Guys what is to make of this. I have improved on calling my xh and trying to take everyones advice. I did speak with him recently about our son spending the night over the weekend. I told him I was expecting company and he made some remark (I cant even remember). Anyway he told me that he was going to pay me back for all the times I called him when he had company (girsl) over. I told him I was sorry for all those times and I regret it, but please dont bother me. I understood how he felt now that I have moved on with my life. I told him the guy (whom he knows, and has never liked) would get upset and I didnt want that. My xh said he didnt care what he thought and he would stomp his a-- in the ground! I told him the guy was already upset about what I was going thru and I didnt want any trouble. My xh told me he would even come to my door and meet him face to face. That he would not want to mess with him. What in the world is happening? In the same breath my xh says GOOD GOOD be happy go on have sex with him. and then says BUT he dont wanna mess with me. That if he had something to say to him, he would meet him face to face. My xh also broke it off with the young girl he was seeing, said he told her to go @#$#$ herself! She apparently made me pretty mad, he said he wasnt putting up with her running her mouth. Before I decided to go dim (which is now dark) I had found her on myspace and we were messaging back and forth, which was childish, and she said something to him about info he was giving me. Anyway that WILL never happen again. I am now DARK! Not even giving him his mail anymore. I put it in his mailbox when he is asleep or at work. I hope he doesnt try to make trouble for me and my visitors.
So have you decided to move on? Is that why you keep mentioning other men? Are you actually expecting company?
Do you want reconciliation?
I am a little confused. I also want to be very honest with you. You have not been apart from your H very long to already be dating other men. Sounds like rebound to me and that is not fair to anyone involved. It is also causing your H to think of less of you. You can not claim to love someone then run out and find a new person the moment the person you love is not going along with you and being nice. Your H is going to be able to see right through it. You do not need to announce any of these things about moving on, seeing other people or anything because your just baiting him.
Sometimes our loved ones have a hard time that they do not fully understand themselves. They need a rock to lean on. They may not lean on us right away but God willing He will provide a time for that to happen and out spouses will appreciate it.
I just don’t see how baiting your husband and trying to make him jealous is going to get you anywhere. You need to stop playing these childish games. No messaging the other person on My space either! He may be mad now but how do you know that they will not reconcile then sit around laughing about you?
I think you need to decide what your goals are, moving on or reconciliation.
You need to discover your personal goals which only involve you and work towards those for the time being.
VH, couldn't it be he stills cares and dont want to see me with someone else? He did say that it hurt him when I told him about it.
Ok Heartscared, I am confused. NO I dont want a relationship right now , I am still heartbroken. BUT I dont want my xh to think I am pinning away for him. I thought (which was probably a bad idea) that showing him I have moved on will open his eyes. You know, as soon as he sees I am not waiting for him kinda thing. I want so much for my xh to come home, but not until he has ended his journey. My goal is reconcilation BUT only I want that right now. I see all these people on here that have been waiting months and even years for their spouse and some have not returned. I dont want to be one of those spouses, I dont think I can wait for years. When my xh realized I might be dating, he showed he cared for me and that was what I was looking for. He even said I hurt him when I told him about it. I am not saying I went about it right, heck I dont know what right is. I just couldnt understand why he didnt want to be around me when we have divorced friends that talk nicely to each other all the time.I just didnt think he cared anymore, and maybe he dont, but if he didnt I dont think it would of hurt him. Why would you think he is thinking less of ME after what HE has done to our family. I am just trying to understand. Others, not on here, have told me once he sees me with someone else he will wake up, I guess I was trying to play that card. I understand what you are saying, but does it really hurt for him to think I might be moving on and NOT waiting on him. OR will this cause him to come home to quickly and not finish his journey? I know that others have advised me to go dark and that is what I am trying to do now after being SO hard headed. I want very much to do what is right. I know I need to wait on GOD to move and for his will to be done. Sometimes we try to fix things ourselves, like I did. I have to learn NOT to do this.