things are going to get better, I just have to take it one day at a time.


Me- 29
X - 30
M - 7.5 years
Final April 2009
S - 2005
D - 2007


Don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option.

A wise fish once said...Just keep swimming...Just keep swimming!
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 182
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Well...
I just got back from a visit with the in laws...X was there for part of it and well...we hooked up. 1 step forward, 2 steps back.
I found out afterwards, he is married. And did so BEFORE we hooked up. Oh yeah, and our D was final April 9...the ink wasn't even dry!!
I also found out that he gave his trash a copy of fake divorce papers, saying it was final before it actually was. And she framed them and they're sitting on the kitchen counter for everyone to see.
Yeah, she's a sick and twisted person to do that and he is just as sick and twisted for allowing her to do that. But hey, a tiger doesn't change his stripes.
It was a good visit with the family, but waaaayyy too much drama. I'm definitely glad to be back home! I was able to get a vehicle and I love it!! Next step is a job.


Me- 29
X - 30
M - 7.5 years
Final April 2009
S - 2005
D - 2007


Don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option.

A wise fish once said...Just keep swimming...Just keep swimming!
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 182
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OP Offline
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Posts: 182
And I forgot to mention...he gave his trash my phone number...even tho I told him not to. She goes off on my friends about me all the time. And is always asking questions about me. I see all these warning signs but I'm not sure what all they add up to. But I am concerned.


Me- 29
X - 30
M - 7.5 years
Final April 2009
S - 2005
D - 2007


Don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option.

A wise fish once said...Just keep swimming...Just keep swimming!
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Oh my!

That's all I've got. shocked


Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
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Originally Posted By: dday101798
Oh my!

That's all I've got. shocked


dayyummmm

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OK - let me be the one to say it...
"What the HELL were you thinking?" He dumps you, leaves you with small children, you have to move back home, he doesn't pay CS, he fakes your divorce, he is MARRIED! And you hooked up???? What about STDs? What about adultery? Do you think it is ok because the 2 of you USED to be married.

I am GOBSMACKED! Again I ask - "What the HELL were you thinking?"

SF

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Hey Ms. Liv..

Your ex sounds pretty opportunistic; fake divorce papers, getting married before being divorced and having sex with his ex (you) then saying he's a newlywed.

Hmmmm...

What are the laws in your state on bigamy?

Kids model after their parents. If you are dealing with things positively, so will they. The emotions of loss will still be there, they'll still need more assurance, firm boundaries to know you care. If they can't get the attention they need, they'll act out.. just to connect.

What him, her say about you is none of your business. What your friends want to share only hurts you more in the long run. Say 'no thanks' and put your energy towards you own growth and the welfare of your children.

*hugs*

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