Need some advise from the Piecing side

[Hope4us]

Hey all. I posted a question on my Piecing thread and seeing as how this board gets a whole lot more traffic and I need some opinions before the end of the day, I thought I'd ask here too.

I stopped by W's office today and she took that freakin glass down. WooHoo.

For those of you who don't know my sitch, W's A has ended but she's been hanging on to a couple of things from the A, one being a glass that OM brought her back from one of his family vacaitons before I knew of the A.

So now that she's taken the glass down (and no, I'm not so stupid to think she threw it away, but at least it's out of sight), do I thank her for doing that?

Something along the lines of "I saw that you got rid of that glass and I just wanted to say thanks. It really means a lot to me that you are being considerate of my feelings in the matter and I appreciate it".

What do you think? Praise good behavior, correct?

[kat727]

Personally, I would. By letting her know that you noticed it reaffirms to her that your attention was always drawn to it and that it did bring up some bad feelings.

I am so glad that things are going better, you really deserve it.

hugs, kat

[sandycay]

I wouldn't say anything. Every time you bring it up.... she feels guilt, and then she has to think about OM. If she says anything to you about it.... then of course tell her your thoughts. It's just a glass.... your more focused on it than she is. Let her take of these things in her own time.

[Hope4us]

Kat, I'm feeling pretty strongly in that direction. I appreciate your comments as always.

SC, I appreciate your comments, but it's not "just a glass". It's a constant reminder of OM and their (and I use this word grudgingly) relationship. If it was "just a glass" then she would have got rid of it a long time ago when I shared with her how it made me feel.

I just see more good than bad coming out of me thanking her for getting rid of it. To acknowledge she did something taking my feelings into account when it comes to the A is a big deal. I just see it as a way to acknowledge that she did something for ME in all this and so far, this is probably the first tangible thing I can say she's done concerning the A that I wanted. To not let her know I appreciate it I think is a missed step in us being thoughtful to each other. If I thank her, she may be encouraged to do more, but if I don't, she may think "F it, he didn't even care to acknowledge my sacrifice, I'm not doing anything else he wants".

Yes, I'm sure she feels guilt everytime I bring it up. But now that she's gotten rid of it, this would be the last time I'd bring it up and it would be a GOOD comment, not a bad one.

[InLikeFlynn]

I would...just how you say or bring it up I am not sure!

[Puppy Dog Tails]

H4U,

If you honestly think she hasn't even gotten rid of the damned thing, why would you thank her?

I think it's up to HER to demonstrate to YOU that she's pitched the thing, not the other way around.

It also smacks of "overpraise" to me just in general, considering her Mon-Fri behavior.

Puppy

[fightingirish]

Hope,

I have to agree with puppy.. I wouldn't say a word. Although you are very happy about it, it took her how long to do it?

I would let it go, this is only maybe the first "real" thing she has done for you my friend...