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I agree Steve, it does come in stages. And that's another thing I've been praying about, I know I have to forgive him in order to be forgiven myself.
The thing with this afternoon...it's not like, ok, I forgive him, time to move on. I have a long way to go to forgive him for things that have happened. And I long for the time when I am able to forgive him for everything. I've been asking God to soften and heal my heart and take the anger away so that I CAN begin to forgive him.
I think what was accomplished today was a start. I went from not even being able to look at him, much less talk to him, to being able to have a conversation with him. Granted, it wasn't a happy go lucky conversation! But I don't feel it was a bad one either. We both started upset, but ended it civil, which we haven't been in quite a while.


Me- 29
X - 30
M - 7.5 years
Final April 2009
S - 2005
D - 2007


Don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option.

A wise fish once said...Just keep swimming...Just keep swimming!
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Prayer can be a HUGE part of forigiveness, but it will still come in stages. Most all of us know that deep hurt and anger, just takes time to run it's course even when you are asking that it be taken away.

You'll just realize at some point down the road that the majority of it is gone. Something will flare it up again and you'll get over it quicker than you did before.


Me: 43 XW: 41 Kids: 4 (3D & 1S)
M: 17 yrs S: 9/07 D: 6/08
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yes, forgiveness is a process not an instant desicion, at some point you are able to not be angry when you look back. Last year I said I forgave him I really didnt since I was still pretty angry at remembering all the crap he did to me.

I prayed to God to give him his forgiveness to give to him, it helped me lots.


Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2

30something
2kids
survivor of S, MLC, A, D
I have peace in my heart, at last.
cat03 #1701434 01/24/09 11:34 PM
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Hi guys, Hope everyone is doing good.
Things have been up and down here. S1 came home with a stomach bug from stbx's on Sunday night. Then I got it. S3 has a cold and D1 is teething. So lots of fun! lol
Stbx and I are able to speak to each other now. It helps that he is now being nice. But I know, because of the past, it won't last long and he has a plan behind it.
We're meeting this coming week to go over the settlement. Things will pretty much be the same as the last one, just a few things different that I'm asking for.
I'm very excited to be starting the next chapter of my life! I will be moving back home with my parents for a bit until I get back on my feet. Not the ideal situation, but it's all for the best. But I'm happy to be able to spend more time with them and my kids to be with them. We live too far away right now to just pop in for a visit. I'm excited to get S3 into soccer and pre-k in the fall. And he's going to be going to the same elementary school I went to!
The future is so exciting and scary at the same time! This time last year tho, it was more scary for me. But now I find myself being impatient to start it! lol We'll be moving in the next 2 months or so, and it seems like its so far away!


Me- 29
X - 30
M - 7.5 years
Final April 2009
S - 2005
D - 2007


Don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option.

A wise fish once said...Just keep swimming...Just keep swimming!
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 4,805
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you sound good, I'm happy for you, yes, envision a good future for you and the kids, you'll do great)))


Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2

30something
2kids
survivor of S, MLC, A, D
I have peace in my heart, at last.
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