like i said though just thoughts... my stich just gets worse so take what I say as you want. I guess at least i have all my kids now. its too bad she is getting worse
Sorry to to hear that your sitch keeps getting worse, as does mine. My prayers are with you.
I'm at a point now where the W won't talk to me, won't read my emails - not even any contact about S3. In her mind she just wants a D and acts like I don't exist, amazing how over a weekend things changed between her saying she is willing to try, and looking up marriage therapy to not speaking to me. Makes me wonder if there is an outside influence guiding her with what to do.
All I have been able to do now is act as if, and focus more on GAL and focus on S3.
I spent the day with S3 today - he was supposed to be with my parents and they dropped him off with me. First thing he said to me was "Am I sleeping here daddy?" Broke my heart. It was so hard to tell him not tonight. Had a great time with him anyway. When Grandma came to get him, he didn't want to go. He cried to stay saying that he didn't want to go with her and see mommy. Brought tears to my eyes. I feel so bad for him, he wants to be with me all the time. He's funny - he tells me he is trying to come back home and live with me, ask hum if its just going to be me and him and he says no mommy too. That he is working on it. I would never imagined a 3 year old be as smart as he is and noticing every little thing that her does.
Had to tell him today that he won't see me for 2 weeks, he asked why - told him I was going away - he said he wanted to come or I can't go. Told him I'll be back before he knows it, and he said he is going to run to vegas to be with me. I have a feeling that the next 2 weeks without seeing him are going to be really hard.
Me 35 W 30 S 3 M 7 : T 13 yrs Separated 2/20/09 My Story
Hi LHA, I think its pretty normal for them to vacillate. My H told me 2 months ago that he wanted to try, things went great for about three weeks and he dropped off the face of the earth for a few weeks, later he told me he had been having doubts. Hes just starting to contact me again over the last little bit.
I hope that you can have a great time on your vacation. I think it will be good for you, definately GALing in a big way! I hope that you can be in the present and enjoy yourself. Get some great souveniers for S3!
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
I also learned a new word. Thanks for the encouragement everyone. My friend and I just got to Las Vegas today. I didn;t realize how far of a drive it was from NY to here. Thank goodness I'm flying home.
Right after leaving at the end of last week towards the end of first night of driving, my parents call and say W wants to go to the house to take care of dog and bird. They told her that its alright they will take care of them and watch the house - 1 of them is sleeping there nightly.
The ride across the country so far was hard to keep my mind off W. Second night on road, I made the mistake of calling to talk to S3 - forgot about hour difference and got crucified for calling so late and upsetting S3. Then got told to fly home day after getting to vegas to get on with our D. Just tried to calm W down and talk like a rational person - didn't work. Tried asking her why she wanted to watch the pets all of a sudden - only answer she would give me is I don't think its fair to your parents - I told her they don't mind. She left off by telling me not to talk to her ever again - OK bye.
Next day alarm monitor calls - house alarm set off - had police dispatched and sent parents over to see what was going on. W tried to get into house - hhmmm... I wonder why the alarm and pass word were changed before leaving. Well she didn't get to take anything - although I can't legally keep her out of the house it did deter her for now. My parents told her if she needs anything they will be happy to come over and let her in.
Should be interesting to see what awaits for me when I return home - especially since I will be gone for a week longer then what the W knows about. After all its time that I do things and see things that I've always wanted to do - and now I'm doing them for me. Sounds selfish to me - maybe - but you know what I think I need some real time for me at this point in time.
Me 35 W 30 S 3 M 7 : T 13 yrs Separated 2/20/09 My Story
Everything was great while I was away - except for alarm incident - no contact with wife - i was in a good mood all the time also.
Not even being home for 2 days - everything starts off where it left off - spent Friday catching up pn house chores - Saturday with S3 for a little while - W said she will get him at 1pm on her way home from work - K no plans just played outside with him. 1pm comes and goes - no sign/call. 2PM call W - i'll be there in 30 mins - Ok - would've been nice to know - I could've taking him out for day then. She gets there in 5 minutes - S3 and I outside on porch - trying to avoid her coming in house - turns car off and right into the house - and from there just drives me insane.
Told her that she makes me so angry now, and I feel sick when she is around. She says hello to dog and bird and leaves. Comes back 2 mins later - accuses me of taking her cell phone - told her i don't have it - you're lying - told her maybe you left it home - try calling the number - no ring in or out of house.
about 30 mins later - she calls me from her cell - i don't answer - she leaves a voice mail apoligizing for accusing me, and that she is sorry that she makes me feel the way I do. I never called her back.
Now today she calls me at 5:30 pm - can i drop S3 off there in morning and you bring him to school - sure - if its easier I'll come and pick him up in morning. No I'll drop him off - fine. Did you get my message yesterday? Yes - trying not to let her push my buttons - she continues to try and bring up things what did you do last night and today - as if I'm going to tell her anyway. Then she's back on the subject asking if I still hate her? just let out a deep breathe - thought to myself... I don't - never will.. Said to her anything else? no - alright have a great night - hung up phone -
the morning should prove interesting when she drops S3 off now.
Me 35 W 30 S 3 M 7 : T 13 yrs Separated 2/20/09 My Story
well i guess at least she is showing interest..very glad you are holding you stand! thats the hard part for me. they do the are you mad? ect then you give in after some nice talk..
mine started really pulling my strings how she missed me big hug where she would not let go then bam! 180 back to how we wont work cant ect.. im a ass and so on.. so i broke off contact again and its only been a few days. I plan to stick it out this time. she needs a wake up call and i think me as a friend just wont work. not now at least. I want to see how long i can go with this... i know i will be on these boards for support
You are in my prayers WL2009 - I wish you the best of luck and everyone else who finds themselves in these situations.
Yesterday was what would've been our 8th wedding anniversary - I have been in a funky mood days prior to coming up on it. Decided that even though we have not been living together for 6 months now that I was going to give her a card - but not directly.
Bought an anniversary card - one that I found very fitting for my feelings - since I have been spending everyday with S3 since being unemployed (loving the bonding between us), I decided the best way to give it to her was in her back pack without saying anything to her. Got read the riot act by her for trying to teach him to swim in aunt's pool without his life vest - just shrugged it off, telling her I was right there the whole time, then S3 brings up went in the ocean with me a couple of days ago - more life vest issues - just re-assured the W that I had him, and was holding him and teaching him how to use the waves. Where the life guards - yes - and I have more confidence in myself then I do the guards. How badly that I wanted to ask her how is it ok for S3 to go skinny dipping in pool with cousin F7? I just let it go, didn't have the fight in me. Leaned in window to give s3 kiss bye - W says how bad she would like to drive right now and run me over - that's how you feel then do it. Not worth spending life in jail.
So today when she comes by S3 and I are setting up a tent in back yard, he wants to sleep out in it. She helps set up the tent - voluntarily - guess it was pretty bad that i couldn't remember how it went. So in the middle of setting it up, she says I got your card - I totally forgot about it, and answered what card.. brief silence.. oh that card - Couldn't get a reading on her about it - couldn't see her facial expression - I guess the fact that she acknowledge it is possibly good, or she'll just find a way to use it against me later in court. Nothing else said about it, she continued to help me set up the tent and then said maybe S3 can sleep over tomorrow night and stay in it - that's a surprise to me, after all it's not my time with him. When S3 was in car W shows me that she found 3 jobs that she wants to send my resume to and asked if it would be OK. Told her whatever you feel is best.
Wished her a good night - It's so hard knowing that I want our R and M to work out, and knowing that she has been on dates with other guys and just doesn't care - or so she acts. Because she constantly reminds me that this is not easy for her and that I have no idea what she is going through. I wish I did.. I wish she would talk to me and let me know what is happening in her life - maybe then a friendship can start to rebuild everything slowly between us.
Sorry if I rambled at all - been having problems with thoughts and emotions the past few days.
Me 35 W 30 S 3 M 7 : T 13 yrs Separated 2/20/09 My Story
