Just wanted to say hi. We started this journey together and we are still suffering. Lame, eh? I just read this latest thread. I'm no better off. I killed with kindness but it only kills me. Hang in there. My favorite advice at this point is something like, "To live well is the best revenge." Everyone wins that way. Just keep swimming. Get the D.
Thanks for posting. L
Me 41 W 39 d7, s4 M 13 Bomb ILYBNILWY November 28th, 2007
she makes it easier every time we talk now. she has been in Texas for 2 and a half weeks now...and she has this horrible fake southern accent. I wish I could play this voice message for you guys. Its ridiculous. This is so minor in the grand sceam of things, but it just hit me how different she is now. How fake and chameleon like she is. I think I may have posted this before, but I realize that if I was the problem she painted me to be, she would have been so much better without me. But shes not. She is nothing like the woman I knew for ten years. Her family was the most important thing about her, and now she lives as far away as possible. My W was a forgiving and loving woman, now she cant let any fault go in anyone, and she is super sarcastic with her friends. She called me today just to make sure my lawyer got the agreement that she signed about not wanting any more money from me. Thats great but its not either.
I feel guilty about getting the lawyer some days still. Yes she had a boyfriend ( for 6 months) but I was the “ pro marriage guy.” When I got the lawyer I feel she was able to do what I feared most, and that was take no responsibility for the divorce. My lawyer told her point blank she was not represented by him, but she didn't care. She stated she would just agree to everything because she wanted out so bad. So in the end I paid for the lawyer and now I am “in charge” of a divorce I don't want. But I was explained it didn't matter because as long as my W signed the papers, I could not stop it.
So here I am
All I have left is a LRT. I will not call her back right away on anything. I will live well. I miss her, but only as she was.
He Marcum, Well, we all know the WAS does a good job at the blame game. Some eventually see the light that it's a 50/50 game. Isn't it strange how they do change though. Like they are trying to find themselves, but can't stop long enough to do that.
I was kinda in your shoes, but we didn't use a lawyer. I didn't want the D but finally I just took control of getting it done. Have to say that, in the end, I'm happy I did. I think you just know when the struggle is over & there's no point in holding on to a dead M.
Good luck!
Me39, XH45 Kids 3 dogs, 2 cats Divorced 6/4/09 Tricky thing is not how you live, but how you live with yourself. (POTC)
I just got forwarded pics from a mutual friend form my ex W facebook. It turns out she moved to texas with her new man. To tell ya all the truth I dont know why she lied about it. If sher moved on then great she moved on, but dont be a false with yourself about it. look in the mirror and say " hey I wasent happy and moved on."
ah well tears and full steam ahead with the D. I still belive in marrage. I just dont belive in her.
Me: 54 Her: 50 and sexy as hell M: 32yrs T: 34yrs Bomb: Sept 26-07 "lost our emotional connection" Bomb 2: Dec 25-07 she's "not feeling desire" She asked if she could come home Apr 26-08! Everything's GREAT!
Ohhh. Sorry you got that bit of news. So, is she NOT doing volunteer work there? Was everything a lie?
I know exactly how you feel about the changes in your wife. My h changed so much that I don't know him know, and I don't like him. I love him as he was when we met, before the last 3yrs. It's so hard.
You're such a good-hearted guy. Your wife is blind and she doesn't want to know for who you are.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
Hello MM I am so glad your doing well. LB you arre always in my prayers. Cat you input is always welcome. You guys are better friends to me then my ex wife has beenb for the last year and a half. your always there and give me feed back, and when i need a kick in the pants your never hatefull...or you never lie to me. I love you all very much. its just so damn hard so near the end.
