Forgive AND forget?

[Between Tears]

WCW,

Hey, if he was going to the point of deleting ow's history, he would of deleted the number too.... he didn't, so I would believe there hasn't been any contact, well, at least with the phone. He has kept the number, so there's a safety net, but no contact, sounds typical of someone a drift in life.

Naw, I don't think she really was a threat, at any time, but something I learned along the way, we, the LBS' make more of the OW/OM than there ever really is within the relationship with the wayward spouse. Even though Dick married Jane, their marriage isn't what I'd call based on love, respect, or even have a bond. It's new cars and splitting the mortgage, lots of time in court, yes, both sides, arguing about child support and parenting.... they belong together, for it has no depth.

Now, did you enjoy that bite to eat? Did you have a nice conversation?

The reason he hasn't engaged in your marriage yet, is because he hasn't fully dislodged his head from his *** oops! It's not time yet, he hasn't fully connected the dots nor has he completed the picture....

Patience my dear..... patience.

EEEEwwweee... don't you hate that word!

Blessing, and enjoy the small moments.

[SweetRedd]

LOL.. hasn't fully dislodged his head. I think that might be the best explanation yet!

Hi Friend It sounds like you're in a good place right now emotionally. Your H really has been moving towards you in baby steps. I remember when you would get nervous about how he'd act the next time you saw him and that endless cold shoulder of his. Then he didn't treat you as a friend. I think you have a friend nowadays. Your H is clinging to his independence. Why do you think that is? Do you think he's gradually moved into a stage of life where he's just comfortable with what he has because what he wants seems so hard to strive for? For instance.. maybe he likes the peace and comfort of your R and believes that getting closer would require revisiting the past or "working" on the R? I continue to wonder if he's in a "male menopause" and having issues that his pride won't allow him to reveal to you. It's easier to push you away than to feel like less of a man to you. Yes, pure speculation! Pride, shame, fear, fatigue.. all can keep us stuck.

Have you been acting as if? Is there a wall of unspoken stuff between ya'll? As much as you can predict his actions, rejection, ets.. I bet he can predict yours too. What would happen if you arrived at a meeting and went to sit by him acting like it's no big deal? What if you started seeking him out as your husband? Do you think he'd revert back to his former rejections and withdraw?

How's the weather there? Is it getting chilly? We've had TONS of rain here. The boys have played half their soccer and football games in the rain. Nothing smells better than a couple of wet, sweaty boys! lol Did I tell you we moved into a bigger house last Jan? More room, more cleaning We love it though! And the best news for last.. J and I are gonna be grandparents!! The baby is due in April. Please send up some prayers for baby Foof (don't ask, I have no idea why they're calling it that lol).

Huggggs WCW!

[kat727]

Just stopping by to say Hello! Hope you are doing well.

kat

[Phoenix_spark]

Yep me too. It's nice to come by and read about the baby steps. Keep it up. He handed you his old phone? Now that's a baby step and a half.

[WCW]

Look who's here while I've been off! how nice to see you all!

More patience? Probably.

H and I were both gone in different directions this past weekend. He actually came to give me a hug and wish me a Happy Anniversary before we left.

Now, did you enjoy that bite to eat? Did you have a nice conversation?

Actually, YES. There used to be a time that if we sat at the same table it was total silence filled with tension. Now we talk again, although some subjects will shut him down fast.

Have you been acting as if? Is there a wall of unspoken stuff between ya'll? As much as you can predict his actions, rejection, ets.. I bet he can predict yours too. What would happen if you arrived at a meeting and went to sit by him acting like it's no big deal? What if you started seeking him out as your husband? Do you think he'd revert back to his former rejections and withdraw?

There's a boatload of questions in there! yes and no to some of each! Act as if - mostly. Sometimes that wall needs to be breached and I try to choose the right words. Basically it still boils down to there are times that he is more receptive to me treating him like a H or me acting like his W but there are times that if I try to act TOO 'normal' he throws up that wall. Yes, I bet he can predict me too better than I can! I don't feel like I'm on thin ice or eggshells but I do feel like I have to get the timing real right to get a good response.

Piglet, we've had a nearly perfect fall, warm and sunny, but this week turned cold and I had frost on the windshield this morning! I didn't know you moved to a bigger house! good thing with a grandbaby on the way! congrats! Did J recover from his back problems? Is your life as good as it gets yet?

I had a bad show last weekend. Actually my mare showed very well and we had a lot of good compliments but the judge didn't like us! Still chasing points to get that 'title' on my mare.

H must finally be tired of staying gone late every evening. He's been home almost before dark lately! Lucky for me I was making squash in the oven and he likes that sort of thing and he was hungry too. Kaching, points for me! I really do think I have to step up in areas where I've been lacking as I've only had to think about me me me for so long while H has been fogged in.

I also need to keep the balances in check. Every positive still has one or more negatives to make the teeter totter uneven.

[faithisbelieving]

Piglet and you started out pretty close in time. Piglet....are you a piecer? FIB

[WCW]

I was out of town for the weekend. H was here when I got home. I took Piglets advice and went ahead and acted like H was my H. I went over and hugged him. It took a little while though to catch up with him when he saw me coming! JK. He was surprised though.

I surprised him again when I went to bed but first asked if he wanted to come and snuggle. H said 'I don't know' with a smirk. Um duh me, I didn't know what to say next so I just said 'you know where to find me if you do'. H came to bed later and we woke up together in the morning.

[NNP1965]

wow, I think that little tidbit is a HUMONGOUS baby step!!!

[brandnewday]

Sounds like things are moving along!!

[WCW]

Thanks ladies!

We were invited to a MNF party. I asked H if he wanted to go, he thought he would be hunting and wouldn't make it. He also said where he would be hunting. H pulled in the yard just in time to go with me to our friends house to see the game. He was nice and social and ohsonormal with everyone.

We got home late and I was very tired from the long weekend and long day. I felt like I should offer H to come to bed again but I didn't want too. I just wanted to get a few hours of good sleep without 'worrying' about someone in bed with me. Gosh I feel guilty!