I know what to do. Just need the support.

[noedphi]

She will never believe I am being fair even if I rolled over and let her have her way. It is going to be hard not to get upset, But I have not been upset yet with her since the bomb. So I Know I will get through, no problem.

She is thinking I will take the big screen and she will take the fridge. But I am "No" The big screen is on the card I am still paying for and the fridge was from sears which was put on to a card I am also paying on. Thats just one example.

I am the co-signer on her car And I am going to let that ride for now. I need to think about this one for a while.

I know by the end of this she is going to hate me even more. Which is ok with me, Now. I think I am going to be more than fair. She won't think so. I am over this B.S. with her. If it works out in the future, fine. But I am not holding my breath. I need to look out for my self Right now. Thats all she is doing. Looking out for herself. I am a good guy. I deserve better than this. So I aint taking any crap from her. I am always "nice" to her. She is the one being a BEE EYE TEE SEE AICH to me.

[karen43]

She will never believe I am being fair even if I rolled over and let her have her way. It is going to be hard not to get upset, But I have not been upset yet with her since the bomb. So I Know I will get through, no problem.

I get upset sometimes, that's what posting here is for: vent here. I think you're right that no matter what you do it won't be seen as fair unless you give in on everything. But you know what's fair, and if you do the right thing, then that's what's really important. It sounds like you're in a good place right now. Are you keeping yourself busy with friends and GALing or whatever? Karen

[noedphi]

Karen,
I am keeping busy. Might not be getting a life per se, but I have way to much to do as in getting ready to move, selling what I can and finding a place to even have time to deal with her unless it pertains to something I need. I love myself now. She will never see the changes, she is in her own MLC world. I will just have to leave her there.

[noedphi]

Funny we have not said 2 words to each other in 3 days. So I get a text from her. asking Please get some milk on your way home. I dont understand why she thinks I would or should.

I just dont have time to deal with her any more. I am not getting enough sleep with whats going on in my life with out her. I am so dark I dont know if she is even around or not. So it kind of blows me away when she says anything to me.

I still include her in my prayers. I pray she finds herself someday. I found myself. Its great when you notice other women looking at you. It must mean the person I was, is finally coming back. Cant wait to get out. On my own away from her.

[CushKart]

Babysteps bro!

[noedphi]

what is her problem? When we are in the same room together she does not say a word to me. And I don't care. I got a life and it does not involve her in any way. Last time we talked she said she does not like me does not want to work on a friendship ect.... Does not hurt anymore. So I am good there.

The thing I don't get is 5 text messages in 2 days and 4 were yesterday. 1st 1 telling me our tax appointment was ok Sunday. Next asking to get milk on the way home from work. Next was changing our taxes to Monday. Next was asking if I got milk and if I wanted her to pick up food for me.

And today she asked if she picked up oil for her car if I would change it for her. The thing with that last question for me is she used to kid about why she married me. She used to say she married me cause I was a mechanic. Ya ha ha. So if she married me for that, what makes her think I am touching her car now that we are not married.

[JDOllie]

It is very very typical - part of the reason why many people recommend going dark. It actually gives the WAS something to miss!

Picking up milk, in my opinion, is fine - it is a family thing. Changing her oil is fine - if it saves money for the family or is a family thing at all. But if you do it, just do it, and don't say anything about it. Accept thanks, and move on.

Even if you do ANYTHING of it, just keep up the dark. I did 30 days, and W was almost a different woman afterward - I responded, and she turned back into a hag.

Just protect yourself - I think there are two types of WAS:
1. The ones that are biotches - and if you go dark, they will either break away from you completely because you're not bending to their whims, or helping them out.
2. The ones that aren't - and they will discover how much they care about you when you go dark, and it may be the catalyst to change

You need to determine which your W is, and act appropriately.

[noedphi]

I did get the milk because I was already going to the store. If I was not going already I would not have stopped. I dont know how to read her. She texted me about changing her oil today, but when she got home tonight has not said anything about anything to me at all. I decided if she wants anything she needs to talk to me about it. She will have to initiate conversation either on the phone or in person. I am no longer going to answer any text messages.

I dont know which type she is. But being dark is the best for me. It does not matter which out come I get from her. What ever god has in store for me will happen no matter what. I am starting to live my life, If she wants to be a part of it she will need to talk to me. I am happy with myself. Her loss if she does not see the happiness she could have with me.

[noedphi]

Wow I can not believe what just happened to my head. I thought I was so done with all this drama. I have wanted nothing to do with her for a while now. Been living my life accepting that it was over.

So since we will be moving soon I have been trying to go through stuff and through out as much crap as possible. So I am cleaning out the filing cabinet in the garage and I come across 3 cards she gave me when we were first dating. And some pics.

I almost had a real bad panic attack. Me! I never have had a panic attack. WTF Where did these feelings come from. I want them gone! I want them gone now. Its not fair that I have this in my head again. All the hurt just came back!!!!!! I just want to scream! I want to scream at her!! This sucks. I was moving on. I did not want her back. Now I got these feelings I dont want. Just pisses me off.

[noedphi]

Now I am rethinking everything. I feel going dark was pushing her away. And I thought that is what I wanted. So I have been real dark. But now I dont know. I just dont know. This is the woman I love more than anything and is the woman that I now hate more than anything also. I am confused once again