Why is it that my X still insists on having sex w/ me??? Is he a manwh***?? You would think they way he pursues me (constantly) that he was being deprived of any sex!!! Which I seriously doubt...
Now I understand why in the past he would insits I drop the kids off to his sister ,who btw lives in my neighborhood, in order for him to supposedly just go straight there and then drop them off after his visit. Its funny how I can predict what he will do about 90% of the time (whenever I give him any head space).
The other day xsisnlaw had me drop off the girls to her place and told me to tell x to pick them up there, she baught them clothes & they were to try them on.
Well..it had been around three weeks since I had been avoiding X at all cost, no meeting him half way for kid drop offs anymore , no seeing him not even to say to hi when he'd pick them up.
I was upset he was behind on his alimony & I gave him a legite excuse b/c I told him I had let my tags expire & didnt want to be running around and get a ticket.
On this day though I had the feeling he would attempt to come see me esp. since the kids were not @ home. YEP! I was outside finishing putting on the xmas lights when he pulls up. I was sitting on the floor on the porch walkway w/ red and green candy canes surrounding me all around...
I looked up w/ a weird question look on my face?
X-You look nice sitting there w/ those lights! I thought I'd come & visit for a little bit & give you yr check. M-Whats up w/ u? X- (As he looks up @ the lights and the garland wrapped around the poles of the porch). It must be nice to have all this $ for this! M- These r the same lights I had @ the old house(our house). Ofcourse the past 2 yrs are a blurr to you! (The man cant remember anything he did or said back when he was so blinded by the GF)! He insisted he didnt remember and to not start w/ him. I said not starting anything and dropped it. He took one candy cane & hooked around my neck to pull me towards him...I knew what was in his mind, he had that look.
I thought good we r outside, he wont try anything, HA! he tried to kiss me & then he went inside to use the bathroom.I had to keep going in & out and while inside he planted a kiss & I kept my mouth shut when he bit me and had to open my mouth. I FELT NOTHING!! He said lets do it right here infront of the xmas tree! NO! I said, why he kept asking.
This kept going on for a half hour. I told him to put his stuff back inside his pants & go see yr girls yr late!
Men- is it the chase? What is it? Why risk it, for if he gets kicked out he will have no where to go (i think) & no $ to get a place.
at the danger of sounding like a @itch.. 'cause you let him. How else can he feel it's ok to talk to you like that and get physical with you? Why do let him come over to see you? you even allowed him to kiss you and all.
If you really wanted this to stop then when he comes you meet him at the driveway, exchange/get whatever he'd there to drop off and send him off without any chitchat nor a chance for him to get fresh. If you are all business and let him know at the first chance that he wants to be stupid that you will not tolerate his behavior and you keep being consistent he should back off. Keep exchanging kids else where and dont' allow him into your place anymore.
And you dont have to give him any "legitimate" reason why you need your alimony, it's YOUR money by law and let him know that in x days your L will be contact him him if he doesn't pay. That money was granted to you, and even you felt like buying 20 purses with it it's your business, you dont' need to give him a good excuse.
Yup, I do sound like a @itch! but I have learn this past few weeks that only distance gives a woman (or man) sanity from crazy WASs.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
I was doing soo good by NC fopr an entire month. But I had dropped off the kids @ his sis sooooo I was enjoying my free time putting up the lights bymyself & did not expect his visit @ all. I did bite him back,though & had to leave w/ blue ba***.
Yes, the no contact or minimal contact makes things easier. If I don't see or hear my X I do MUCH better and have no residual thoughts. When the X is a big flirt it can be flattering, but in the end it is just more crap/complication that they bring into your life.
X picked up the girls last night for the entire week. Before he came over he told D11 to tell me to not 'hide from him'. Why? What does it matter. Im always better off not seeing him @ all. No longer do I need to meet him @ the door or step outside nor does he need to come to the door. I make sure to avoid him when he comes especially since nothing seems to stop his sexual advances.
Earlier in the day I had emailed him requesting him to send me a list of what all his family (including his sister) had gotten the girls for gifts to make sure I dont get them the same. His response:
My family is my sister...in other words his way of reinerating OW is not his family...Hmmmm does she know this? For when they all pray for their nightly dinner according D11 OW says "thanks God for OUR family"....huh....
No response as for the list, so I figured he would tell me that nite.
As usual I did not go outside nor show my face when he arrived. Kissed my girls goodbye and shut the door behind them. Knock, knock..guess who's there?? I thought maybe one of the girls forgot something, nope it was X. He went on to tell me about the list & complimented on my looks. I was dressed to go out. "Now you can get laid" "Uh..nope dont need that in order to do so" In other words he was taking the kids and so on.... "OH, I know yr already getting some...." "When will it be my turn" As he leaned in closer to my face & I was not upon eyesight of the girls who were wating in his car. He attemted to kiss me & kissed my neck.
He gave me a tight hug so much that I could barely breath, as I gasped for air...for I couldnt hug back the same. He wished me a good Xmas.
Ahhhhhh...quiteness all through the house. As much as I will miss them, I sure needed this break. I can have an entire phone convo w/out any interruptions, w/out having to lock myself in teh bathroom. I can see a movie from beginning to end & know what when on. I can make it to work on time & wont have to battle w/ the two tiny ones to get out of bed and then 20 minutes later to see them sitting on the floor staring out to space not even dressed @ all. Yeah, exhausting before I make it in to work. It takes two hours in the mornings.