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Okay, first thing to do is take a deep breath.

Next step is to forget what he said. Our WAS's have a tendency to blame us for their own unhappiness. They'll say that "we said something" to make them upset, yet not tell us what that is. My W's been doing that when we S'd.

There's no sense trying to figure it out or overanalyzing it. Just calm down and try not taking blame for something you didn't even know you did wrong. It could just be his own anger and frustration. Don't let it become yours.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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Kissak,

Why would he refuse to tell you what you did? My guess is that you are not paying him enough attention and this is his way of getting back at you. You didn't DO anything. He knows how to push your buttons and for whatever reasons today decided to do just that.

Let it go, girl. He will eventually tire of the games if you refuse to play. Be breezy when dealing with him. Don't give him the satisfaction of knowing he got to you.

He can't tell you because there is truly nothing to tell.

Hang in there and don't forget to breathe.
*hugs*
~ swl


Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear. {Henry Wadsworth Longfellow}
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I was about to say the same thing SWL said so I won't repeat.

Hmmmm.....he didn't INSULT you when he had an A and walked out? smile Hey kettle....you're black. Awww...thanks pot.....


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

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kissak Offline OP
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yea, a friend of mine said "he insults you every day just by being around". You are all right. I think he really just wanted to make me feel bad for not paying him some attention.

I have really been in a mood today.

I honestly think that I know what people in marriages feel like when one of them decide to leave....only mine has left, but I feel like Im the one to say enough already.

I cant keep living in limbo. I have been torturing myself lately with trying to decide what to do. I mean, I am still married to him and he has made no effort or showed any interest in filing for a divorce. So, he goes about his life talking to other women, looking for someone "to spoil" as one of his profiles said on a dating website....(YEAH RIGHT!!!) while he has me sitting here wondering what is going to happen.

He is still married to me!! He could have gotten a divorce 2 months ago! Yet I sit here, still getting texts from the man, wanting to say hello all the time, asking what Im doing...then fussing when I dont talk to him! I have had 2 and a half years of this already! Im so tired. I just wish he would go away some days....yet, it makes me cry when I think about letting go.

Im always asking myself if maybe I just want to "win". Is that it? Could that be why im holding on so long???

I dont know.

Then tonight he goes shopping for the kids and me! We are going off on a vacation this weekend, so he wanted to buy us some things to take with us...he even bought me something. It was totally out of character for him....

anyway...im just soooo ready for my vacation...I need to get away from here and clear my head some.....Im emotionally exhausted lately...and having my kids home from school with me all summer and taking them to work with me is just not working!


Kissak

"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3
M-37 H-37
S-10, D-15
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First bomb- 12/23/06
Came and went too MANY times!
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Quote:
Im always asking myself if maybe I just want to "win". Is that it? Could that be why im holding on so long???


I could tell you , you sound just like me. Any normal person can see something is not right..What he says on his website. It's like they broke into another personality.

You are right for being emotionally exhausted.

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kissak Offline OP
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Thank you kiki....thank you for making me feel like maybe Im not crazy....lol. Yes, Im emotionally exhausted and whats bad is that my H can tell. He keep asking me why I wont tell him whats wrong....all I can say to him is "do you always tell me?". That shuts him up for a little while.

There is just this little voice I keep hearing in the back of my mind that just keeps saying "be still".


Kissak

"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3
M-37 H-37
S-10, D-15
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First bomb- 12/23/06
Came and went too MANY times!
Gone again 10-25-10
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Listen to that little voice. smile


_________________________________________
M:42
H:40
S:18
M:20yrs/together 21yrs
Bomb:9/08 ILYBNILWY
Sep:9/18/08 "ow" :25
Filed:11/18/08
D:12/8/08
M:Different 26 yr. old 7/09.
Newborn 4/10
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oh, we are both in it at this point, to win it...but everyone tells me thats the wrong way to look at things.

i know we cant help it.

i have a question, what if u asked him to come home? when was the last time he was home? and what happened that he left again?

forgive me, i havent read all of your threads...

you and i have been at this the same amount of time, so i know how u feel.

only, mine filed for divorce last year, did nothing, and now i got a letter from the attorney again,,,,all while he is still all over me.

they are weird. its that simple.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
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If by in it to win it you mean to become the best you can be that is fabulous. If you mean getting your spouse back at any cost you may very well end up with the booby prize. Be ever mindful of your goals.

Kissak - You know he hasn't changed. He is still yanking your chain any way he can. Find a way to keep your head above water and ignore his obvious tactics. He sucks you in, tires of it and then drops you. Lather.Rinse.Repeat. Stop allowing him to engage you. It isn't worth your time.

If he ever gets his collective $hit together and approaches you, you will know without a doubt that he has changed. Until that day continue to control what you can {which is yourself and your actions} Keep moving forward. Keep smiling.

Have a lovely time on your vacay. Relax and rejuvenate your spirit.

Don't forget to breathe.
*hugs*
~ swl


Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear. {Henry Wadsworth Longfellow}
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Yeah.......what she said!!!!


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

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