A New Decade - Part 2

[MsMelancoly]

Just journaling my thoughts & occurances of late. Yesterday, as planned my xh showed up to move his things. I was rather surprised. He couldn't get his friends truck so I offered my car for a few loads. Now I would guess, only half of his things are here.

Before the moving started we chatted. I told him it was 5 years ago that he moved here. And that our R lasted 3 years, which was par for the course for each of us. Which is really true. I don't think either of us have stayed in an R for anymore than 3 yrs. My xh said, with a pouty face, he didn't want to talk about it.

One interesting thing he said was that his former BMF told him that former ow was using his last name for her email address. xh said he didn't know why she would be & would have no benefit from it & wondered if it was really true. I said I didn't know why, but then had little knowledge of their R. This was quite strange, cuz it was a 1st seemingly addimssion by xh that ow was just more than a friend, as he always claimed she was. Also told him that his SIL called about his things there & SIL said another old GF called wanting her drawings she left w/xh. xh became a bit agitated, said he deleted former GF email & said he didn't have them anymore & that was over 10 yrs ago. As I recall, this GF was just another friend as well.

All in all the day went ok. While I helped carry things, I told my xh that this seems to bring a finality to it all. My xh said he didn't think so. ????? Later on, when we had a drink, I asked him: I'm just curious, but you left because you were unhappy, have you been happy since then? He said no, not yet, I'm working on it. I said, you're not happy?? I was quite surprised! And then, I backstepped & said that is understandable.

Well, we shall see if he shows up on Thursday to get more of his things as planned. Or if I have scared him away for a bit. He also mention about helping decorate for Halloween. I said sure, if you want to. Can't say I was overly excited about it, cuz, well, he is still unreliable with his offers & turning them into action.

Xh was impressed with the garage I'm having built, almost done now. Yeah!! The electricians were here, while he was & I ended up chatting with one of them a bit, maybe a bit too much. Oh, well.

And the ride continues - although no longer on a roller coaster, as my emotions have shut down.

[JCJ]

Ms M, he is one confusing chap! Although I guess that is not unusual for the WAH's round here.

How do you feel? Do you still want him to continue to come round? Do you want him as a friend?

The garage sounds exciting!

[MsMelancoly]

Hey Julia, Good to see you! I expected you would be going dark on us for a bit.

Yes, he does seem to be a confusing chap! And you are right how all WAS are. Just goes to show, how you really don't know how someone thinks or feels. Being friends with him, at this point would be nice. Not getting my hopes up though.

It was funny a few things I had out that he took, he said, you told me not to buy this and this. Yep I did - but said nothing yesterday. Around & around he goes, where he stops nobody knows! 5 years ago before moving here, he cleaned out his clutter/things in his life & now he's doing the same aalll over again.

[MsMelancoly]

An update for me. Since I last posted my xh came over 2 times and we organized & moved the majority of his things out of my house. I was surprised he showed up. He actually rented a moving van & filled it with mostly toys & collectibles. He didn't really remember he had so much sh!t! That was kinda funny. He then said one should only collect what one can display. Oh, we had a good laugh over that one! Our time together was enjoyable. I thought I would be sad, but really wasn't. Not quite sure why?

Yesterday he showed up to help put up Halloween decorations. Again, I was surprised & happy & we had a good time.

Today I emailed him, asking if he would be interested in being hired by me, to put up my fence. He said, yes & that his old BMF, K (from 2+ years ago) is hiring him for some remodel work. That is good, because K, is a really good man. So my xh is now reconnecting with the good friends he threw away when this whole mess started. (Now that the loser friends he chose 2 yrs ago are no longer part of his life).

I find it all very interesting!

[dday101798]

Hi MsM,

Getting along is ALWAYS a good thing.

You know, you pop in from time to time, so honestly I'm not 100% up to speed here, but what if he's reached his personal epiphany? They say WAH are more likely to want to come back than WAWs. What if he's slowly coming around?

[MsMelancoly]

Hey dday, thanx for stopping by. Always love a man's POV. My sitch speed is a turtles pace so ya haven't missed much

What if he's coming around? Well, I try to push that out of my head. Since D the bar has been raised. Yet, I am happy to see he is making positive changes in his life.

[MichelleLT]

Long time no see, again. Lol.

Glad to hear you guys are working on the friendship thing.

I'm sure getting his stuff is taking away some of the pressure and awkwardness from his point of view.

He really is confused lol.

Glad you aren't letting it get you down though!

[native]

'Since D the bar has been raised.'

I know what you mean. I bet you, like myself, have had a lot to think about regarding what we want out of a partner. And while the WAS is usually critical of the LBS, finding fault and excuses for leaving, now we find ourselves being more critical (in a good way)and expecting to be treated better than what we got.

I really want a little 'respect'. How 'bout it Aretha? (Franklin,in case you don't know the oldies. )

[MsMelancoly]

Hey Michelle, long time no see - thanx for stopping by! Yep, I think my xh is still trying to fight his way out of the cardboard box he put himself into ...... now if he could only find one of his swords to help fight his way out! Well, maybe he is - LOL

[MsMelancoly]

Hey native, Wow - how very strange as I was posting to you - you were posting to me - do do do do.

Yes, I know the oldies. Totally agree with your statement. And I know a lot of what my xh said when he left was a bunch of BS, because it all was quite fixable with simple communication & willingness to change. Yet, neither one of us found the correct tools we needed at the moment.

Live & learn - or spend the rest of your life kicking yourself down for the mistakes you made. That is definately, your own choice.