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So it was just friendly chit chat? Very strange. I have no words of advice. I would just stay the course and like the old saying..."hope for the best, but prepare for the worst"


Me: 46 FWS: 36
Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07
Baby Girl born 3/08
Kicked him out because OW: 7/08
5/10 He realized what he had and lost.
Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
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Yep just chit chat very friendly no tension all was good...I don't get this AT ALL. My guard is obviously up with this since it makes no sense. I'm going to see her again tonight since D has Tball. I really think this is the most confused I've been about our R in the last two years.


Me:40
W: 39
T: 17 years
M: 15 years
S-9
D-6
D final 11/10/2009

"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."



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Quote:
I really can't figure this out and any and all input would be appreciated.


Don't waste energy and time trying to figure her out. What control do you have? You spent how much time worrying about getting the D papers at dinner and it didn't happen.
Know that you are being watched. You can control your thoughts, feelings and actions. Your choice - try to figure her out and all her moves or work on yourself. Do what is healthy and the most productive for you. You can handle it.
Cheers


M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
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That's the thing I'm not "worried" about the papers, I'm expecting them and I'm good or at least as good as possible. It's just last night threw me for a huge loop. I usually read people very well, part of my job, and I have no read on her. I guess as the saying goes whatever will be will be. The good thing is I don't have to act like I'm having fun or enjoy her when we're together because I do and that's totally because of the work I've done/doing on me.


Me:40
W: 39
T: 17 years
M: 15 years
S-9
D-6
D final 11/10/2009

"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."



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I posted this to you on my thread but wanted to make sure you saw it:

I really have alot of respect for you and other addicts in recovery. You realized the problem, did the work, and made the change. Thats why when I read your posts on your thread I want to scream at your wife that life could be a heck of alot worse. You didn't betray her. You got help. I wish my exh was like you.

Just keep doing the right thing!!


Me: 46 FWS: 36
Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07
Baby Girl born 3/08
Kicked him out because OW: 7/08
5/10 He realized what he had and lost.
Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
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Volleydog,

Sounds like a great night, and that your W is starting to have second thoughts, and may be testing the waters with you to see what your response is. It could be a double edged sword - maybe she fears loss of control because you've dropped the rope, or maybe she truly is seeing changes in you and that has started to change her heart.

My only advice would be to keep doing what you are doing, positive PMA guy when you see her tonight, let her engage you and don't pursue her. If she doesn't (which is likely, generally a draw back after an advance) just be the happy go lucky volleydog living in the moment enjoying your D's Tball game. Like coach said - Know that you are being watched.


Me46 W45 T21/M17 S13, 12
ILYBINILWY06/08 WAW 10/08
http://tinyurl.com/cqzew6
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SO2...Thank you very much for the kind words, I wish you could scream at my W also :):)...I wish I could tell you exh how much better his life could be.

song...Thanks....I'm just going to go and have a great time no matter what, never let them see you sweat...

My boss who's been helping through this thinks I should just ask her what's up with last night...I don't think that's the right approach to take yet but the other advice he's given has been spot on.


Me:40
W: 39
T: 17 years
M: 15 years
S-9
D-6
D final 11/10/2009

"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."



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Why not just let last night be what it was? Don't jump at every crumb you get. Be cool, confident and in control. Let her come to you. I get my cat to jump in my lap by ignoring her. If I call my cat she ignores me and acts all "whatever."

Us male LBS tend to be like dogs. All excitable, eager to please, and devoted. Not time for that right now. Need to be mysterious and composed. You can handle it.
Cheers


M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
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Yep you're right Coach...The hard part is I finally had my mind wrapped around the fact that limbo was over, it still very well could be...It's just last night gave me a sliver of hope so my mind is doing cartwheels right now.


Me:40
W: 39
T: 17 years
M: 15 years
S-9
D-6
D final 11/10/2009

"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."



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Volleydog,

What is the simplist explanation? Your W has feelings for you still. What she wants to do with that is try... how easy will that be? you can guess that one. Definitely testing waters and watching your reaction. Just be yourself with her - sure. Let her know how you felt about the other night. Expect her to be her - unsure. Let it be ok.


Me late 50's
M 9/06
D 4/11

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