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#1703750 01/28/09 12:18 AM
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Still no luck on the job front. I am still working for a friend at a warehouse so at least I am staying busy. I did have a second interview today for a Managers job at the airport for Aramark so we shall see what comes of that. Interestingly they asked me if I would be interested in a GM's spot in Los Angeles. Unfortunately it is not an option for me right now, it is a really good job and could have been great.

Financially things are very rough right now. I am just trying to make ends meet until a job comes through. I have made all the cuts I can and the next steps will be getting rid of the internet so I am trying to avoid that if there is any way possible as it is pretty much my lifeline for jobs, support, etc......

So Sunday my mom calls me and asks me to go to Costco with her. I figure it is just to help her get her groceries but as we walked around I realized she was buying all things that my kids eat. So she spent $240 loading me up with groceries for the kids. It was awesome of her to do that for me, but it was definitely a test of my humility. I have not had to rely on my mom since I was a teenager and it was very difficult to have her do that for us. I am trying very hard to accept the fact that right now I do need the help. Not easy for me to do as I have always been so self sufficient.

Nothing new on the Carrie front, everything is still exactly the same. She wants the divorce done but really isn't doing anything to get it there. I just sit back and wait since it is really all I can do. Her and Tawny are still not talking. It seems that she has simply accepted not having her daughter in her life for now.

Tawny has been in a little trouble here lately. She got suspended from school for ditching. She also had a small run in with the law which was not fun. I have grounded her for a month, taken away her cell, computer, and tv. So she will have plenty of time to get her school grades back up..........

Ross is doing well for the most part. A few missing homework assignments now and again, but nothing out of hand or unexpected for a 12 year old boy. Overall he seems to be adjusted to the way things are.

Yakeline and I are doing well. She has been pretty great through the job loss situation and checks up on me all the time. She will be coming over and making dinner tomorrow night so I am looking forward to spending time with her. I think that something that has surprised me is that what I thought was just going to be a dating thing has turned into something more and I am very happy about that. She is a very special woman and has been wonderful about all of my crap with the divorce. She is great with my kids and has made sure that they clearly understand that she knows that they are my priority. I feel pretty damn lucky to have her in my life.


So I just keep on going. Dealing with things as they come about. The good thing is I am not panicking or freaking out. Just do what I can do each day and know that no matter what as long as I keep doing what is right everything will be ok. I do have to continue to work on being humble, as I said that is difficult for me. The work never ends.......


Ian


M- 48
XW- mentally 17
KIDS- 3- S19, D23, D28
Married- 17 years
Divorce final- 10/16/09

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Ian, I think the trick in these situations is to realize that waiting for the IN basket to be empty so that we can enjoy life just ain't gonna happen! It seems we just go from one sitch to another and that becomes life. It's not good or bad, it just is! So your attitude is great, take it as it comes and make the best of each day. It's all any of us can really do. As far as humility, maybe that's the lesson the Lord is helping you to learn here and in the long run it will be an incredible blessing...who really knows. Hang in there!


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
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Maybe it's not a lesson in humility.Maybe it's a reminder of who loves you.

What a wonderful thing your mother did for you.I know as a mother it makes me happy to give to my children.It's a nice reminder that they need me.

Later Friend
Briget


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what a wonderful mom \:\)

I have not a doubt that you will be blessed Ian, you will find a good job when the time for that comes.


Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2

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Like you Ian I have had to accept help from my family on a few occasions and it has been very difficult to accept that help..they do it because they love us and that should be enough. I'm glad your mom is in a position where she can offer you that help....

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Ditto all of the sentiments. Back when my daughter needed a major surgery, we had to go to social services and turn to a non-profit for help. Our mortgage was paid for three months, they paid for my son's preschool for 6, and cooked meals for our family. Other bills were paid. It was really hard to go into that office, asking for help.

Now, I give back whenever I can. I cook for other families in town with sick kids. I load up the town pantry on occasion. And donate money when there is a bit left over.

It is hard, it is humbling, but the people who give are actually GETTING so much from it! More than the help you are receiving. I've been on both sides of it...
You give a gift to someone who wants to help you, by letting them help. Your mom knows that you are not out "gold-digging." And that this is out of the norm for you. Bridget and Mike are right, that you made your mom so happy to be able to be there for you, to do something tangible to help.
How many times have we offered our help to someone, but they don't leave us anything to do?

Humble is one way to look at it...grace is another. You can have the grace and understanding that you will give back to someone when you can.

CA, huh? Did you run it past Carrie - she may have been lured by the promise of great weather and beaches....

(Did you read the Secret? One school of thought is to KNOW, in your heart, what you WILL have in your life, and then it manifests itself! Might be worth a shot...)

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Ian,
I wish you could have taken that job at the airport and then we could be "coleagues" (sp?) (I work at the airport here).

I pray you get a good job soon and I think you will. Secret workd for me inm any cases so maybe it is worth trying.

You are lucky to have your mom by you but she is also lucky to have you as a son too...
xxxx
K


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Hey gang, thanks for the comments and I will say this, I appreciate my mom more than anything. She is a very special woman who throughout my life has provided me with the security of knowing that no matter what she always loves me. What she did for me and the kids was not out of the ordinary for her, she is just special.

I think in reflecting on this the reason it is bugging me is because of something Carrie said in her dear John letter when she dropped the bomb. She told me that she always felt that I looked down on her/our friends. She told me that when we had friends that lived below our level I would look at them differently. I never believed that, always believed that I tried to help out our friends when I could. Maybe she looked at that as being a snob, who knows.

Anyway, it has always helped me to have drive and work hard to make a solid living. My career took a big huge backseat over the last 3 years and it needed to. However this change in "status" has not been the easiest thing to adjust to. I guess maybe humbled is the wrong way to look at it. Out of my comfort zone, is more accurate. I need to work on that big time.


Ian


M- 48
XW- mentally 17
KIDS- 3- S19, D23, D28
Married- 17 years
Divorce final- 10/16/09

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Quote:
CA, huh? Did you run it past Carrie - she may have been lured by the promise of great weather and beaches..


ummm, nope. I do not think thats a great idea......


M- 48
XW- mentally 17
KIDS- 3- S19, D23, D28
Married- 17 years
Divorce final- 10/16/09

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Hi Ian, Just wanted to check in and wish you the best of luck with your job hunt and everything else.

I think it's great that you are taking a rough situation and looking for lessons to be learned from it - not everyone can do that.

Hang in there!
Rob


Thread #10
22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07
Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
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