A Divorce Busting® Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.


Save your marriage singlehandedly
with Divorce Busting Telephone Coaching
Call 303-444-7004 to get started right away.

A Message from Michele
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#1686226 01/03/09 02:29 PM
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 32
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 32
Hi guys,

it's been a long time since I've been on this site. I'm hopeful for a really great 2009...lots of new things in my life.

Tell me that others have had to lose their homes from divorce and that it's not the worst thing to happen. I'm so morally against defaulting on a commitment (including my marriage - but one can't stay married alone!) and i've struggled so long to keep everything afloat.

People bounce back from this right? Thanks guys....

Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 3,694
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 3,694
I bounced back from a foreclosure in a big way.Well big to me.

I had alovely 4 bedroom house with a huge yard.With my ex we could afford it.But on my pay not so much.

I couldn't keep the yard up.Way to much for me.I was tired of calling a repair man everytime something broke.I never noticed things breaking when the ex was there.

So when I lost my house I got a cute little apartment right across the street from my work.My commute is now two minutes.

It takes me about a half hour to clean.I have a little bit more money lift over.

I know it sucks while your going through it.But once it's over you will feel relief that it is over.And you can start over with a clean slate.

I have made a good life for myself and it feels good.It will be nice once the stress of it is over.

Later Friend
Briget


The grass is always greener over the septic tank... Erma Bombeck Treat hate with Love... DR. Martin Luther King
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 3,103
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 3,103
Quote:
it sucks going through it

It is in the short run.

Used to own a 4br house across the street from a lagoon that emptied into the Gulf Of Mexico with a park next to the water and a panamoric view. I swam to the gulf and could kayak almost to my property.

I now live in an RV and it's not a high end one about 1.5 miles from my old house. Still own the Kayak and still can use it in the same lagoon.

However I have more fun and though the RV is defininely not a babe magnet (more like babe repellent) the freedom of not maintaining brick and mortor worrying if you are going to loose it is priceless. I do what I want when I want. My biggest decision is what item on my Bucket list I will do this year. I've picked a job I litterly can swim, kayak, bike, or drive to work depending on weather time or energy or if I want

or not.

I consider myself very fortunate and I would not trade freedom down to a middle class lifestyle ever again.


I do not recommend that lifestyle for a woman or if you have kids but if I had a choice of living under a concrete overpass or again slaving to pay for a nice upper middle class house with a spouse wanting to leave and kids thinking it's their birthright then the Interstate highway system has another resident. Janis Joplin nailed it on the freedom quote though the rest was taken too far.


"All I want is a weeks pay for a day's work"
Steve Martin



Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 32
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 32
Thanks guys. I'm glad to hear you are both so happy now.

Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 245
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 245

It turns out better sometimes then you expect. I gave him the house and got a 2 bedroom loft condo. I love it. It's all mine.

I left a 4 bedroom home big yard, the works it can all depend on how you look at it...in the beginning I missed my "home' now I have a new home and it's great for me...I am very blessed...ITSY


M54
H54
married 30 years
Prostitues and Other women "100's" 10/7/2004
Prostitue/Junkie girlfriend 6/04-1/07?
Left 1/5/05 returned 1/9/05
Asked h to leave 4/2005 Had to, prostitues
OW 5/2005 not a prostitue
Divorced 9/2006
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 245
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 245

It turns out better sometimes then you expect. I gave him the house and got a 2 bedroom loft condo. I love it. It's all mine.

I left a 4 bedroom home big yard, the works it can all depend on how you look at it...in the beginning I missed my "home' now I have a new home and it's great for me...I am very blessed...ITSY


M54
H54
married 30 years
Prostitues and Other women "100's" 10/7/2004
Prostitue/Junkie girlfriend 6/04-1/07?
Left 1/5/05 returned 1/9/05
Asked h to leave 4/2005 Had to, prostitues
OW 5/2005 not a prostitue
Divorced 9/2006
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 245
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 245

And you do bounce back it just takes time ITSY


M54
H54
married 30 years
Prostitues and Other women "100's" 10/7/2004
Prostitue/Junkie girlfriend 6/04-1/07?
Left 1/5/05 returned 1/9/05
Asked h to leave 4/2005 Had to, prostitues
OW 5/2005 not a prostitue
Divorced 9/2006
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,557
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,557
I was lucky to keep my home, but as with all things there are challenges in doing so. Sometimes I wish that I just had a small apartment, but I wanted my kids to have a nice home.

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 133
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 133

I kept the home but 2 years later am moving out for a job change. Packing up and coming across the mementos of our life together here stirred up many painful thoughts. I'll leave this place behind and the constant reminders here of us and all the work we put into it over the years, its total renovation inside and out. Getting rid of the accumulated 'stuff' of 10+ years is so liberating - all the junk becomes such a burden.

Haven't found a new place yet but it will be mine alone, free of the memories of a life with her. This is a good thing and another step in moving forward and healing.

-db


Moderated by  Cadet, job, Virginia 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Save Your Marriage! Schedule Online

Schedule a phone consultation with a Divorce Busting® Coach! Call: 800-664-2435 or 303-444-7004