Hi everyone! I have a question for anyone who can help. Ok 2 years ago my H dropped the bomb (ILYBNILWY)I found out shortly after the bomb that he had a girlfriend. My H is 36 and his girlfriend was 50. We started the D and at first it was moving along pretty quickly but now my Lawyer said that she has been trying to get in touch with H's lawyer since October and she gets no response she asked me if I want to just wait or we could get tough and take that to court because they wont respond - I told her to put it on hold because my H has been very nice to me and maybe he has changed his mind. Anyway H and OW are no longer together since like July or August and he has been really nice to me including buying me gifts and talking to me but no relationship talk. My question is do you think that maybe H has changed his mind about D? And if so why wont he talk to me about relationship? Any help would be so appreciated. Thank you for listening!
it's nice to meet you! Thank you for sharing your story. Wow, you have been very patient already for 2 years! Congratulations! This sounds like a positive development in your situation for sure!
Just a few quick thoughts. Maybe your H has changed his mind about the d--but maybe he is not ready to come home yet. maybe he wants to be back with you but he is still organizing himself inside and processing. It is normal for the WA, when their relationship with the OP falls apart, to need to grieve over that for a while. Maybe he is "checking you out" but still not sure what he wants. So--if he isn't talking to you about the relationship YET, it might be because he isn't ready.
my advice would be--keep doing what you are doing-- continue to be patient and warmly welcome his attention to you. but don't press for an R talk--just make him feel comfortable to come to you when HE is ready for that. does that make sense? In the meantime, have fun!! Dance, eat chocolate, take a hike, hang out with your girlfriends, buy yourself a hot new outfit--do things that delight you and full your own heart with joy. It will show!
congratulations on your DB'ing again. You have worked very hard to get to this point. Pat yourself on the back!!
Thank you so much Transformer! I love your advice and it really made me feel good so thank you for that. I'm going to do exactly what you said I'm going to let him organize himself and hopefully he can get it together. I've been on this site for almost 2 years and although I have gotten a lot of good advice I think you gave me the best advice and in such a nice and warm way. You are the best and you really made me feel good! Thanks again and I hope we can talk again.
I believe he's testing things out since he's no longer with OW. Be careful though. He may be on the rebound and is looking at you to be the one he rebounds with.
You want to be sure he's sincere in his efforts. If not, he'll take off again when someone else comes along.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
