Marisol, Well that's pretty tricky I mean, Its really your call. I mean a few things can happen. 1 they may not believe you or 2 they may not care. I mean I would love to expose to their partners. Are the OW 1 and 2 married?
I wish you could do a really good Plan A or maybe 2-3weeks and then a complete dark Plan B from SAA. I think you really do need some distance right now as it does seem he has some internal things going on, but it always makes the distance better if a Plan A is done first. Have you read SAA? Have you thought about registering on the SAA forum? I am here and there, so is hope.
I do think you have a better chance of being proactive than just kinda waiting it out. Even in Dr. Dobsons Love Must Be Tough, he said in all his experience only those who took a hard stand had any chance of reconciling and that most of the individuals that just appeased the affair lost their marriages in the end.
Consider SAA and keep 180'ing and GAL'ing! We'll have to salsa some day!
That is so awesome that you love salsa lessons I told you it was a hoot and a great GAL activity too.
Me-38 H-38 Married 18years Daughter-17 & Son-9 Discovery of EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in with OW 08/01/08
The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works is the family. -- Lee Iacocca
Here's a little tidbit from a poster on the SAA forum his name is MR. Wonderings....enjoy......
Wayward Spouses ALWAYS affair down. They NEED someone beneath them, who will admire them and give them feigned respect. Your husband is not seeking out the younger, better looking woman, he is taking whatever opportunity presents itself and meets his needs for sex, admiration, and boosts his self-esteem. SHE IS NOT SPECIAL. If she happens to be younger and pretty that is just the luck of the draw and a RARITY...most of the time it IS NOT the case. After reading here you will discover that the OW could have been anyone and your husband's choice of OW was not in any way an indication or indictment of you as a beautiful, attractive, desirable, intelligent, mature, moral, loyal, spiritual woman, wife and mother. OW is, I guarantee, no match for you.
Think of it this way, your husband is behaving low and dirty. Thus it necessarily takes a pretty low class woman to admire him at this point ... DO NOT allow this trash to rock your self confidence. You may or may not have let yourself go...but you can get it back and be the classy, beautiful, respectful, upstanding, Grade A woman you always were whereas the Other Woman WILL ALWAYS remain trash.
Me-38 H-38 Married 18years Daughter-17 & Son-9 Discovery of EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in with OW 08/01/08
The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works is the family. -- Lee Iacocca
I've been so busy and only posting on my thread... I've been doing fairly good last few weeks until this week... with Christmas and all.. My H is spending tomorrow night and Christmas with me and the girls... sometimes I wonder why am i letting him do this.... but I have also learned to be cold gets me no where... I think this will be the last of letting him hang out with me and girls as a family... I will try my best to suck it up and play nice and charming .... let him wonder why he is leaving again.
I need to revisit SSA and tough love... so hard to know what really is best.. doesn't God already have our future figured out no matter what efforts we put forth? Is it really going to make a difference? Only thing in my situation I agree with is to NOT have discussions out of anger, emotions, etc.. conversation never goes well..... playing neutral or friendly has worked best for me and my H is more inclined to open up.
hang in there everyone.....
Me: 38/H:40 M:7yrs TG: 10yrs 2Girls: 4yr & 7 month old Bomb 8/22/08 OW/EA/PA 8/23/08 with 25yr old Moved out 9/22/08
Hi All, {{{hugs}}}} how is everything going? My sitch seems to be getting worse. How are you holding up? As for your question "is it an affair if they are looking for someone new" Absolutely. Any "dating" while being married constitutes as an affair, no matter how they make it seem. If you are still legally married then yes and of course whoever it is your H is "trading down"
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Hi Txmom, T2L has mostly been posting in Marriage builders. I am there also. Same names. T2L is still in Plan B -- look at her link over there.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
