I really hate to rain on any guys parade, especially when it comes to a new flame, but did it occur to you that maybe she's not as ready for you as you are for her? I mean, I get nervous on a date where she's bashing her ex or says things like... "He's mad at me and we don't talk, well I'm mad at him to". It's especially troubling when a child is involved. I only say something because I dated a Woman like this for a couple of months. I couldn't help but wonder if she really wasn't still stuck in the past. She was the one that left him but they really had trouble communicating for their daughter's sake. I felt like I was in the middle of something I didn't want to be in. I told her I think it would be best if we not date anymore. I had not slept with her up to that point, because that feeling was nagging at me and I didn't want it to progress to far before feelings were hurt.
That past relationship has to be reconciled between the two of them. There has to be an understanding of mutual cooperation and respect between the two of them, or there is going to be trouble. Just my humble opinion based of DAM experience. Be careful!
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
Thank you all for the excellent feedback! I've been thinking about a lot of things since my last post and I do think I'm chasing too much at times as well as I'm more ready for her than she is me.
I've read the stuff from De Angelo and while I don't think I'm a complete "wuss" I do think I need to be more independent w/a lot of things.
Gucci loafers is dead on w/quite a bit and I've actually been doing more of those, but consistency is my enemy. Also, the comments by astimegoeson do resonate as well. And of course, there is Kerry, my man, who always has my best intentions in his posts.
So I'll be posting more specifics either tomorrow or Wednesday as I'm heading to bed now and will be focused on finishng up some contract work in the next 24-48 hours which will force me to put my DB life on hold a bit.
Until then, thanks gents, and I'll be chiming in soon.
I havent posted to you in a while (sorry!). I am so glad you were able to move forwards with your life. I dont have any dating advice for you, but you seem to have your boys on side here to help with that !! So what were these specifics? Al xx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Well, to say the least, it has been an eventful 2 weeks, so I've been a bit lax on the postings. First off, the contract work I did took far more time than I'd ever expected, so I was reeling from spending hours on it and then more hours trying to recover from it. Money is money, but the experience has been a good lesson to me.
On the GF front, we're doing well and the posts by some of the men have made me stop and think quite a bit. Concerning cancelling Vegas, I was actually glad we didn't go and the cancellation was due to the fact that GF and her friend we were supposed to share a room with had a bit of a falling out that has continued through this past weekend, so it was great we skipped it.
However, I also know that I'm ahead of GF on the relationship curve and we'll need to continue to evaluate things on that front. By nature, my being a Scorpio tends to have me want to connect and "settle in" at a fairly quick pace, while GF being a Sagittarius, tends to be very careful in the stages before committing to a serious R. So, I need to be patient b/c we're supposed to match up very, very well if we can make it through the "start up" phase. Well see.
I've not been able to work out b/c I'm busted up from playing softball. My surgically repaired knee is killing me, and my quads and hammies on both legs are throbbing, so I'm starting to realize what age can do to a body that is allowed to get out of shape. GF and I are loving playing, but we were both far too optimistic about our abilities to step right in where we left off some 10 years ago w/little to no problems. As I age, I need to prepare better which means more ice and more stretching.
Ok, to try and bring things around w/GF, we spent the weekend in the hospital as she developed a very serious staph infection which required two surgeries. I was the one who she wanted to be by her side and I made sure to take care of her and advocate for her the best I could. All is well now, but she had a rough weekend and as a result, my sleep is pretty much off and I'm struggling through today.
On the X front, she was very cold, rude and dismissive and I called her on it. Her 1st reply was defensive and attacking again, but she did send some sort of "friendlish" e-mail wanting to bury the hatchet a bit. However, she's still herself and while I'll clarify my points and challenge some of the things she tried to present (in a non-attacking way), she's still going to be who she is at all times. I do try to keep my opinions to myself and not take the bait w/her, but every once in a while I do feel I need to reassert what my boundaries are with her, I realize that I won't be able to get too far w/her too often, but it does make me feel so much better to stand up to her.
The key is to pick my battles w/X wisely, which I do feel like I'm doing.
So, I'm doing ok. I'm tired. I'm sore. Otherwise, I'm happy. I like what is going on w/GF and I'm seeing her let down her guard more and more each time we're together.
I've got to log off this computer now and let the next teacher come in for his class. I'm going to try and avoid falling asleep during my prep periods.
Now I'll also try to catch up on all the happenings of my friends here on DB. Sorry I was away, but I'm glad I'm back now and I hope my check ups on you will find you doing well also.
